The Sub's definitions

traffic jam

The by-product of either rush hour or a lane closing as a result of a car accident or construction. Mainstreets and highways become choked with cars that are literally bumper to bumper. Like a bad storm, usually the only way out of a traffic jam is sitting through it.

Car lines and lane shields make getting off an exit a daunting game of chicken. Road rage is also pretty common.

There was a huge traffic jam on I-93 when some idiots collided into each other, causing two lane closures. It was backed up all the way to Quincy.

by The Sub February 25, 2005

mutant

A type of every day civilian that forms menial tasks around the city. They are usually low class in wealth, and are very unkept in appearance. Shaggy or greasy hair, bad skin, and odor are usually found around mutants. They can be found driving a city bus, handing out parking tickets, or cleaning up government facilities.

I saw a mutant trying to write a ticket for my car because it was parked 3 minutes over the hour limit, so I told him to get the fuck outta there.

by The Sub February 15, 2005

gym

A holy temple to those who do not have a serious job and are not attending college. A gym usually has free weights, weight machines, benches, and a track or track machines for cardio workouts.

To utilize the power of the gym, one must be there for a majority of the days of the week, a few hours at a time, working on different areas of the body each day. Do not be one of the idiots who goes there just to bench press... that is a guido workout and will give you nothing but man boobs.

After work, I spent the rest of the day at the gym working on my calves and abs to tone them up.

by The Sub March 10, 2005

subway series

In baseball, when two teams from the same city (usually in different leagues) meet.

Began with the Boston Braves vs. Boston Red Sox. Today it's popular to describe the New York Mets vs. New York Yankees series as the subway series.

by The Sub January 31, 2005

ghost car

At night, police cars will sometimes be parked in 'hidden areas', such as behind a billboard or in a parking lot, and will be facing traffic looking for speeders or DWI cases. They may also be parked alongside the road or in the breakdown lane on the highway.

Ghost cars will always have their head lights off, but sometimes the day-running lights will remain on, giving the headlights a light 'ghostly' appearance. It is also sometimes used to refer to any ordinary car driving at night with no headlights or just their dayrunners on, but usually the title is reserved for police vehicles.

I passed under the bridge when I noticed two ghost cars hiding next to it, on the median, each facing a different direction.

by The Sub March 18, 2005

Terrible Towel

A yellow towel that Pittsburgh Steelers fans wave during games. It is also used to wipe away the tears after their fluke of a team gets crushed by the New England Patriots.

Thousands of Pittsburgh Steelers fans used their terrible towels as hankchiefs after Roethlisberger threw another interception which Harrison promptly ran down the field for a touchdown.

by The Sub February 2, 2005

driving

The Murphy's Law of Driving

1) The car infront of you is always slower.

2) The car in back of you always wants to go faster.

3) There is never traffic until you start to back out of your driveway.

4) There is never traffic until you reach the stop sign.

5) When you are in a hurry, everyone is on a joy ride.

6) When you are looking for an address, everyone is in a hurry.

7) Bugs, salt, and other grime on the windshield are attracted to the area directly infront of your line of sight.

8) If a car in the other lane is hovering between you and the car infront of you, he wants to switch, even though...

9) Turn signals (blinkas) are never used.

10) Your exit is 3 lanes to the right, and about 200 feet away.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

by The Sub March 1, 2005