The Handy Writer's definitions

Shop-Hack

Any of a number of techniques known to only a scarce few (in some instances, just The Handyman) that will simplify any given task whilst working on projects in the Shop. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

Adoring Fan: “Oh, Handyman, how did you become so incredibly knowledgeable in the handy arts?”
The Handyman: “Ever since I was in diapees, I’ve been formulatin’ and calculatin’ to come up with the best shortcuts for just about anything handy. I refer to each pearl of woody wisdom in my handy bag of tricks as a Shop-Hack.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

The Dangly State

Florida.

Dave: “The Dangly State seems replete with biscuit-brainers.”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Fugnuggets

Testicles. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“These overalls make my fugnuggets feel pinchy.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Frangibility Quotient

The calculable likelihood of something being broken or damaged when handled. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Now, exercise caution because balsa wood has an extremely high frangibility quotient”.

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Biscuit-brained

Clueless or dimwitted. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Using a biscuit-brained approach will cost you more money and more time.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Malicious Obedience

The Modus Operandi adopted by those who work for people convinced of their own infallible decision-making prowess, where one gleefully does what they’re told, even though they know it’s misguided, and waiting for the moment when it all blows up in their supervisor’s face. The precursor to schadenfreude. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

Mildred: “I can’t believe the IT Department insists on designing our web site without consulting you, the Graphic Designer, but then expects you to create the lame artwork for it the day before we go live.”
Trev: “I have pledged them my full and complete malicious obedience. It’ll be a disaster, fo’ shizzle.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Chronoptimist

Someone who always underestimates the time necessary to complete a task or project. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Linda only scheduled three hours to shoot our first corporate video. What a frickin’ chronoptimist.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009