Wm. Wallace the Freedom Fighter's definitions

imminent global apocalypse

Used as a comparison to righteously downplay the purported wrongness of a non-criminal act when it's presented as criminal. It trivializes unnecessary hatred toward a deed.

What imminent global apocalypse will happen if I fart in public? If I had 300 million dollars I'd pay someone $20 everytime I caught them farting in public.

Is there an imminent global apocalypse that will occur if I stay up during the night while you sleep, provided that I am quiet?

No matter how hard Marx tried, he couldn't stop the imminent global apocalypse that happened when people smoked marijuana in the privacy of their own homes.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter March 4, 2008

I'm slitting my stomach

Harakiri, seppuku, belly cutting. It's when you take a samurai sword and carve into the skin and fat of your abdomen and as you feel the pain, reach into the bloody mess and pull out your guts. Most likely you die from a lack of blood. Some more cowardly samurai would get their friend to chop off their head to ease the pain.

My geisha left me, my trainer got shot with arrows, and my bird ran away...I'm slitting my stomach.

I'm a manly samurai--I'm slitting my stomach, and I don't want any assistance as I go on my instant trip to an eternal vacation.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter December 25, 2007

the age of well-behaving animals

The Christian afterlife, when lions can be petted by humans while sitting next to a lamb, without fear of getting mauled. Since humans are of the animal kingdom, they will behave good too.

In the age of well-behaving animals, no strain of bacteria would not make us sick, and elephants wouldn't trample children.

In the age of well-behaving animals, no one would bother going to war or steal from someone.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter January 12, 2008

bred like a nymphomaniac rabbit on Viagra

What a human has done who thinks the only meaning of life is to make more life. Often has 6 or more children, wants to get free paychecks, has many spouses (consecutively or concurrently), wants time off from work, and doesn't believe in either condoms or abstinence.

Heather's grandmother bred like a nymphomaniac rabbit on Viagra. She had 17 children, each and every one a body mass index of 40.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter April 23, 2008

Thorodin

A cool made up male Viking name, it is Thor crossed with Odin. So if someone's a little higher than the pagan gods, they are Thorodin. Pronounced thore-uh-dinn.

Thorodin tore out the Crusader's jugular vein with his teeth like it was the tape out of a cassette.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter December 25, 2007

elven

Of the elves or having to do with elves, the fairytale creature. Usually not used when referring to short Santa's elves.

I know a girl who has elven pointy ears.
An elven lifespan is very long.

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter May 23, 2008

coprophagia

The only redeeming feature of a dog, when it recycles its food by eating its doo doo. Oh yeah, and occasional honking up of grass (the lawn kind) on the windowsill.

We filled a double layer blu-ray recordable disc with 1080p dog coprophagia.
Why don't they hurry up and make a genetically modified cat with obsessive incurable coprophagia?

by Wm. Wallace The Freedom Fighter December 25, 2007