Person 1: Did that asshole drunk driver who killed your son get life behind bars?. Person 2: I wish, Instead he received a hefty fine and was banned from driving for 5 years. Good old justice is no more.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 24, 2018
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018
Mr Shipley: “I’m home”
The wife: “How was your day at work?”
Mr Shipley: Not good!, I’ve had to fire two of my reps, Sonia & Spencer. They just weren’t bringing home the bacon, so told them clear your desks and go, your fired!”.
The wife: “How was your day at work?”
Mr Shipley: Not good!, I’ve had to fire two of my reps, Sonia & Spencer. They just weren’t bringing home the bacon, so told them clear your desks and go, your fired!”.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018
To let out methane gas from the anus. This can also be known as Fluffing, Flatulence, Breaking/Passing wind etc.
Person 1: “Pawww!!! Dude is that a fart or did you just soil yourself?”
Person 2: “Omg I slipped out a little fart in here 10 minutes ago and you still smell it. To be fair I have had roast chicken”.
Person 1: “Yeah I can tell. Chicken farts are certainly one of the worst. That’s seriously rank”.
Person 2: “Sorry”
Person 2: “Omg I slipped out a little fart in here 10 minutes ago and you still smell it. To be fair I have had roast chicken”.
Person 1: “Yeah I can tell. Chicken farts are certainly one of the worst. That’s seriously rank”.
Person 2: “Sorry”
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018
1. My dad always looks very dapper in a sharp 3 piece suit when he goes to work, he even makes his boss look poor.
2. Wow Tony, your looking very dapper tonight. Have you got a date?
2. Wow Tony, your looking very dapper tonight. Have you got a date?
by WHISKEYMAN1234 July 25, 2018
Old geezer: So how was your first day cleaning the bathrooms at Swallow's gay bar?
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
Cleaner: It was vile!! but pretty funny...... OMG those cubicles were something else!! There was cum, blood, and lube all over the tiles. Numerous rubber johnnys everywhere, some of them were coated in diarrhea. There were lube bottles, wrappers, fag butts and ashes scattered around, and all those needles I found in the bin. The place was a fuckin mess bruv. Oh, and you'll never guess who I saw.
Old geezer: Tell me..
Cleaner: Auntie Lee was there, I saw him in the cleaning room, naked and getting rimmed by some fat bloke. He was crying his eyes out whilst telling the man how much he loves him.
Old geezer: (Laughs) You'll see worse than that the longer you work there son. I know jobs are scarce nowadays but I did warn you about working in those kind of places. Just don't drop your marigolds when cleaning the toilets and if you do leave em for fuck's sake!!! Just like prison, those dirty queers just love pouncing on and pushing poo.
Cleaner: Shit!! I'll remember that.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 July 02, 2019
John: “Honey, I’m afraid I curbed one of the wheels on our car today. I’m so sorry”.
Toni: “Really? Shit!!!, Well that’s life I guess”.
Toni: “Really? Shit!!!, Well that’s life I guess”.
by WHISKEYMAN1234 January 25, 2018