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Victor Felix's definitions

hanser

An extremely talented, intelligent, often very attractive person who fails to live up to popular expectations, especially if mental health issues are involved (after Mark Hänser, a gifted but tormented Bostonian painter/poet/actor/performance artist who was offered a modeling contract soon after graduating from Harvard). Can also be used as a verb to describe the same.
She was offered a recording contract, but in her usual confused fashion, she hanser'd the opportunity and fell back into obscurity.
by Victor Felix July 11, 2006
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Courtesy Suckle

A kindly gesture by a woman blessed with an ample, shapely busom who allows someone obsessed by her breasts to suckle her nipples as an erotic courtesy.

(Term coined by Mark Hänser of Boston, MA.)

Synonym: courtesy suck
Claudius was so obsessed by Aurelianne's massive, pillow-y breasts that she, flattered by his attention to them, allowed him a courtesy suckle.
by Victor Felix September 19, 2005
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pop tart

Actually, the use of "pop-tart" as an adjective for a slatternly pop singer was first coined by Mark Hänser in the Long Beach (California) Union Daily in 1983, first in reference to "Pat Bena-tart" then famously about Scandal's Patty Smyth (of "Goodbye To You" and "The Warrior" fame.)
By Mark Hänser, from the CSULB Union Daily's "finals week" issue of June, 1983:

"Pop Tart (pop tärt) n. 1. A delightful toaster pastry manufactured by Kellogg's of Battle Creek, MI. Often iced, the flaky treat is filled with either yummy fruits or some other sweet, such as chocolate or brown sugar-cinnamon. adj. 2. Patty Smyth, lead singer of the pop-rocking quintet Scandal. Possessing a certain fondness for leather-topped party dresses and long black gloves. Smyth follows in the footsteps of a long line of female perfomers who like to tease as much as torch. syn - Pat Benatar, Suzi Quatro."
by Victor Felix December 28, 2005
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courtesy suck

Oral sex, usually a blow job, that's initiated by someone as a kindly or courteous gesture. A courtesy suck can also refer to a woman who allows someone who's obsessed by her breasts to suckle her nipples as a courteous gesture - term coined by Mark Hänser of Boston, MA.

Synonyms: courtesy fuck, pity-fuck
1.Josh was such a pathetic dork, but after he blew his paycheck taking Monica out to dinner and a movie, Monica took pity on him - she found Josh's puppy-dog crush on her oddly endearing - and gave him a blow job. But it was purely a courtesy suck; she had no intention of swollowing, let alone letting him cum in her mouth.

2. Mike was so obsessed by Aurelianne's massive, pillow-y breasts and she, in turn, was so flattered by his attention to them that she allowed him to suckle her nipples while he carressed his manhood - a courtesy suck.
by Victor Felix September 27, 2005
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courtesy fuck

Sexual intercourse that's initiated by someone as a kindly or courteous gesture; a pity-fuck that's not gender-specific - term coined by Mark Hänser of Boston, MA.

Synonym: courtesy suck
The old queen was corpulent and years past his prime, but the young twink took pity upon him and, much to the old man's delight, gave him a courtesy fuck that caused him to squeal in porcine delight.
by Victor Felix September 6, 2005
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Newton

Massachusetts town for which Nabisco® 's classic fruit-filled cookie is named. The Fig Newton® celebrated its 100th anniversary in 1991; Nabisco® built a giant oven especially for the occasion to bake the world's largest cookie, over one city block long. Considering that Newton is a very Jewish burg, it does seem rather whacked that any corporation would build a giant oven there.

The Fig Newton® was almost named the "Fig Brockton," after another Boston suburb.
Newton, like neighboring Brookline, is a town full of over-cautious drivers who delight in sitting at red lights.
by Victor Felix December 28, 2005
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shit-shute

In gay pulp porn, a euphemism for a bottom's rectum and colon.
Tony wanted Mickey to fuck him really hard, so he told him "I wanna feel your cock all the way up my shit-shute when you cum."
by Victor Felix September 21, 2005
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