William Dean A. Garner's definitions

Fill-in-the-blank-istan

One of a dozen ex-Soviet satellite countries of western and southwestern Asia.

Out of all the Fill-in-the-blank-istans, Afghanistan is the most beautiful, especially the snow-capped Hindu Kush mountains.

by William Dean A. Garner February 18, 2011

mockumentary

a film that has the look and feel of a television documentary, but with the irreverent humor and slapstick of a comedy, designed to "mock" the documentary or subject it features.

"Drop Dead Gorgeous," which ridicules a local Minnesota beauty pageant, is the illegitimate child of "This Is Spinal Tap" -- a weak link in the people-are-stupid tradition. In that it portrays a group of film students making a documentary about a local witch legend, "The Blair Witch Project" is not unlike those "the making of" movie documentaries with which subscribers to HBO and Showtime are all too familiar.

by William Dean A. Garner August 28, 2003

ciaotime

When it's time to dump that someone special, or maybe not so special, it's "ciaotime." Ending a relationship.
pronounced "chow time"

After he cheated on his girlfriend the fourth time and she found out about it, it was ciaotime for the boyfriend.

by William Dean A. Garner April 5, 2011

Pooton

Noun. Pronounced POO-tahn. A shitload of trouble. Major notgoodness.

Dude, you just got us into major pooton.

by William Dean A. Garner May 22, 2011

cracked

To break, hack or "crack" a stupid-assed, expensive-beyond-belief, software program with a CD-ROM key code.

Carl sent me a "cracked" copy of Adobe Photoshop. Saved me $400!

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

blows my skirt up

1. Copasetic
2. Cool
3. Fuckin-A
4. Exciting
5. Titillating
6. Orgasmic

My last manuscript went to this 20-something junior editor in pigtails and a parochial-school skirt. It "blew her skirt up" around her face, revealing revealing a silver thong that wasn't so parochial. . . .

by William Dean A. Garner September 9, 2003

Quantoretto

The smallest unit of matter in the Universe. Makes up the three-dimensional field that is currently (incorrectly) termed "dark matter."

Plural: Quantoretta.

Each quantoretto contains enough energy to power all electrical devices on Earth for millions of years.

by William Dean A. Garner April 1, 2011