Kitchensinking

Attempting multiple solutions to a problem simultaneously, in the desperate hopes that something will work. This methodology is typically used by people who have no idea what they’re doing. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
My supervisor is absolutely clueless when it comes to solving PR nightmares. Rather than spinning a story to the company's benefit, she always ends up kitchensinking the problem.
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009
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frankenstein

To hack off choice bits of one or more existing items and then attach them to a new project, thereby bending them to suit your own requirements (diabolic or not). No gothic castles, fortuitously-timed electrical storms or god complexes required for this kind of assembly. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
"To build your own awesome and inexpensive jib boom, you’ll need to frankenstein parts from an existing tripod and an L-bracket. With mad skills, all things are possible."
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009
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First straw

A minor inconvenience. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Oops. Just spilt some coffee on my copy of the morning memo. I guess that’s the first straw.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
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Malicious Obedience

The Modus Operandi adopted by those who work for people convinced of their own infallible decision-making prowess, where one gleefully does what they’re told, even though they know it’s misguided, and waiting for the moment when it all blows up in their supervisor’s face. The precursor to schadenfreude. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
Mildred: “I can’t believe the IT Department insists on designing our web site without consulting you, the Graphic Designer, but then expects you to create the lame artwork for it the day before we go live.”
Trev: “I have pledged them my full and complete malicious obedience. It’ll be a disaster, fo’ shizzle.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
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The Dangly State

Dave: “The Dangly State seems replete with biscuit-brainers.”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
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Fugnuggets

Testicles. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.
“These overalls make my fugnuggets feel pinchy.”
by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009
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Cheese Factor

A scaled measurement (1-10) judging how far one’s undies have crept up one’s crack (a potentially debilitating condition which can result from any activity that involves bending, crouching or squatting, and is usually coupled with the exposure of butt cleavage). Scores on this scale must not be issued or proclaimed by novices or cheese factor enthusiasts due to the extraordinary variations in the kinds and sizes of undergarments, necessitating weighted metrics for accurate judgments. For example, traditional Mormon unmentionables are so baggy they rarely bunch, so scores higher than 4 are only possible if said handy Mormons are morbidly obese. Conversely, butt-flossies (thongs) garner at least an 8 rating without one even budging off the couch. A Cheese Factor of 10 (otherwise known as Imminent Endangerment) represents a frightening creepage scenario which might best be replicated by sitting on a vertical pencil and taking a direct hit, if you know what we mean. The momentarily intractable situation of a Cheese Factor 10 may require hospitalization or, at the very least, the full tugging might of your spouse, significant other, or a hastily constructed series of pulleys, weights and some type of wardrobe hook. Eww. This scale is employed when describing the potential outcome of an upcoming task. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.
“Replacing this u-bend will probably result in a Cheese Factor of 7, so brace yourself”.
by The Handy Writer May 09, 2009
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