The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

foetus jacking

A practice developed on the London railway system by women to gain preferntial seating during rush hour periods. It involves confronting male passengers and asking them for their seat on the grounds that they are pregnant.

Female passenger: "can I please have your seat. I'm pregnant." (Whole carriage stares at man)

Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 9, 2010

throw under the bus

To actually throw somebody under a moving bus.

Example 1
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".

Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010

Jon Stewart

Widely considered by many to be the most important Jew on the earth.

The indisputable importance of Jon Stewart was confirmed by the Family Guy character, Mort Goldman who exclaimed “Protect Jon Stewart! He's our most important Jew!”

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Intolerance

A justifiable reaction to all the assholes out there.

"My God Bill, all those assholes out there just fill me with unbearable yet justified intolerance."

by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010

Gonzo Lecture

A university lecture characterised by a replacement of the more formal yet boring teaching methods advocated by teacher training colleges and academic managers by insane sounding rants in which the lecturer replaces dry subject matter with their own uncomfortable, personal truth. Based on Hunter S. Thompson's particular brand of gonzo journalism, the Gonzo Lecture is characterised by first person point of view run wild and an oft-indistinguishable fusion of real-world facts and fictional confabulation. The gonzo lecturer may often combine their personal narrative style with contrived personal and often avant-garde anecdotes, expressions of angry disillusionment, foul language and other methods such as textbook throwing. Meta levels of thought are often subtly conveyed through homage to popular cultural symbols and controversial opinions with which the audience identifies. The objective of The Gonzo Lecture is to wake-up the audience to their own oppression by corrupt power systems through engaging them in personal reflection, prompted by their own discomfort. This reflection is designed to stimulate an aspiration on their part to rethink their self-concept as a channel towards personal change. The Gonzo Lecture, as part of the wider field of Gonzo Education is sometimes considered unprofessional by those not yet intellectually freed from the shackles of oppressive power.

Example 1:
Lecturer: This textbook on your required reading list is a piece of total fucking dog-shit! (throws the book into the lecture theatre to be fought over by the audience)

Student 1: This lecture is totally fucked up, man.

Student 2: Yeah...it's fuckin gonzo, dude.

Student 1: But that book IS totally shit, man.

Example 2:

Lecturer: So big corporations encourage you to volunteer in order that you can work for them for free in order that you can get good work experience for your CV so when you graduate you can get a good job with them, cos they already know you're a fucking gullible patsy who will serve them well for the future. Does that sound fucked up to you?

Student: (thinks...) Fuck, I volunteer for free all the time and never thought I was being taken advantage of. I love this Gonzo Lecture, it speaks truth.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

office reorganisation

A sadistic and senseless activity carried out by departmental managers to reassert their power over underlings when their previous cynical management strategies such as teamwork, motivation and front line empowerment have accidentally worked more effectively than could have ever been predicted. Office reorganisation involves creating a fictional reason for getting employees to throw out all their previous years' work, breaking up close collegial relationships and generally restoring a feeling of fear and intimidation which result in the employee realising once again who is in charge.

Manager: Well Bill, it looks like you'll need to move desks to the corner over there in the office reorganisation.

Bill: But I'm working quite well here next to Sandra. Also I have a lot of work to do at the moment.

Manager: Don't be a cunt Bill. Do what you're told. The office reorganisation takes top priority. Just get it done.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Ink Rape

When your tattoo artist does something to you without your permission.

Jase the Needle: So Chaz, tell me how you like your tattoo...

Chaz the victim: Fuck! What the hell is that? What have you done?!!

Jase the Needle: That's ink rape, my friend, pure and simple.

by The Gonzo Lecture April 18, 2010