19 definitions by ToddUncommon
Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.
"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"
by ToddUncommon April 8, 2020
Someone with a huge forehead - therefore making them a perfect target for a sniper.
See also: sniper's dream
See also: sniper's dream
"Nice shot, Max. That was over 3,000 meters!"
"Thank's bud. No big deal. It was easy, that target's huge melon was a real sniper's delight."
"Thank's bud. No big deal. It was easy, that target's huge melon was a real sniper's delight."
by ToddUncommon March 15, 2020
A heightened state of anticipation (characterized as 'heavy'), especially before an awards presentation.
Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.
Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.
Well, a very, very heavay, uh heavy duweh...uh burtation tonight. We had a very darriss, darrision...but let's go ahead, terris taison dos cablit the had lapet.
by ToddUncommon February 14, 2011
A time of morning (or night), usually between 3AM - 6AM in the local time zone that requires a person to interrupt normal sleep or waking patterns for often dubious reasons. Often used in reference to extremely early arrivals to airports, or to join business teleconference sessions with participants in multiple time zones. Also see stupid o'clock.
"I don't look so good because I had to be at work at silly o'clock this morning to join a videocon with our development office in Greece."
by ToddUncommon September 12, 2008
The technically correct way to spell the name of the popular performer and expert on both the second-oldest and the oldest professions in the world: show business and prostitution, respectively.
Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.
Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.
Person A: "Did you see what that attention whore Ke¢ha wore on Jimmy Kimmel last night?"
Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."
Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."
Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."
Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."
by ToddUncommon February 14, 2011
COVID Barbie is the perfectly correct nickname for president Donald Trump's last and worst Press Secretary, Kayleighahghuh McEnany. Which is saying something, given that he started his administration with a combative midget, then used a profane lunatic for two weeks, and then settled on a quasi-female trans-Sloth from The Goonies for a spell. A wholly unqualified simpleton bimbo, she represents the perfect blend of blonde lies and cheap makeup that has earned the reputation of a plastic, mildly evil doll.
See also: COVID Karen, Wicket Witch
See also: COVID Karen, Wicket Witch
TV watcher: "Hey, did you see that Kayleigh McEnany said that she wouldn't lie, but has done it constantly since then?"
Bored person trying to not die of COVID: "Yeah. I just wish that COVID Barbie would fall into a fire and melt already."
Bored person trying to not die of COVID: "Yeah. I just wish that COVID Barbie would fall into a fire and melt already."
by ToddUncommon November 18, 2020
An apocalyptic, end-of-the-world death cult, Branch Covidians believe in the supremacy of "His Holiness the Douche Nozzle" Donald Trump, refuse to wear masks in the middle of a plague, threaten and commit violence against anyone protecting themselves against the corona virus, and basically won't stop until they burn their own house down with them inside. The name is borrowed from prior wackos during a community campfire in Waco, Texas in 1993.
Shopper #1: Who are those people walking through a Wal-Mart with a camcorder yelling to take off our masks?
Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.
Shopper #2: Don't worry about them. They're a bunch of Branch Covidians; mostly children and incels.
by ToddUncommon October 6, 2020