Virgin Suicides's definitions

man boobs

what often happens to men who workout with barbells, dumbbells, free weights, nautilus, et al over long periods of time. The testosterone enzyme increases with the added muscle mass they develop, but so do their estrogen levels to keep a proper balance, such that they develop breasts (and buttocks) akin to females who produce this enzyme naturally.

Tina : I would date Bruce, but he has such noticeable man boobs from all those years of working out. And now they sag somewhat - gross !
Me : sez you ! You're as old as he is, and your boobs are beginning to sag, too.
Tina : yes, but mine are natural - and I wear a bra.

Me : well, buy him a bra, too and when you both are having sex, just make sure he wears it .

by Virgin Suicides May 11, 2017

suck my ex-dick

What Caitlyn Jenner yells at hecklers, harassers, paparazzi and anyone else who generally pisses her off.

Photographer : Hey Caitlyn, turn around so I can stick this camera down your cleavage and take a picture !
Caitlyn (sneering) : Hey, suck my ex-dick !!!

by Virgin Suicides November 1, 2017

left bank cowboy

the peculiar yet somewhat predictable transformation certain young American celebrities experience upon going Continental (i.e., living or working in Europe). Akin to drugstore cowboy.

American actress Kristen Stewart has now made not one, but two, yes two, French films. Probably on the advice of her agents and handlers she has subsequently done the following :

1) shaved her head (like Sinead O'Connor);

2) dyed it blonde (like Annie Lennox);

3) and entered what appears to be her first serious lesbian/same sex relationship (like any number of American female expats of the last century).

I suspect before long she will also be sporting a Parisian accent, opening a salon, quoting Baudelaire, Cocteau, and Satre' incessantly, and complaining endlessly about all those bourgeoise, materialistic Americans who care only for money and nothing for art. Like Gwyneth Paltrow and so many others before, Kristen Stewart has become a left bank cowboy.

by Virgin Suicides May 5, 2017

the somebodies of yesterday are the nobodies of today

most celebrity athletes, entertainers, personalities, politicians who achieved the bulk of their success the other side of the millennium (i.e., the 20th Century).

Think about it. How many late 20th Century celebrities are still in the public eye today ? Not many, right ? The somebodies of yesterday are the nobodies of today ...

by Virgin Suicides September 27, 2017

bspsi

abbreviation for bullshit per square inch. The United States usually outpaces the world in this category, especially so since Donald Trump discovered Twitter.

Message recently seen on t-shirt : Welcome To America. More bspsi Than Even North Korea. Just Wait - We're About To Start A War Over It.

by Virgin Suicides November 29, 2017

Karen

A meme derived from a joke Dane Cook told sometime in the early 'teens or so. It went viral and since then, no parent in the western hemisphere would dare touch it as a possible name for their newborn daughter.

Young Girl : Mommy, why didn't you name me Karen ?
Mom : Dear, what's wrong with Deuteronomy Lips ? Is this a Boy Named Sue thing ?
Young Girl : No, it's not ! In fact, I happen to LOVE the name Karen ! I think I'm going to sue you and Dad both for not naming me properly ! Hah ! 😛
Mom : Oh, f****in' s**t, you are a Karen ! 😖😫🥵

by Virgin Suicides April 3, 2024

big haired ladies of the 'eighties

all those grand and glorious hairstyles women of that era publicly sported - without shame or embarrassment, evidently - only to find themselves forever running scared (especially from new husbands, new boyfriends or partners) of any or all damning photo evidence of such "unfortunate fashion choices" ever seeing the light of day.

New Girlfriend : Ha-ha ! Your mother showed me your high school graduation photo the other day. Boy, did you sport QUITE the mullet back in the day ! What - making certain your football helmet fit nice and snug ? LOL
Me : Sez you ! Have you forgotten what YOU looked like ? Judging from YOUR grad photo, I thought you were one of the Bangles or maybe Sara Jessica Parker's stunt double from 'Square Pegs'.
New Girlfriend : Eeeeeewwwwwww !!!!!! You actually SAW it ?! OMFG - I thought I had burned every known copy of that horrid pic ! Now you'll probably break up with me knowing I once ever looked like that ! I'm cursed, Cursed, CURSED !!!
Me : Big haired ladies of the 'eighties ! LOL

by Virgin Suicides August 13, 2017