Virgin Suicides's definitions

suck my ex-dick

What Caitlyn Jenner yells at hecklers, harassers, paparazzi and anyone else who generally pisses her off.

Photographer : Hey Caitlyn, turn around so I can stick this camera down your cleavage and take a picture !
Caitlyn (sneering) : Hey, suck my ex-dick !!!

by Virgin Suicides November 1, 2017

half jacked-off

a synonym for half-assed, half baked, et al. Usually used to render scorn on a famous person/celebrity who, for all their glitter, charisma and talent really puts forth a miserable effort in said situation.

Ben Affleck's cinematic efforts of late have been generally of the half jacked-off variety.

by Virgin Suicides June 16, 2017

left bank cowboy

the peculiar yet somewhat predictable transformation certain young American celebrities experience upon going Continental (i.e., living or working in Europe). Akin to drugstore cowboy.

American actress Kristen Stewart has now made not one, but two, yes two, French films. Probably on the advice of her agents and handlers she has subsequently done the following :

1) shaved her head (like Sinead O'Connor);

2) dyed it blonde (like Annie Lennox);

3) and entered what appears to be her first serious lesbian/same sex relationship (like any number of American female expats of the last century).

I suspect before long she will also be sporting a Parisian accent, opening a salon, quoting Baudelaire, Cocteau, and Satre' incessantly, and complaining endlessly about all those bourgeoise, materialistic Americans who care only for money and nothing for art. Like Gwyneth Paltrow and so many others before, Kristen Stewart has become a left bank cowboy.

by Virgin Suicides May 5, 2017

15 minutes

about the time required these days when passing from one celebrity and corresponding fad to another, anyway one can achieve it.

Celebrity 1 : I was the 'it' girl in southwest Tanzania way back in 1979 !
Celebrity 2 : I was short listed for a Golden Globe for Best Sound Check Edit way back in 1985 !
Celebrity 3 : I was photographed with Cameron Crowe in 1996 - wayyyyy before he made 'Almost Famous'
Me : Really ? And I'm Gwyneth Paltrow's 49th cousin 117 times removed - on her great, great uncle's side - for anyone who's counting. Guess we all try for our 15 minutes anyway we can get them. LOL

by Virgin Suicides May 20, 2017

catholic accident

The child caboose in a (roman) catholic family, generally several to many older siblings, normally younger by as many as five years or more. Most know the Church is vehemently against abortion (duh), but it also highly disapproves of birth control, as well. This makes the likelihood of accidental / unplanned births among the most devout families almost an inevitability.

In the O'Callahan family of Medford, there are six children : Mary, Patrick, the identical twins Rory and Maile, Kathleen, and Kevin. Did I forget someone ? Oh, yes, a seventh - Edward, called Teddy by everyone else, although the twins jokingly refer to him as John Thomas behind his back as he is seven years (!) behind the next youngest sibling. Teddy is the caboose of the family, or more appropriately, the Catholic Accident, as his birth was something of a surprise (i.e., unplanned).

by Virgin Suicides April 17, 2017

I Love You, Man

phrase that two grown men can exchange as a sign of mutual admiration, confidence, loyalty and trustworthiness without any implication of erotic or sexual attraction.

From the popular podcast S-Town :

John B. McLemore : I love you, man.
Tyler Goodson : I know that. I love you too, John B.
John B. : And just because I say that, Tyler, doesn't mean I'm trying to get up your butt !
Tyler : I know that, John B. You've been like a second father to me.

(Months later, after John B.'s suicide) :

Tyler : Poor John B. Man, I miss that fucker ...

If S-Town is essentially correct, I think a lot of people miss John B. We all love you, John B. And miss you.

by Virgin Suicides July 27, 2017

the mysteriously vanishing 40-year old actress

The worst kept secret in American entertainment - be it film, stage or television : be a woman, be an actor and turn 40 years old, and your career is effectively over. You're done.

The American actress Hilary Swank a few years back played the lead in a film called 'Amelia', a biopic about Amelia Earhart. Earhart, for those of you who may not recall, was a famous early 20th century American female aviator who, at the age of 40, mysteriously disappeared and was never seen again. Ever. Which, when you think about it, is right up Hollywood's alley because if you're an actress and you're in Tinseltown and you turn 40, you disappear, too. Never seen again. Never. Ever. The mysteriously vanishing 40-year old actress.

by Virgin Suicides November 5, 2017