The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

Autumn Courtesy Flush

A process carried out by university administrators in the Autumn term which involves shedding students who don't turn up regularly to classes to ensure they aren't charged fees and become an unnecessary financial burden to the institution. This is performed by the student being summarily "deregistered" on the grounds that they are "inadequately engaged" on their programme of study. As a result, students find they are suddenly unable to submit coursework or access any university facilities whatsoever, thus providing proof that they are indeed no longer engaged.

Chris the student: Hey professor! Why can't I submit coursework or access any online library facilities in order to complete my term papers?

Professor: You've probably become an unwitting victim of the most recent "Autumn Courtesy Flush."

Chris: What's that?

Professor: You've been deregistered because you haven't been coming to class.

Chris: My God! But if I can't submit assignments I'll fail the year.

Professor: Yes, well you should have thought of that, shouldn't you? Anyway, good luck with your career.

by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010

groupwork

A learning strategy devised by academics to divert attention from themselves and their own activities, cut down on teaching time and cause the maximum amount of stress and discomfort to their students. Groupwork involves the administration of complex, indecipherable assessment tasks which students are left to spend long hours together in each others' company to figure out leading often to short periods of abusive conflict and sometimes even longer periods of fornication and even marriage.

Jemima: Professor, can you please answer me a question about our assignment?

Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

Cum Catcher

A slang term for a woman. Considered by many (mostly women) to be a derogatory term used by people (usually men) to suggest a particular woman enjoys the practice of having men ejaculating semen into and onto various parts of her body.

"She's a real fucking cum catcher..."

"Here it comes, you fucking cum catcher!"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Work

The deceitful act of making oneself appear busy during office hours in return for payment.

I'd love to help with that important task, but I've got some other work I need to do.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Avatared

Refers to being stepped over and ignored with respect to one's rightful accolades. It's origin stems from the audacious treatment of the movie Avatar by the Oscar's Award committee in the 2010 ceremony when it picked up only 3 production related awards and lost out to another, much less grossing movie called Hurt Locker.

Dude 1: I can't understand why I never get promoted at work.

Dude 2: That's because you keep gettin Avatared.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 8, 2010

throw under the bus

To actually throw somebody under a moving bus.

Example 1
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".

Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010

foetus jacking

A practice developed on the London railway system by women to gain preferntial seating during rush hour periods. It involves confronting male passengers and asking them for their seat on the grounds that they are pregnant.

Female passenger: "can I please have your seat. I'm pregnant." (Whole carriage stares at man)

Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 9, 2010