Postaholic

An attention-seeker who compulsively, addictively blogs or posts to a social networking site many times a day.

Sarah's a postaholic. Six, seven times a day she pathetically pukes out where she is, what she's eating, what she's watching on TV. Who gives a flying fork?

by Two Hep Cats July 10, 2011

Fido's Law

Dogs expand to fill the sofa available.

Mutt: Dude--I can't sit down. Your sofa's completely covered with dogs.

Jeff: Fido's Law, man.

by Two Hep Cats June 02, 2013

Theory of Maximum Foolishness

The world will arrange itself to make you--personally--feel maximally foolish.

Murphy's Law is a subset of the Theory of Maximum Foolishness. ML says "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." Often, that is true. However, the TOMF says that if something can go RIGHT that would make you look MORE foolish, then that is what will happen.

For example, ML predicts that bread will always fall butter-side down. But, if I TELL YOU it will fall butter-side down, when I go to actually SHOW YOU, the bread will fall butter-side up, making me feel maximally foolish.

The TOMF is true, but neither verifiable nor falsifiable to others because, whatever conditions you establish to test it, only YOU will know if the result made you feel maximally foolish. Of course it will, but only you will know that.

by Two Hep Cats October 17, 2009

skidmark

TV ad that stays onscreen during the entire program.

TV advertisers started with logo bugs, moved on to pharts and then graduated to skidmarks. Next, they'll move the program down to one corner of the screen and run continual ads over the remaining 90%.

by Two Hep Cats December 09, 2012

DonTcare

DONald Trump-Care. (pron. "Don-T-Care") The Republican "replacement" for Obamacare. Hey--it's the plan that doesn't give a shit about you, your health, or your bank account (except for emptying it and handing it over to rich folks).

I have no health insurance. I have DonTcare--"The Closest Thing to Nothing"

by Two Hep Cats March 16, 2017

Phoneto

A photograph taken with your smartphone.

I can't believe how good a phoneto you just uploaded. What kind of phone did you use to shoot it?

by Two Hep Cats July 16, 2011

oink

One Income, No Kids

My girlfriend says I'm a pig, but I'm truly an oink.

by Two Hep Cats September 19, 2012