The Handy Writer's definitions

Malicious Obedience

The Modus Operandi adopted by those who work for people convinced of their own infallible decision-making prowess, where one gleefully does what they’re told, even though they know it’s misguided, and waiting for the moment when it all blows up in their supervisor’s face. The precursor to schadenfreude. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

Mildred: “I can’t believe the IT Department insists on designing our web site without consulting you, the Graphic Designer, but then expects you to create the lame artwork for it the day before we go live.”
Trev: “I have pledged them my full and complete malicious obedience. It’ll be a disaster, fo’ shizzle.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Chronoptimist

Someone who always underestimates the time necessary to complete a task or project. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Linda only scheduled three hours to shoot our first corporate video. What a frickin’ chronoptimist.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Hip Dysphasia

Inability to understand being cool. Disproportionately affects those 30 and up. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“My uncle suffers from Hip Dysphasia. He can’t understand why I keep asking him to closet his Member’s Only jacket.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Chimplify

To make an idea or task so simple that even a chimpanzee could comprehend or complete something. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“It’s widely known that Cheney had to chimplify W’s daily presidential briefings; in other words, a Texas monkey couldn’t misunderstand ‘em”.

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

First straw

A minor inconvenience. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Oops. Just spilt some coffee on my copy of the morning memo. I guess that’s the first straw.”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

Frangibility Quotient

The calculable likelihood of something being broken or damaged when handled. Term introduced on the Handyman for the Common Man web-only TV show.

“Now, exercise caution because balsa wood has an extremely high frangibility quotient”.

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009

The Dangly State

Florida.

Dave: “The Dangly State seems replete with biscuit-brainers.”
Trev: “Well, you know what they say … all the nuts roll downhill!”

by The Handy Writer May 10, 2009