Uncle Gary's Potato Farm's definitions

Crapple Bobbing

After receiving a blumpkin, in one lightning fast motion, hop up and shove the persons head into the shit filled toilet resembling a game of apple bobbing.

Dude: My chick gave me a blumpkin last night.

Friend: Did you also jam her face into your shit and make her go crapple bobbing?

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm May 26, 2017

Colorado Cliffhanger

The process of when the semen from a freshly ejaculated penis never actually separates itself from the semen in the urethra, leaving the portion of semen that escaped dangling loosely in space and unable to be claimed as a "cum-shot." This is common with men who are dealing with dehydration or the common cold.

Man: Dude the weirdest thing happened to me last night.

Friend: Go on...

Man: I was drilling this chick and pulled out to spray her in the eyeball and my load never left my dick!

Friend: Ahhhh the ole Colorado Cliffhanger!

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm April 28, 2017

The Blue Falcum

The act of shoving a blueberry or 6 up your wiener hole, jacking off and firing a nice hot chunky blue load all over your hoe.

Big Easy: Yo bro, you see the new Avengers trailer with The Blue Falcon?

Tyrant: Nope, but I did shove 14 blueberries in my peepee hole before I banged this chick at the bar last night and pulled out and gave her The Blue Falcum.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm July 5, 2019

Queef Stroganoff

The act of basically inhaling a vaginal belch while munching on some carpet.

Stoney: does your hoe queef when your pounding her?

Big Easy: all the time man. The worst is when she does it when I eat her out.

Stoney: We’ve all had our fair share of queef stroganoff.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm January 27, 2019

Cumlesterol

Cumlesterol is the buildup of jizz in your dick hole. High cumlesterol results from excessive nutting whether it be from sex or pumping off, and a portion of sperm continues to remain in the urethra and not be sprayed out.

Dude: Question. After you beat off, is it hard for you to take a piss afterwards?

Friend: I spank my meat so much, it is hard for me to piss at any given time from my high cumlesterol levels.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm June 22, 2017

Heard it threw the rapevine

When your friend, roommate, sibling, offspring, etc...are so drunk or high, they sound like they are getting raped while they masturbate in the other room.

Tyrant: yo, i just bought you a rape kit on amazon prime. I don’t know how you are feeling, but it’s the least I could do. I’m sorry.

Big Easy: the f you talking about?

Tyrant: I know you got raped last night. I heard it threw the rapevine.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm November 16, 2019

Jizzors

Referring to Scissors, which specific design is to cut objects, jizzors refers to somebody's sperm that is so potent, whether it be from eating to many citric foods, or from certain medicines, or from too much liquor intake, that when it hits the victim, it starts to cut through their flesh. These cumshots are very common in or around the pussy & asshole, the tits, the back, and the eyelids.

Tyrant: You ever notice how that one partner in our firm eats like 8 oranges a day? I wonder if he ever gets jizzors?

Big Easy: Have you seen his wife? She has welds all over her face. It's like he is melting a candle overtop of her.

by Uncle Gary's Potato Farm July 26, 2019