Definitions by The Gonzo Lecture
groupwork
A learning strategy devised by academics to divert attention from themselves and their own activities, cut down on teaching time and cause the maximum amount of stress and discomfort to their students. Groupwork involves the administration of complex, indecipherable assessment tasks which students are left to spend long hours together in each others' company to figure out leading often to short periods of abusive conflict and sometimes even longer periods of fornication and even marriage.
Jemima: Professor, can you please answer me a question about our assignment?
Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
Professor: No I can't. You see, it's groupwork. You have to figure it out together with your team mates. Why not go and ask Brad to help you. He looks like he'd be happy to straighten you out. I have to go now and see if that infernal coffee bar is open yet.
groupwork by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010
par down
Managementspeak for "no you can't have one".
Employee: can I have another cupboard to store things in my office?
Manager: we are presently seeking to "par down" the amount of storage in this particular area.
Manager: we are presently seeking to "par down" the amount of storage in this particular area.
par down by The Gonzo Lecture March 11, 2010
throw under the bus
Example 1
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".
Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".
Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"
throw under the bus by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010
Intolerance
Intolerance by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010
foetus jacking
A practice developed on the London railway system by women to gain preferntial seating during rush hour periods. It involves confronting male passengers and asking them for their seat on the grounds that they are pregnant.
Female passenger: "can I please have your seat. I'm pregnant." (Whole carriage stares at man)
Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"
Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"
foetus jacking by The Gonzo Lecture March 9, 2010
Avatared
Refers to being stepped over and ignored with respect to one's rightful accolades. It's origin stems from the audacious treatment of the movie Avatar by the Oscar's Award committee in the 2010 ceremony when it picked up only 3 production related awards and lost out to another, much less grossing movie called Hurt Locker.
Dude 1: I can't understand why I never get promoted at work.
Dude 2: That's because you keep gettin Avatared.
Dude 2: That's because you keep gettin Avatared.
Avatared by The Gonzo Lecture March 8, 2010
Blingford
A slang name used to generically describe the suburbs to the east of London, including Essex. The suffix "-ford" denotes that such towns tend to be situated on a river, often the Thames. Such suburbs including Ilford, Stratford, Romford, etc. can therefore be referred to generally without causing direct offense to their residents. The prefix "Bling" refers to the tendency of some of these residents to wear flashy, or gaudy jewellery, possibly implying that they are chavs.
Example 1:
Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.
Example 2:
"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"
Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.
Example 2:
"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"
Blingford by The Gonzo Lecture March 7, 2010