The Handy Writer's definitions

Chronoptimist

Someone who always underestimates the time necessary to complete a task or project. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Linda only scheduled three hours to shoot our first corporate video. What a frickin’ chronoptimist.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

frankenstein

To hack off choice bits of one or more existing items and then attach them to a new project, thereby bending them to suit your own requirements (diabolic or not). No gothic castles, fortuitously-timed electrical storms or god complexes required for this kind of assembly. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.

"To build your own awesome and inexpensive jib boom, you’ll need to frankenstein parts from an existing tripod and an L-bracket. With mad skills, all things are possible."

by The Handy Writer May 9, 2009

First straw

A minor inconvenience. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Oops. Just spilt some coffee on my copy of the morning memo. I guess that’s the first straw.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Handincredible

Astonishingly and fantastically handy acts made possible through the mad skills you can learn from the Handyman. Adjectival form is permitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“No doubt ‘bout it, cuz. That Handyman churned out some wicked handincredible multi-purpose bookshelves.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Kitchensinking

Attempting multiple solutions to a problem simultaneously, in the desperate hopes that something will work. This methodology is typically used by people who have no idea what they’re doing. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web TV show.

My supervisor is absolutely clueless when it comes to solving PR nightmares. Rather than spinning a story to the company's benefit, she always ends up kitchensinking the problem.

by The Handy Writer May 9, 2009

Frangibility Quotient

The calculable likelihood of something being broken or damaged when handled. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Now, exercise caution because balsa wood has an extremely high frangibility quotient”.

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Malicious Obedience

The Modus Operandi adopted by those who work for people convinced of their own infallible decision-making prowess, where one gleefully does what they’re told, even though they know it’s misguided, and waiting for the moment when it all blows up in their supervisor’s face. The precursor to schadenfreude. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

Mildred: “I can’t believe the IT Department insists on designing our web site without consulting you, the Graphic Designer, but then expects you to create the lame artwork for it the day before we go live.”
Trev: “I have pledged them my full and complete malicious obedience. It’ll be a disaster, fo’ shizzle.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009