videophart

An unstoppable video that begins on a Web page, no matter what your browser settings for video auto-play are, and can only be stopped manually. The most insidious versions can't be stopped at all.
CNN has started using videopharts. Doesn't matter how you set your browser, they load and begin playing automatically until you manually shut them off.
by Two Hep Cats June 23, 2017
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holey relic

An old and worn-out, but cherished, piece of clothing.
Don't you dare throw out my AC/DC t-shirt. It's a holey relic!
by Two Hep Cats September 30, 2012
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asstorrhoid

A hemorrhoid the size of a meteor. And twice as hot.
I can't go horseback riding with you tomorrow, dude.

Why not?

Asstorrhoids.
by Two Hep Cats October 30, 2010
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deranged

What happens to vaqueros who leave the prairie too quickly.
Jorge galloped off the ranch an' got hisself deranged. Boy's brain was plumb pasturized. Too mas loco weed, pendejo.
by Two Hep Cats January 05, 2013
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Texbook

Any school textbook that filters reality through a fancifully enthusiastic neo-conservative agenda.
Copping a page from the Iranian Playbook, the Texas Board of Education removed Thomas Jefferson from Texbooks because he believed in the separation of church and state.
by Two Hep Cats March 17, 2010
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The Knecht Effect

The Knecht Effect describes the statistical certainty that, if one has many possessions, at least one will always be in a state of disrepair. In other words -- something always needs fixing. The underlying math is simple, being based on expansion of the binomial (a + b)^n, where "a" represents the probability of something being in good working order, "b" is the probability of it needing to be fixed (note that a + b = 1.0), and "n" is the number of possessions one owns.

(named after the research psychologist, William R. Knecht (pronounced like "connect"), who first noted the phenomenon)
As I got older, I became a victim of the Knecht Effect. I owned so much stuff that at least one thing was always broken, and I was spending half my life getting stuff fixed.
by Two Hep Cats April 22, 2022
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Aspirin between my knees

To make some phenomenal gaffe or faux pas, similar to putting your foot in your mouth.
Man, I really put the aspirin between my knees yesterday. I told Jen that her new dress made her look fat.
by Two Hep Cats February 18, 2012
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