Virgin Suicides's definitions

tit shop

the clinic for plastic surgeons specializing in breast enhancement procedures.

Gina : say Carla, I'm feeling a bit flat in the chest area, let's go to the tit shop and buy us some boobs !
Carla: Great ! I hear they're having a special this month, too ' buy two boobs, get a third free'. Guess that's just in case one deflates or falls off or something.

Gina : Awesome !

by Virgin Suicides April 23, 2017

that's gay

stupid, sophomoric, reflexive response used by countless dull witted boobs who, in their many years on this planet, have yet to increase their vocabularies much less their minds (or hearts).

Me : Awwwww ... Chris Cornell of Soundgarden was found dead yesterday. Mannnnn ... (sorrow)
Dipshit Standing Next To Me : huh, that's gay

Me : WHA ? WTF - are you still in high school or somethin' ? That's your response ?

Dispshit Standing Next To Me : Eat Me
Me : No - up yours, fucktard. Guess YOU won't be getting a genius grant from the MacArthur fellowship anytime soon.

by Virgin Suicides May 20, 2017

the somebodies of yesterday are the nobodies of today

most celebrity athletes, entertainers, personalities, politicians who achieved the bulk of their success the other side of the millennium (i.e., the 20th Century).

Think about it. How many late 20th Century celebrities are still in the public eye today ? Not many, right ? The somebodies of yesterday are the nobodies of today ...

by Virgin Suicides September 27, 2017

half jacked-off

a synonym for half-assed, half baked, et al. Usually used to render scorn on a famous person/celebrity who, for all their glitter, charisma and talent really puts forth a miserable effort in said situation.

Ben Affleck's cinematic efforts of late have been generally of the half jacked-off variety.

by Virgin Suicides June 16, 2017

man boobs

what often happens to men who workout with barbells, dumbbells, free weights, nautilus, et al over long periods of time. The testosterone enzyme increases with the added muscle mass they develop, but so do their estrogen levels to keep a proper balance, such that they develop breasts (and buttocks) akin to females who produce this enzyme naturally.

Tina : I would date Bruce, but he has such noticeable man boobs from all those years of working out. And now they sag somewhat - gross !
Me : sez you ! You're as old as he is, and your boobs are beginning to sag, too.
Tina : yes, but mine are natural - and I wear a bra.

Me : well, buy him a bra, too and when you both are having sex, just make sure he wears it .

by Virgin Suicides May 11, 2017

suck my ex-dick

What Caitlyn Jenner yells at hecklers, harassers, paparazzi and anyone else who generally pisses her off.

Photographer : Hey Caitlyn, turn around so I can stick this camera down your cleavage and take a picture !
Caitlyn (sneering) : Hey, suck my ex-dick !!!

by Virgin Suicides November 1, 2017

left bank cowboy

the peculiar yet somewhat predictable transformation certain young American celebrities experience upon going Continental (i.e., living or working in Europe). Akin to drugstore cowboy.

American actress Kristen Stewart has now made not one, but two, yes two, French films. Probably on the advice of her agents and handlers she has subsequently done the following :

1) shaved her head (like Sinead O'Connor);

2) dyed it blonde (like Annie Lennox);

3) and entered what appears to be her first serious lesbian/same sex relationship (like any number of American female expats of the last century).

I suspect before long she will also be sporting a Parisian accent, opening a salon, quoting Baudelaire, Cocteau, and Satre' incessantly, and complaining endlessly about all those bourgeoise, materialistic Americans who care only for money and nothing for art. Like Gwyneth Paltrow and so many others before, Kristen Stewart has become a left bank cowboy.

by Virgin Suicides May 5, 2017