Uncle Gary's Potato Farm's definitions

Crapple Bobbing

After receiving a blumpkin, in one lightning fast motion, hop up and shove the persons head into the shit filled toilet resembling a game of apple bobbing.

Dude: My chick gave me a blumpkin last night.

Friend: Did you also jam her face into your shit and make her go crapple bobbing?

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 26, 2017

The Blue Falcum

The act of shoving a blueberry or 6 up your wiener hole, jacking off and firing a nice hot chunky blue load all over your hoe.

Big Easy: Yo bro, you see the new Avengers trailer with The Blue Falcon?

Tyrant: Nope, but I did shove 14 blueberries in my peepee hole before I banged this chick at the bar last night and pulled out and gave her The Blue Falcum.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm July 5, 2019

Third Party Bed Wetting

This is a term that describes someone who thinks they wet the bed, when in fact they did not. This typically happens when a couple who are completely obliterated have sex. The male has most likely been holding in piss like his bladder was the Hoover Dam and right at the climax, he has no control of the floods and fills his partner with semen and urine. He then rolls over and is out cold in seconds. The female, who is also drunk, has no idea he went number 1 inside her and also rolls over to go to sleep. She wakes up hours later in a puddle of piss that was not hers.

Big Easy: Dude, last night was a train wreck. My wife keeps apologizing to me for wetting the bed but she really didn't.

Tyrant: Not following you there bud.

Big Easy: I think I pissed insider her last night and didn't want to tell her.

Tyrant. Well you can't ever tell her about the third party bed wetting.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm February 22, 2019

Colorado Cliffhanger

The process of when the semen from a freshly ejaculated penis never actually separates itself from the semen in the urethra, leaving the portion of semen that escaped dangling loosely in space and unable to be claimed as a "cum-shot." This is common with men who are dealing with dehydration or the common cold.

Man: Dude the weirdest thing happened to me last night.

Friend: Go on...

Man: I was drilling this chick and pulled out to spray her in the eyeball and my load never left my dick!

Friend: Ahhhh the ole Colorado Cliffhanger!

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 28, 2017

Automobate

To masturbate while driving an automobile. Sometimes you just have to get rid of a rager that just won't go away and you know you will not have the opportunity to do so at the destination location, so you just fire one away on the turn pike.

Tyrant: I hate working this late shifts. It's hard to stay awake on the ride home and I am too tired to bone my gf when I get home.

Big Easy: Dude, you should automobate man. Fire your load on the ride home. Nothing keeps you awake like jackin' the ole pecker doing 85 next to a tractor trailer at midnight.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm March 5, 2019

Loag

The act of firing of a hot load while dropping a log.

Ant: You won't believe me but my girl gave me a blumpkin last night.

Me: Good for you. My girl is a twat waffle and won't do that so I have to loag on the toilet to simulate.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm January 17, 2019

Moleincest

The act of putting your penis into your own ass (or vagina in the rare case your are born with both) and pounding away against your own will.

Man: (sobbing) I got moleincested last night.

Friend: What does that mean? What happened?

Man: Well, last night I was really drunk and passed out. Woke up to me drilling my own asshole.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 7, 2017