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ringoism

To try to live by the example set by our lord savior Ringo Starr, or Richard Starkey as he is known to people from his hood.
We thought the cult of Ringoism would start off with a bang, but we really couldn't come up with much. The pot smoking got a little stale, and Jimmy was busted for trying to break into the "Thomas the Tank Engine" studio. We thought about banging Barbara Bach, but decided to wank off on some old playboys instead.
by Wisk February 5, 2008
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mr mcfeeley

A surprisingly public pedophile on the Mr. Rogers show. Fred Rogers employed Mr. Mcfeeley on a work-furlough program, and openly discussed Mcfeeley's irrisistable urges on the show. McFeeley explained that he was heavily medicated, and the children on the show had nothing to fear as long as the cameras continued to roll. He is listed in the National Registry for sex Offenders for several Mctouches and more than a few Mcfeels.
Mr Mcfeeley didn't so much enjoy delivering the mail as he did lurking around the studio when children visited the set. The Mustache was a rather weak disguise.
by Wisk January 30, 2008
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fecal lucidity

The ability to concentrate that is regained upon moving one's bowels.
Jim got home from work to Cindy's litany of how badly the kids were behaving, but fortunately for them, they were in luck. Jim could not concentrate on a single word with the turtle head poking out. Once he was done dumping he achieved a level of unmatched fecal lucidity.
"So," sighed Jim deeply, walking out of the bathroom, "Anything interesting happen today?"
by Wisk January 31, 2008
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ovaltine

Narcotic to be used to subdue the will of children. Symptoms of Ovaltine poisoning:
A)Children travel in packs like wild predators, taking down their game (other children) by striking at the neck and back. Only the most vigorous of them is spared and brought as an offering to their parents house, where the other children are rewarded with a fresh suck at the Ovaltine teat.
B)Children chant mindlessly the mysterious phrase "MORE OVALTINE, PLEASE," over and over. (Short documentary footage of this phenomenom is played periodically on television and radio)
C)The stool of the Ovaltine addicted child is extremely hard and jagged, and can be harvested and used for deep sea drilling. Rachel Ray uses one to chop her veggies.
We took the kids up to see the folks, and turned off the interstate near Fairfield. As we drove down a residential street, dozens of children with glazed looks and bared teeth started to paw at the car, chanting, "More Ovaltine, Please!" over and over. I screamed, and my husband was forced to run a few down as he floored the gas pedal, and we got the hell out of there.
by Wisk February 6, 2008
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PV

abbreviation for personality vomit, when a person spews intimate details about themselves to a complete stranger or a mere acquaintance.
The entire office and the Fedex guy was aware of when the receptionist was menstruating. He indadvertantly delivered a package at the hour of onset, and he was immediately covered in PV.
by wisk April 24, 2008
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surge

1)A word that was produced after Karl Rove ejaculated on a focus group.
2)Code word from Newscaster. When spoken it is a signal that means "This newscast has no ability to offer you anything but already chewed vomit. Please find another news source if you want to find out what's going on. You are looking at an image that bears no resemblance to any shred of honesty of moral conscience. Look away, look away!"
3)A juicy sounding word that distracts from more boring words like "Effective self-governance," "Competent War and Crisis Management," "Stemming of obsene corruption by friends of the administration," "incompetence," "Hey! We have no idea what were doing, and still our bank accounts are growing! Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah! Look over here! Can't see us through the smoke screen of great words like 'surge' 'war on terror' 'mushroom cloud' 'georgie's Mushroom cap'."
1)"Whoa!" cried the group as they were covered with Rovejuice. "That was some surge!" panted KR as he swabbed his member with a damp cloth. "How does that grab ya?"
The dials all rotated to quickly to the right, so that they might escape this madman.
2)Tim Russert asked the panel on "Meet the Press" how the surge was going. This was his cue for us Russert fans to turn to Emeril on the "Food Channel," a show where Russert was co-producer.
3)The bandits had Jimmy and I at gunpoint, but Jimmy thought quick. "Surge!" he yelled, pointing at the door. The gunmen looked over, and we knocked the guns from their hands. By the time the police arrived, it was all over but the shouting.
by Wisk February 5, 2008
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client number nine

1) Former NY governor Elliot Spitzer, who was given this designation by a call girl ring to protect his identity.
2)What one pitcher calls the opposing pitcher in the National League when he homers off of him. Cause he's his bitch.
3)A John who can manage to move his bowels 4 1/2 times during a single session with a prostitute.
1) Madam- Take client number nine tonight, and wear make him wear a rubber helmet.
Hillary (not her real name)- Good thing you're not running the witness protection program.
Madam- Shut your pie hole, and get on your back!
2) In 2001, Mike Hampton was client #9 to seven hurlers, but he was playing in Colorado, where I think prostitution is legal.
3) Madam- Take client number nine tonight, and bring some baby-wipes.
Hillary- **GROAN***
by wisk March 13, 2008
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