ToddUncommon's definitions

Trump Flu

The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.

"I just got back from a seniors' cruise, and I feel horrible. I think I may have caught Trump Flu!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

Boomer Flu

The fully contracted flu illness brought on by exposure to coronavirus COVID-19. Since the most vulnerable people to the virus are the old, fat, and unwell, that puts Baby Boomers squarely in the cross-hairs of the pandemic. The disease is lethal to about 2% of all victims, but is lethal to at least 5% of any loser born before 1960, and higher if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, diabeetus, asthma, gout, goiters, conservative politics, or general stupidity. See also: Trump Flu

"I think nana may have come down with the Boomer Flu!"
"Why?"
"She's super sick, and she just got back from her Asian cruise and brought back all this dirty paper money!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

COVID Babies

Sick children, between the ages of 5 and 15, who are home due to school closures, playing online video games (like Fortnite) and audibly coughing, sniffling, and sneezing. See also #sweaty fever child

tiny voice "Ashhpplzz! *snif* Anybody got a mic? Helloo? *koff* *koff* Anyone got a mic? Nobody? *snif*"
older voice "Aww, another one of these COVID babies. I knew you were a sweat."

by ToddUncommon March 24, 2020

burtation

A heightened state of anticipation (characterized as 'heavy'), especially before an awards presentation.

Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.

Well, a very, very heavay, uh heavy duweh...uh burtation tonight. We had a very darriss, darrision...but let's go ahead, terris taison dos cablit the had lapet.

by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011

Uncertain Times

The mealy-mouthed, weasel-worded, chickenshit phrasing that brand advertising likes to believe is "reassuring" about massively negative global events, instead of using real words about what may be going on, like "pandemic" and/or "economic crisis" and/or "presidential incompetence".

Singular form: "(this) difficult time"

"In these "uncertain times", disposable toilet seat covers are more critical than ever, like airlines and vacation cruises. Remember, sometimes the only thing between you and a coronavirus droplet might be a Big Johnson Ass Gasket."

by ToddUncommon March 30, 2020

Fapsbook

Another name for the world's foremost social networking circle-jerk website, where members expose themselves and flog and flagellate their most annoying parts for all to see, whether you like it or not.

Hey, did you see that Becky just 'liked' her own noonie on Fapsbook?

by ToddUncommon March 20, 2011

Ke¢ha

The technically correct way to spell the name of the popular performer and expert on both the second-oldest and the oldest professions in the world: show business and prostitution, respectively.

Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.

Person A: "Did you see what that attention whore Ke¢ha wore on Jimmy Kimmel last night?"

Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."

Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."

by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011