The Handy Writer's definitions

Chronoptimist

Someone who always underestimates the time necessary to complete a task or project. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Linda only scheduled three hours to shoot our first corporate video. What a frickin’ chronoptimist.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Kitchensinking

Attempting multiple solutions to a problem simultaneously, in the desperate hopes that something will work. This methodology is typically used by people who have no idea what they’re doing. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.

My supervisor is absolutely clueless when it comes to solving PR nightmares. Rather than spinning a story to the company's benefit, she always ends up kitchensinking the problem.

by The Handy Writer May 9, 2009

Handincredible

Astonishingly and fantastically handy acts made possible through the mad skills you can learn from the Handyman. Adjectival form is permitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“No doubt ‘bout it, cuz. That Handyman churned out some wicked handincredible multi-purpose bookshelves.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

First straw

A minor inconvenience. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Oops. Just spilt some coffee on my copy of the morning memo. I guess that’s the first straw.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Frangibility Quotient

The calculable likelihood of something being broken or damaged when handled. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Now, exercise caution because balsa wood has an extremely high frangibility quotient”.

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Hip Dysphasia

Inability to understand being cool. Disproportionately affects those 30 and up. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“My uncle suffers from Hip Dysphasia. He can’t understand why I keep asking him to closet his Member’s Only jacket.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

The Dangly State

Florida.

Dave: “The Dangly State seems replete with biscuit-brainers.”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009