Skip to main content

ToddUncommon's definitions

Fapsbook

Another name for the world's foremost social networking circle-jerk website, where members expose themselves and flog and flagellate their most annoying parts for all to see, whether you like it or not.
Hey, did you see that Becky just 'liked' her own noonie on Fapsbook?
by ToddUncommon March 20, 2011
mugGet the Fapsbookmug.

Ke¢ha

The technically correct way to spell the name of the popular performer and expert on both the second-oldest and the oldest professions in the world: show business and prostitution, respectively.

Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.
Person A: "Did you see what that attention whore Ke¢ha wore on Jimmy Kimmel last night?"

Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."

Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."
by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011
mugGet the Ke¢hamug.

Bagel-faced Dipshit

Teacher: "Class, who is the current President of the US?"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"
by ToddUncommon March 20, 2020
mugGet the Bagel-faced Dipshitmug.

Mankat Manor

Another name for the polygamist advocacy television program 'Sister Wives' airing on the TLC (a.k.a. Manimal Planet) basic cable network.

The show focuses on the exploits of its furry patriarchal leader, 'Cody', and his extended family in their above ground burrows in Utah and Nevada.

Other family members include: 'Janelle', the dominant female; 'Meri', the caring one; 'Christine', with some social problems; 'Robyn', the rebellious one; courageous little 'Shakespeare'; and thirteen (so far) naughty pups.
Person 1: "Hey, did you see the latest episode of Mankat Manor?"

Person 2: "No! I missed it. What happened?"

Person 1: "Well, Christine tried another burrow move, and Paedon almost died in the process. Aspyn got bit by a snake, and they had another run-in with the neighboring Yoder group."
by ToddUncommon March 23, 2011
mugGet the Mankat Manormug.

Ron DeathSentence

Ron DeathSentence is sometimes known as Ron DeSantis, the squinty-eyed, failed toilet brush salesman who became governor of Florida. Characterized by a desire to both go full douche and probe his own anus for signs of intelligence, he refuses to breathe the same air as his constituents, as he burns through his voters like logs on a campfire.
Ron DeathSentence enjoys killing his own citizens with anti-mask, anti-vaccine, and anti-intelligence policies with equal measures of arrogance and cowardice.
by ToddUncommon September 3, 2021
mugGet the Ron DeathSentencemug.

touch pee-pee

Applied to soccer, it occurs when one or more players of the same team is playing unintelligently or inattentively, such as dribbling aimlessly in their backfield, as young children may idly play with their own or each other's genitals, regardless of gender.

It also can be applied in general to any activity where at least one person is blissfully but dangerously not paying attention to something critical.
Soccer: You two, stop playing touch pee-pee and move the ball up the field!

Life: Hey, you! Quit playing touch pee-pee and help me lift this into the truck!
by ToddUncommon June 29, 2010
mugGet the touch pee-peemug.

ONAN

Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.
"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"
by ToddUncommon April 7, 2020
mugGet the ONANmug.

Share this definition