Two Hep Cats's definitions

DonTcare

DONald Trump-Care. (pron. "Don-T-Care") The Republican "replacement" for Obamacare. Hey--it's the plan that doesn't give a shit about you, your health, or your bank account (except for emptying it and handing it over to rich folks).

I have no health insurance. I have DonTcare--"The Closest Thing to Nothing"

by Two Hep Cats March 25, 2017

Fido's Law

Dogs expand to fill the sofa available.

Mutt: Dude--I can't sit down. Your sofa's completely covered with dogs.

Jeff: Fido's Law, man.

by Two Hep Cats June 2, 2013

Dinero Deficit Disorder

Deep depression caused by chronic lack of money.

My shrink says I have Dinero Deficit Disorder. I went broke paying him for therapy.

by Two Hep Cats November 20, 2010

holey relic

An old and worn-out, but cherished, piece of clothing.

Don't you dare throw out my AC/DC t-shirt. It's a holey relic!

by Two Hep Cats September 30, 2012

Postaholic

An attention-seeker who compulsively, addictively blogs or posts to a social networking site many times a day.

Sarah's a postaholic. Six, seven times a day she pathetically pukes out where she is, what she's eating, what she's watching on TV. Who gives a flying fork?

by Two Hep Cats July 10, 2011

videophart

An unstoppable video that begins on a Web page, no matter what your browser settings for video auto-play are, and can only be stopped manually. The most insidious versions can't be stopped at all.

CNN has started using videopharts. Doesn't matter how you set your browser, they load and begin playing automatically until you manually shut them off.

by Two Hep Cats June 23, 2017

Theory of Maximum Foolishness

The world will arrange itself to make you--personally--feel maximally foolish.

Murphy's Law is a subset of the Theory of Maximum Foolishness. ML says "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." Often, that is true. However, the TOMF says that if something can go RIGHT that would make you look MORE foolish, then that is what will happen.

For example, ML predicts that bread will always fall butter-side down. But, if I TELL YOU it will fall butter-side down, when I go to actually SHOW YOU, the bread will fall butter-side up, making me feel maximally foolish.

The TOMF is true, but neither verifiable nor falsifiable to others because, whatever conditions you establish to test it, only YOU will know if the result made you feel maximally foolish. Of course it will, but only you will know that.

by Two Hep Cats October 16, 2009