ToddUncommon's definitions

Ron DeathSentence

Ron DeathSentence is sometimes known as Ron DeSantis, the squinty-eyed, failed toilet brush salesman who became governor of Florida. Characterized by a desire to both go full douche and probe his own anus for signs of intelligence, he refuses to breathe the same air as his constituents, as he burns through his voters like logs on a campfire.

Ron DeathSentence enjoys killing his own citizens with anti-mask, anti-vaccine, and anti-intelligence policies with equal measures of arrogance and cowardice.

by ToddUncommon September 3, 2021

touch pee-pee

Applied to soccer, it occurs when one or more players of the same team is playing unintelligently or inattentively, such as dribbling aimlessly in their backfield, as young children may idly play with their own or each other's genitals, regardless of gender.

It also can be applied in general to any activity where at least one person is blissfully but dangerously not paying attention to something critical.

Soccer: You two, stop playing touch pee-pee and move the ball up the field!

Life: Hey, you! Quit playing touch pee-pee and help me lift this into the truck!

by ToddUncommon June 29, 2010

Mankat Manor

Another name for the polygamist advocacy television program 'Sister Wives' airing on the TLC (a.k.a. Manimal Planet) basic cable network.

The show focuses on the exploits of its furry patriarchal leader, 'Cody', and his extended family in their above ground burrows in Utah and Nevada.

Other family members include: 'Janelle', the dominant female; 'Meri', the caring one; 'Christine', with some social problems; 'Robyn', the rebellious one; courageous little 'Shakespeare'; and thirteen (so far) naughty pups.

Person 1: "Hey, did you see the latest episode of Mankat Manor?"

Person 2: "No! I missed it. What happened?"

Person 1: "Well, Christine tried another burrow move, and Paedon almost died in the process. Aspyn got bit by a snake, and they had another run-in with the neighboring Yoder group."

by ToddUncommon March 23, 2011

silly o'clock

A time of morning (or night), usually between 3AM - 6AM in the local time zone that requires a person to interrupt normal sleep or waking patterns for often dubious reasons. Often used in reference to extremely early arrivals to airports, or to join business teleconference sessions with participants in multiple time zones. Also see stupid o'clock.

"I don't look so good because I had to be at work at silly o'clock this morning to join a videocon with our development office in Greece."

by ToddUncommon October 26, 2008

Uncertain Times

The mealy-mouthed, weasel-worded, chickenshit phrasing that brand advertising likes to believe is "reassuring" about massively negative global events, instead of using real words about what may be going on, like "pandemic" and/or "economic crisis" and/or "presidential incompetence".

Singular form: "(this) difficult time"

"In these "uncertain times", disposable toilet seat covers are more critical than ever, like airlines and vacation cruises. Remember, sometimes the only thing between you and a coronavirus droplet might be a Big Johnson Ass Gasket."

by ToddUncommon March 30, 2020

Fapsbook

Another name for the world's foremost social networking circle-jerk website, where members expose themselves and flog and flagellate their most annoying parts for all to see, whether you like it or not.

Hey, did you see that Becky just 'liked' her own noonie on Fapsbook?

by ToddUncommon March 20, 2011

burtation

A heightened state of anticipation (characterized as 'heavy'), especially before an awards presentation.

Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.

Well, a very, very heavay, uh heavy duweh...uh burtation tonight. We had a very darriss, darrision...but let's go ahead, terris taison dos cablit the had lapet.

by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011