Two Hep Cats's definitions

videophart

An unstoppable video that begins on a Web page, no matter what your browser settings for video auto-play are, and can only be stopped manually. The most insidious versions can't be stopped at all.

CNN has started using videopharts. Doesn't matter how you set your browser, they load and begin playing automatically until you manually shut them off.

by Two Hep Cats June 23, 2017

Milch Cow Theory

The theory that the 99% exist only to serve the needs of the wealthiest 1%, as if the majority of people are simply cows to be milked.

The modus operandi of Fox News demonstrates that Rupert Murdoch subscribes to the Milch Cow Theory.

by Two Hep Cats January 7, 2012

Aspirin between my knees

To make some phenomenal gaffe or faux pas, similar to putting your foot in your mouth.

Man, I really put the aspirin between my knees yesterday. I told Jen that her new dress made her look fat.

by Two Hep Cats April 19, 2012

Postaholic

An attention-seeker who compulsively, addictively blogs or posts to a social networking site many times a day.

Sarah's a postaholic. Six, seven times a day she pathetically pukes out where she is, what she's eating, what she's watching on TV. Who gives a flying fork?

by Two Hep Cats July 10, 2011

holey relic

An old and worn-out, but cherished, piece of clothing.

Don't you dare throw out my AC/DC t-shirt. It's a holey relic!

by Two Hep Cats September 30, 2012

Theory of Maximum Foolishness

The world will arrange itself to make you--personally--feel maximally foolish.

Murphy's Law is a subset of the Theory of Maximum Foolishness. ML says "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." Often, that is true. However, the TOMF says that if something can go RIGHT that would make you look MORE foolish, then that is what will happen.

For example, ML predicts that bread will always fall butter-side down. But, if I TELL YOU it will fall butter-side down, when I go to actually SHOW YOU, the bread will fall butter-side up, making me feel maximally foolish.

The TOMF is true, but neither verifiable nor falsifiable to others because, whatever conditions you establish to test it, only YOU will know if the result made you feel maximally foolish. Of course it will, but only you will know that.

by Two Hep Cats October 16, 2009

Overbooking

Overposting on Facebook. An ego disorder leading people to believe their friends want to hear from them more than once or twice a week.

Dude, I'm totally progressive. But, when you Outrage-Post 19 political articles and videos in 3 hours--that's Overbooking!

by Two Hep Cats April 13, 2011