26 definitions by Urban humor
The excuse you are given when your significant other doesn’t want to have sex and has run out of all other excuses.
Him: How about we go to bed and get busy?
Her: We shouldn’t because the government issued a mandate on sexual distancing and I don’t want to run the risk of hurting you.
Him: That is total BS.
Her: We shouldn’t because the government issued a mandate on sexual distancing and I don’t want to run the risk of hurting you.
Him: That is total BS.
by Urban humor March 18, 2020
Bob: Hurricane Matthew is a Cat 4 coming our way!
Tom: I know, but it's coming back for some Hurricane Anal as a 2!
Tom: I know, but it's coming back for some Hurricane Anal as a 2!
by Urban humor October 6, 2016
Trump: I had a hole-in-one today
Ivanka: You didn't play golf today daddy
Trump: I had 3 hole-in-ones today and one was on a par 6 and it skipped through the water before it hit a democrat in the head going through his brain and went in the hole
Ivanka: So you played Trump Golf again!
Ivanka: You didn't play golf today daddy
Trump: I had 3 hole-in-ones today and one was on a par 6 and it skipped through the water before it hit a democrat in the head going through his brain and went in the hole
Ivanka: So you played Trump Golf again!
by Urban humor August 24, 2017
Carol: I finally hooked up with Bob and he has a Trumpis.
Cindy: I'm sorry, did he try to tell you it was over an inch long?
Carol: yes, and then he said it was Bigly!
Cindy: I'm sorry, did he try to tell you it was over an inch long?
Carol: yes, and then he said it was Bigly!
by Urban humor June 27, 2017
gary: I really hurt my wrist this morning.
Sheila: what happened?
Gary: I took a bad poop and tried to wipe too fast. Now I've got wipelash!
Sheila: what happened?
Gary: I took a bad poop and tried to wipe too fast. Now I've got wipelash!
by Urban humor August 12, 2017
I had Mexican for dinner last night and within 2 hours I was sitting in the bathroom Painting the Porcelain. Why don't they just make toilets in brown?
by Urban humor May 23, 2017
A device found in upscale restaurants and homes for the purpose of male masturbation and the "catching of the jizz"
We had dinner at a 5 Star steak restaurant and it was so good when I finished I had to use the jizinal to release my pleasure!
by Urban humor September 24, 2015