Tom Cerveaux's definitions

Don't shit where you eat

This expression refers to doing anything that would jeopardize something important or essential to you. A common example of shitting where one eats is engaging in a romantic affair with a co-worker, but lying to your roommate or stealing from friends also fits this expression.

Local Bike Shop Mechanic #1: "Can you believe that guy? I've hooked him up dozens of times, but after the tantrum he just threw, I'll never take a dime off a part for him again."

LBS Mechanic #2: "Seriously. Hasn't he ever heard? Don't shit where you eat."

by Tom Cerveaux February 8, 2010

lion food

1. A Christian
2. Christians, collectively

Origin: Ancient Romans discovered that Christians make very entertaining meals for jungle cats, typically a lion. To this day, it's still the best thing to do with someone that believes that the allegedly historical figure Jesus Christ is the son of the alleged God.

1. I don't go to church because I'm not lion food.

2. Lion food has too much influence in American politics.

by Tom Cerveaux February 18, 2010

stabby

-adj. describing feelings of hostility or mean temper, usually related to misfortune or high stress. Originates from the fact the stabbing someone or something seems unusually rational when one is in a stabby mood.

Child rearing can make an overworked mom feel downright stabby. Don't tell CPS (child protective services).

by Tom Cerveaux January 26, 2010

STV

Sexually Transmitted Vegetarianism or Veganism

1. - n. - the conversion of a meat eater to herbivore status at the prompting of the meat eater's new boyfriend or girlfriend

2. - n. - the conversion of a meat eater to herbivore status in the hopes of establishing a romantic encounter with a decided vegetarian or vegan

1.

Meat Eater: "Yo, let's a grab a steak. My treat."
New Vegan: "Sorry dude. No steak for me. My new girlfriend would kill me if she could taste cow on me."
Meat Eater: "Wow. I never thought you'd catch an STV."

2.
Vegan Guy: "So, how long have you been a vegan?"
Fresh Vegan Convert: "Uh...about 2 days, I guess."
Vegan Guy: "That's when you met me! Did I give you an STV?"

by Tom Cerveaux January 26, 2010

tarted up

1. - adj. - wearing an excessive amount of make up, a minimal amount of clothing; ostensibly for the purpose of luring a partner into the act of sexual intercourse. Usually reserved for females, but not as a rule.

"Let's skip the clubs tonight...I can't deal with that much tarted up jailbait."

by Tom Cerveaux January 26, 2010

de rigueur

As required by the fashion of the times. A hip requirement. When something achieves "the new black" status.

By simply poking my head into any of the nearby hipster bars, the frequency of pointy toed cow-girl boots firmly cements their status: de rigueur trendy footwear du jour.

by Tom Cerveaux September 23, 2006

pizza nasty

Combining the 'bad is good' essence of slang term nasty with the undeniable allure of pizza. As nasty as pizza. Anything enjoyable in the extreme. Also: Chunky.

Shit, dawg. You filthy with that yo-yo. I seen them tricks you doin', dawg, and that shit is tight, I mean, chunky fo reals. Straight pizza nasty. HELLA pizza nasty!

by Tom Cerveaux August 2, 2005