ToddUncommon's definitions
The mealy-mouthed, weasel-worded, chickenshit phrasing that brand advertising likes to believe is "reassuring" about massively negative global events, instead of using real words about what may be going on, like "pandemic" and/or "economic crisis" and/or "presidential incompetence".
Singular form: "(this) difficult time"
Singular form: "(this) difficult time"
"In these "uncertain times", disposable toilet seat covers are more critical than ever, like airlines and vacation cruises. Remember, sometimes the only thing between you and a coronavirus droplet might be a Big Johnson Ass Gasket."
by ToddUncommon March 30, 2020
Get the Uncertain Timesmug. Teacher: "Class, who is the current President of the US?"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"
Dustin: "Donald Trump?"
Teacher: "Close. Anyone else?"
Bianca: "Some bagel-faced dipshit?"
Teacher: "Correct!"
by ToddUncommon March 20, 2020
Get the Bagel-faced Dipshitmug. The name of the fully contracted illness brought on by coronavirus COVID-19. Since the disease is most deadly to the old, fat, and unwell the current president easily fits into the vulnerable demographic. As the same time, his vainglorious incompetence is largely responsible for the rapid increase of COVID-19 infections and cases of Trump Flu. Also known as Boomer Flu.
by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020
Get the Trump Flumug. Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.
"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"
by ToddUncommon April 7, 2020
Get the ONANmug. A heightened state of anticipation (characterized as 'heavy'), especially before an awards presentation.
Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.
Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.
Well, a very, very heavay, uh heavy duweh...uh burtation tonight. We had a very darriss, darrision...but let's go ahead, terris taison dos cablit the had lapet.
by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011
Get the burtationmug. Another name for the world's foremost social networking circle-jerk website, where members expose themselves and flog and flagellate their most annoying parts for all to see, whether you like it or not.
by ToddUncommon March 20, 2011
Get the Fapsbookmug. The technically correct way to spell the name of the popular performer and expert on both the second-oldest and the oldest professions in the world: show business and prostitution, respectively.
Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.
Due to the market increase in dim-witted skanktacular performers leading to slut inflation, the previous dollar sign in her name has been demoted to mere cents.
Person A: "Did you see what that attention whore Ke¢ha wore on Jimmy Kimmel last night?"
Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."
Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."
Person B: "No. Wait, I thought her name was pronounced 'Ke$ha'."
Person A: "Well, it was. But she's an even cheaper slut now, I guess. You could totally tell that the jeggings she wore was actually dirty, and not like stage dirty. Gross."
by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011
Get the Ke¢hamug.