ToddUncommon's definitions

Boomer Flu

The fully contracted flu illness brought on by exposure to coronavirus COVID-19. Since the most vulnerable people to the virus are the old, fat, and unwell, that puts Baby Boomers squarely in the cross-hairs of the pandemic. The disease is lethal to about 2% of all victims, but is lethal to at least 5% of any loser born before 1960, and higher if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, diabeetus, asthma, gout, goiters, conservative politics, or general stupidity. See also: Trump Flu

"I think nana may have come down with the Boomer Flu!"
"Why?"
"She's super sick, and she just got back from her Asian cruise and brought back all this dirty paper money!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

Trump Flu

The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.

"I just got back from a seniors' cruise, and I feel horrible. I think I may have caught Trump Flu!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

snake raper

Much like a worm burner, it is a ball struck with such great velocity along the surface of the ground that it would "brutally molest" or skin the length of a snake. Usually applied in golf or soccer.

That awful tee shot that still went 80 yards was a real snake raper.

by ToddUncommon June 29, 2010

Fapsbook

Another name for the world's foremost social networking circle-jerk website, where members expose themselves and flog and flagellate their most annoying parts for all to see, whether you like it or not.

Hey, did you see that Becky just 'liked' her own noonie on Fapsbook?

by ToddUncommon March 20, 2011

burtation

A heightened state of anticipation (characterized as 'heavy'), especially before an awards presentation.

Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.

Well, a very, very heavay, uh heavy duweh...uh burtation tonight. We had a very darriss, darrision...but let's go ahead, terris taison dos cablit the had lapet.

by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011

Branch Covidians

An apocalyptic, end-of-the-world death cult, Branch Covidians believe in the supremacy of "His Holiness the Douche Nozzle" Donald Trump, refuse to wear masks in the middle of a plague, threaten and commit violence against anyone protecting themselves against the corona virus, and basically won't stop until they burn their own house down with them inside. The name is borrowed from prior wackos during a community campfire in Waco, Texas in 1993.

Shopper #1: Who are those people walking through a Wal-Mart with a camcorder yelling to take off our masks?

Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.

by ToddUncommon October 6, 2020

touch pee-pee

Applied to soccer, it occurs when one or more players of the same team is playing unintelligently or inattentively, such as dribbling aimlessly in their backfield, as young children may idly play with their own or each other's genitals, regardless of gender.

It also can be applied in general to any activity where at least one person is blissfully but dangerously not paying attention to something critical.

Soccer: You two, stop playing touch pee-pee and move the ball up the field!

Life: Hey, you! Quit playing touch pee-pee and help me lift this into the truck!

by ToddUncommon June 29, 2010