Virgin Suicides's definitions

loser's bracket

1. the sub-grouping within a competitive tournament whereby those who suffer their first loss are demoted to a pool of similar types who have suffered a like fate; one more defeat in this category renders the unfortunate complete elimination from the field.
2. a common perception that certain individuals are moving through their respective lives already having suffered some type of major defeat (or many smaller ones), thereby rendering them to a decidedly less than ideal existence.

Look at Joe : he attended all the wrong schools thereby acquiring all the wrong type of friends; this precipitated choosing the wrong type of occupation and marrying the wrong type of girl. Now he's in the wrong type of neighborhood with the wrong type of kids. Joe could be said to be existing in the loser's bracket of life.

by Virgin Suicides October 17, 2017

catholic accident

The child caboose in a (roman) catholic family, generally several to many older siblings, normally younger by as many as five years or more. Most know the Church is vehemently against abortion (duh), but it also highly disapproves of birth control, as well. This makes the likelihood of accidental / unplanned births among the most devout families almost an inevitability.

In the O'Callahan family of Medford, there are six children : Mary, Patrick, the identical twins Rory and Maile, Kathleen, and Kevin. Did I forget someone ? Oh, yes, a seventh - Edward, called Teddy by everyone else, although the twins jokingly refer to him as John Thomas behind his back as he is seven years (!) behind the next youngest sibling. Teddy is the caboose of the family, or more appropriately, the Catholic Accident, as his birth was something of a surprise (i.e., unplanned).

by Virgin Suicides April 17, 2017

bspsi

abbreviation for bullshit per square inch. The United States usually outpaces the world in this category, especially so since Donald Trump discovered Twitter.

Message recently seen on t-shirt : Welcome To America. More bspsi Than Even North Korea. Just Wait - We're About To Start A War Over It.

by Virgin Suicides November 29, 2017

Karen

A meme derived from a joke Dane Cook told sometime in the early 'teens or so. It went viral and since then, no parent in the western hemisphere would dare touch it as a possible name for their newborn daughter.

Young Girl : Mommy, why didn't you name me Karen ?
Mom : Dear, what's wrong with Deuteronomy Lips ? Is this a Boy Named Sue thing ?
Young Girl : No, it's not ! In fact, I happen to LOVE the name Karen ! I think I'm going to sue you and Dad both for not naming me properly ! Hah ! 😛
Mom : Oh, f****in' s**t, you are a Karen ! 😖😫🥵

by Virgin Suicides April 3, 2024

left bank cowboy

the peculiar yet somewhat predictable transformation certain young American celebrities experience upon going Continental (i.e., living or working in Europe). Akin to drugstore cowboy.

American actress Kristen Stewart has now made not one, but two, yes two, French films. Probably on the advice of her agents and handlers she has subsequently done the following :

1) shaved her head (like Sinead O'Connor);

2) dyed it blonde (like Annie Lennox);

3) and entered what appears to be her first serious lesbian/same sex relationship (like any number of American female expats of the last century).

I suspect before long she will also be sporting a Parisian accent, opening a salon, quoting Baudelaire, Cocteau, and Satre' incessantly, and complaining endlessly about all those bourgeoise, materialistic Americans who care only for money and nothing for art. Like Gwyneth Paltrow and so many others before, Kristen Stewart has become a left bank cowboy.

by Virgin Suicides May 5, 2017

suck my ex-dick

What Caitlyn Jenner yells at hecklers, harassers, paparazzi and anyone else who generally pisses her off.

Photographer : Hey Caitlyn, turn around so I can stick this camera down your cleavage and take a picture !
Caitlyn (sneering) : Hey, suck my ex-dick !!!

by Virgin Suicides November 1, 2017

man boobs

what often happens to men who workout with barbells, dumbbells, free weights, nautilus, et al over long periods of time. The testosterone enzyme increases with the added muscle mass they develop, but so do their estrogen levels to keep a proper balance, such that they develop breasts (and buttocks) akin to females who produce this enzyme naturally.

Tina : I would date Bruce, but he has such noticeable man boobs from all those years of working out. And now they sag somewhat - gross !
Me : sez you ! You're as old as he is, and your boobs are beginning to sag, too.
Tina : yes, but mine are natural - and I wear a bra.

Me : well, buy him a bra, too and when you both are having sex, just make sure he wears it .

by Virgin Suicides May 11, 2017