ToddUncommon's definitions

Boomer Flu

The fully contracted flu illness brought on by exposure to coronavirus COVID-19. Since the most vulnerable people to the virus are the old, fat, and unwell, that puts Baby Boomers squarely in the cross-hairs of the pandemic. The disease is lethal to about 2% of all victims, but is lethal to at least 5% of any loser born before 1960, and higher if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, diabeetus, asthma, gout, goiters, conservative politics, or general stupidity. See also: Trump Flu

"I think nana may have come down with the Boomer Flu!"
"Why?"
"She's super sick, and she just got back from her Asian cruise and brought back all this dirty paper money!"

by ToddUncommon March 9, 2020

silly o'clock

A time of morning (or night), usually between 3AM - 6AM in the local time zone that requires a person to interrupt normal sleep or waking patterns for often dubious reasons. Often used in reference to extremely early arrivals to airports, or to join business teleconference sessions with participants in multiple time zones. Also see stupid o'clock.

"I don't look so good because I had to be at work at silly o'clock this morning to join a videocon with our development office in Greece."

by ToddUncommon October 26, 2008

COVID Babies

Sick children, between the ages of 5 and 15, who are home due to school closures, playing online video games (like Fortnite) and audibly coughing, sniffling, and sneezing. See also #sweaty fever child

tiny voice "Ashhpplzz! *snif* Anybody got a mic? Helloo? *koff* *koff* Anyone got a mic? Nobody? *snif*"
older voice "Aww, another one of these COVID babies. I knew you were a sweat."

by ToddUncommon March 24, 2020

Uncertain Times

The mealy-mouthed, weasel-worded, chickenshit phrasing that brand advertising likes to believe is "reassuring" about massively negative global events, instead of using real words about what may be going on, like "pandemic" and/or "economic crisis" and/or "presidential incompetence".

Singular form: "(this) difficult time"

"In these "uncertain times", disposable toilet seat covers are more critical than ever, like airlines and vacation cruises. Remember, sometimes the only thing between you and a coronavirus droplet might be a Big Johnson Ass Gasket."

by ToddUncommon March 30, 2020

snake raper

Much like a worm burner, it is a ball struck with such great velocity along the surface of the ground that it would "brutally molest" or skin the length of a snake. Usually applied in golf or soccer.

That awful tee shot that still went 80 yards was a real snake raper.

by ToddUncommon June 29, 2010

burtation

A heightened state of anticipation (characterized as 'heavy'), especially before an awards presentation.

Coined by CBS LA Reporter Serene Branson, prior to The Grammys, on 13 Feb, 2010.

Well, a very, very heavay, uh heavy duweh...uh burtation tonight. We had a very darriss, darrision...but let's go ahead, terris taison dos cablit the had lapet.

by ToddUncommon March 2, 2011

ONAN

Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.

"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"

by ToddUncommon April 7, 2020