Wingy's definitions

Never Confused

Usually meaning you are not confused about your sexuality, can be used as the ending to a sentence that you just realised made you sound a little homosexual.

From the Pub Landlord played by Al Murray in Time Gentlemen Please

"I was just curious, y'know, as to the mechanics of the whole business. What do they get up to? I was never confused!"

by Wingy May 18, 2006

GELF

Genetically Engineered Life Form. Gelfs are all that remain of humanity after we render ourselves extinct in the far future, but we leave cultures of mix-matched animals on terraformed planets. Created by Rob Grant and Doug Naylor in the TV show and books of Red Dwarf.

Lister: We've got to shake it. What's over there?
Kryten: Gelf Space.
Lister: It'll never follow us in there.
Rimmer: No because Glefs are untrustworthy dangerous savages, it would be insane.

by Wingy December 28, 2005

Time Gentlemen Please

A phrase called out at closing time in a pub. A bell usually rings ten or fifteen minutes before to alert people that the bar is closing so that they can order more drinks. Then at closing the bell rings again and the bar person can say "Time gentlemen please!"

Also a TV show aired on Sky One starring Al Murray as the sad landlord of a london pub next to a chemical plant.

"Right that's it, time gentlemen please! Come on, drink up!"

by Wingy May 22, 2006

Danger shave

The act of attempting to shave your testicles with a standard face razor. Difficult, pointless and dangerously easy to make a mistake. Also difficult to explain what you're doing if your mum walks in.

"I had to go to hospital yesterday, had a danger shave and my hand slipped. I got four stitches!"

by Wingy December 14, 2005

Ugly little spud

Anything small, ugly and annoying. Children for example. Used in Ghostbusters to describe slimer.

"He's an ugly little spud isn't he?"
Ray Stanz, Ghostbusters.

by Wingy December 14, 2005

Genetic Engineering

Often misunderstood as a bad thing because of bad coverage in the press, it is in fact very useful. To engineer something you need to map an organism's DNA and then discover which genes have which effect. Then map another organism's DNA and implant those genes where you want the desired effect. It can be performed while a creature or plant is in it's embrionic stage, if done after there would be far too many DNA strands to alter. It could be used to create plants that would grow all year round in any county such as deserts without rain or even in antarctica and if there is water there, thoretically Mars.

"Genetic Engineering is a bad thing. I don't know what I'm talking about. I am an idiot."
Prince Charles.

by Wingy January 3, 2006

Breastaliser

A drunkeness test that can be used on men, which is much cheaper than a breathaliser. All you need to do to judge how much he's had to drink is to get a girl with large boobs to ask him a question and then see how long it takes him to look up at her face and answer.

1 second is normal
2 seconds is about 3 pints
3 or more is hammered

"Dude, you look a bit drunk, I think I'd better drive."

"Nah, don't be stufid, I'm prefectly okydoke to, um, drive."

"No way man I'd better use the breastaliser on you. Michelle, get your ass over here!"

by Wingy August 1, 2006