Skip to main content

Two Hep Cats's definitions

Theory of Maximum Foolishness

The world will arrange itself to make you--personally--feel maximally foolish.
Murphy's Law is a subset of the Theory of Maximum Foolishness. ML says "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." Often, that is true. However, the TOMF says that if something can go RIGHT that would make you look MORE foolish, then that is what will happen.

For example, ML predicts that bread will always fall butter-side down. But, if I TELL YOU it will fall butter-side down, when I go to actually SHOW YOU, the bread will fall butter-side up, making me feel maximally foolish.

The TOMF is true, but neither verifiable nor falsifiable to others because, whatever conditions you establish to test it, only YOU will know if the result made you feel maximally foolish. Of course it will, but only you will know that.
by Two Hep Cats October 16, 2009
mugGet the Theory of Maximum Foolishness mug.

Postaholic

An attention-seeker who compulsively, addictively blogs or posts to a social networking site many times a day.
Sarah's a postaholic. Six, seven times a day she pathetically pukes out where she is, what she's eating, what she's watching on TV. Who gives a flying fork?
by Two Hep Cats July 10, 2011
mugGet the Postaholic mug.

Phart

One of those smelly little "silent-but-deadly" ads that pops up in one corner of the TV screen 30 seconds into the program, after you've already endured 5 minutes of regular ads.
AMC used to be a great channel until they started pharting.
by Two Hep Cats October 10, 2009
mugGet the Phart mug.

deranged

What happens to vaqueros who leave the prairie too quickly.
Jorge galloped off the ranch an' got hisself deranged. Boy's brain was plumb pasturized. Too mas loco weed, pendejo.
by Two Hep Cats January 4, 2013
mugGet the deranged mug.

Texbook

Any school textbook that filters reality through a fancifully enthusiastic neo-conservative agenda.
Copping a page from the Iranian Playbook, the Texas Board of Education removed Thomas Jefferson from Texbooks because he believed in the separation of church and state.
by Two Hep Cats March 17, 2010
mugGet the Texbook mug.

asstorrhoid

A hemorrhoid the size of a meteor. And twice as hot.
I can't go horseback riding with you tomorrow, dude.

Why not?

Asstorrhoids.
by Two Hep Cats October 30, 2010
mugGet the asstorrhoid mug.

Milch Cow Theory

The theory that the 99% exist only to serve the needs of the wealthiest 1%, as if the majority of people are simply cows to be milked.
The modus operandi of Fox News demonstrates that Rupert Murdoch subscribes to the Milch Cow Theory.
by Two Hep Cats January 7, 2012
mugGet the Milch Cow Theory mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email