Chimplify

To make an idea or task so simple that even a chimpanzee could comprehend or complete something. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“It’s widely known that Cheney had to chimplify W’s daily presidential briefings; in other words, a Texas monkey couldn’t misunderstand ‘em”.
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
mugGet the Chimplifymug.

Kitchensinking

Attempting multiple solutions to a problem simultaneously, in the desperate hopes that something will work. This methodology is typically used by people who have no idea what they’re doing. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
My supervisor is absolutely clueless when it comes to solving PR nightmares. Rather than spinning a story to the company's benefit, she always ends up kitchensinking the problem.
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009
mugGet the Kitchensinkingmug.

Handincredible

Astonishingly and fantastically handy acts made possible through the mad skills you can learn from the Handyman. Adjectival form is permitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“No doubt ‘bout it, cuz. That Handyman churned out some wicked handincredible multi-purpose bookshelves.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
mugGet the Handincrediblemug.

Frangibility Quotient

The calculable likelihood of something being broken or damaged when handled. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“Now, exercise caution because balsa wood has an extremely high frangibility quotient”.
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
mugGet the Frangibility Quotientmug.

Malicious Obedience

The Modus Operandi adopted by those who work for people convinced of their own infallible decision-making prowess, where one gleefully does what they’re told, even though they know it’s misguided, and waiting for the moment when it all blows up in their supervisor’s face. The precursor to schadenfreude. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Mildred: “I can’t believe the IT Department insists on designing our web site without consulting you, the Graphic Designer, but then expects you to create the lame artwork for it the day before we go live.”
Trev: “I have pledged them my full and complete malicious obedience. It’ll be a disaster, fo’ shizzle.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
mugGet the Malicious Obediencemug.

Cheese Factor

A scaled measurement (1-10) judging how far one’s undies have crept up one’s crack (a potentially debilitating condition which can result from any activity that involves bending, crouching or squatting, and is usually coupled with the exposure of butt cleavage). Scores on this scale must not be issued or proclaimed by novices or cheese factor enthusiasts due to the extraordinary variations in the kinds and sizes of undergarments, necessitating weighted metrics for accurate judgments. For example, traditional Mormon unmentionables are so baggy they rarely bunch, so scores higher than 4 are only possible if said handy Mormons are morbidly obese. Conversely, butt-flossies (thongs) garner at least an 8 rating without one even budging off the couch. A Cheese Factor of 10 (otherwise known as Imminent Endangerment) represents a frightening creepage scenario which might best be replicated by sitting on a vertical pencil and taking a direct hit, if you know what we mean. The momentarily intractable situation of a Cheese Factor 10 may require hospitalization or, at the very least, the full tugging might of your spouse, significant other, or a hastily constructed series of pulleys, weights and some type of wardrobe hook. Eww. This scale is employed when describing the potential outcome of an upcoming task. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
“Replacing this u-bend will probably result in a Cheese Factor of 7, so brace yourself”.
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009
mugGet the Cheese Factormug.

Biscuit-brained

Clueless or dimwitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Using a biscuit-brained approach will cost you more money and more time.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
mugGet the Biscuit-brainedmug.