ToddUncommon's definitions

Branch Covidians

An apocalyptic, end-of-the-world death cult, Branch Covidians believe in the supremacy of "His Holiness the Douche Nozzle" Donald Trump, refuse to wear masks in the middle of a plague, threaten and commit violence against anyone protecting themselves against the corona virus, and basically won't stop until they burn their own house down with them inside. The name is borrowed from prior wackos during a community campfire in Waco, Texas in 1993.

Shopper #1: Who are those people walking through a Wal-Mart with a camcorder yelling to take off our masks?

Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.

by ToddUncommon October 6, 2020

Bagel-faced Dipshit

The 45th President of the United States of America.

Teacher: "Class, who is the current President of the US?"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"

by ToddUncommon March 20, 2020

COVID Barbie

COVID Barbie is the perfectly correct nickname for president Donald Trump's last and worst Press Secretary, Kayleighahghuh McEnany. Which is saying something, given that he started his administration with a combative midget, then used a profane lunatic for two weeks, and then settled on a quasi-female trans-Sloth from The Goonies for a spell. A wholly unqualified simpleton bimbo, she represents the perfect blend of blonde lies and cheap makeup that has earned the reputation of a plastic, mildly evil doll.

See also: COVID Karen, Wicket Witch

TV watcher: "Hey, did you see that Kayleigh McEnany said that she wouldn't lie, but has done it constantly since then?"

Bored person trying to not die of COVID: "Yeah. I just wish that COVID Barbie would fall into a fire and melt already."

by ToddUncommon November 18, 2020

Ke¢ha

The technically correct way to spell the name of the popular performer and expert on both the second-oldest and the oldest professions in the world: show business and prostitution, respectively.

Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.

Person A: "Did you see what that attention whore Ke¢ha wore on Jimmy Kimmel last night?"

Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."

Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."

by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011

Fapsbook

Another name for the world's foremost social networking circle-jerk website, where members expose themselves and flog and flagellate their most annoying parts for all to see, whether you like it or not.

Hey, did you see that Becky just 'liked' her own noonie on Fapsbook?

by ToddUncommon March 20, 2011

Trump Flu

The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.

"I just got back from a seniors' cruise, and I feel horrible. I think I may have caught Trump Flu!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

COVID Babies

Sick children, between the ages of 5 and 15, who are home due to school closures, playing online video games (like Fortnite) and audibly coughing, sniffling, and sneezing. See also #sweaty fever child

tiny voice "Ashhpplzz! *snif* Anybody got a mic? Helloo? *koff* *koff* Anyone got a mic? Nobody? *snif*"
older voice "Aww, another one of these COVID babies. I knew you were a sweat."

by ToddUncommon March 24, 2020