Two Hep Cats's definitions

Phart

One of those smelly little "silent-but-deadly" ads that pops up in one corner of the TV screen 30 seconds into the program, after you've already endured 5 minutes of regular ads.

AMC used to be a great channel until they started pharting.

by Two Hep Cats October 10, 2009

deranged

What happens to vaqueros who leave the prairie too quickly.

Jorge galloped off the ranch an' got hisself deranged. Boy's brain was plumb pasturized. Too mas loco weed, pendejo.

by Two Hep Cats January 4, 2013

Texbook

Any school textbook that filters reality through a fancifully enthusiastic neo-conservative agenda.

Copping a page from the Iranian Playbook, the Texas Board of Education removed Thomas Jefferson from Texbooks because he believed in the separation of church and state.

by Two Hep Cats March 17, 2010

asstorrhoid

A hemorrhoid the size of a meteor. And twice as hot.

I can't go horseback riding with you tomorrow, dude.

Why not?

Asstorrhoids.

by Two Hep Cats October 30, 2010

oink

One Income, No Kids

My girlfriend says I'm a pig, but I'm truly an oink.

by Two Hep Cats September 18, 2012

Milch Cow Theory

The theory that the 99% exist only to serve the needs of the wealthiest 1%, as if the majority of people are simply cows to be milked.

The modus operandi of Fox News demonstrates that Rupert Murdoch subscribes to the Milch Cow Theory.

by Two Hep Cats January 7, 2012

Aspirin between my knees

To make some phenomenal gaffe or faux pas, similar to putting your foot in your mouth.

Man, I really put the aspirin between my knees yesterday. I told Jen that her new dress made her look fat.

by Two Hep Cats April 19, 2012