William Dean A. Garner's definitions

Jacket

1. Bodyguard
2. Bad ass

Two "jackets" come pimpin' outta the club, followed by their boss: six-foot, two inches and 170 pounds of pure, unadulterated pussy from heaven. I knew then I was in love. . . .

by William Dean A. Garner September 10, 2003

Moistie

A young (not THAT young!) beautiful, sensuous and precocious girl who's fully developed, well beyond puberty.

The volleyball court at the beach was full of "moisties."

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

Top-Ho

1. Best girlfriend
2. A really, really beautiful woman
3. A great fuck

Barbie's my "top-ho": always enthusiastic, ready to roll me up, take me down. . . .

by William Dean A. Garner September 11, 2003

powderpuff

Drug user, esp. cocaine

Sista Sam, my homie's "powderpuff," hoovered an entire ziploc o' coke in one slow up-the-shoot motion. . . .

by William Dean A. Garner September 11, 2003

mockumentary

a film that has the look and feel of a television documentary, but with the irreverent humor and slapstick of a comedy, designed to "mock" the documentary or subject it features.

"Drop Dead Gorgeous," which ridicules a local Minnesota beauty pageant, is the illegitimate child of "This Is Spinal Tap" -- a weak link in the people-are-stupid tradition. In that it portrays a group of film students making a documentary about a local witch legend, "The Blair Witch Project" is not unlike those "the making of" movie documentaries with which subscribers to HBO and Showtime are all too familiar.

by William Dean A. Garner August 28, 2003

Pooton

Noun. Pronounced POO-tahn. A shitload of trouble. Major notgoodness.

Dude, you just got us into major pooton.

by William Dean A. Garner May 22, 2011

cracked

To break, hack or "crack" a stupid-assed, expensive-beyond-belief, software program with a CD-ROM key code.

Carl sent me a "cracked" copy of Adobe Photoshop. Saved me $400!

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003