The Gonzo Lecture's definitions

external examiner

Someone appointed from another institution by a university to question every little, trivial detail of an assessment or graded paper in order to justify their own hefty stipend, make lecturers' lives annoyingly miserable (thus reminding them they are still only employees) and to feign the appearance of academic quality.

Elvira: Leo the external examiner has returned your examination for review because some of the questions require commas to be added. Make sure you do this before you leave the office at 2.30pm today.

Chuck: If all Leo has to do for his money is correct my grammar, then I'd be grateful if you'd ask him to stick that examination paper up his fat arse.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

pedagogy

A word used by academics to confuse students and justify all manner of outrageous crimes against humanity in the name of education. It is primarily applied in situations when an academic requires the ability to smokescreen their own maladjusted intention and win unwinnable arguments with the minimum amount of effort.

Jane "Professor, I'd like you to explain to me why I got such a low grade."

Professor "Well I don't really have the time to explain the inner workings of pedagogy to you young lady. Even if i did, I'm not sure I could help you to understand."

Jane "Huh? What are you talking about?"

Professor "You see? Exactly."

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Blingford

A slang name used to generically describe the suburbs to the east of London, including Essex. The suffix "-ford" denotes that such towns tend to be situated on a river, often the Thames. Such suburbs including Ilford, Stratford, Romford, etc. can therefore be referred to generally without causing direct offense to their residents. The prefix "Bling" refers to the tendency of some of these residents to wear flashy, or gaudy jewellery, possibly implying that they are chavs.

Example 1:

Sociologist: As we can see from this picture, these two people are chavs, sitting in a McDonald's restaurant in Blingford. They are denoted by their tracksuits, gaudy jewellery and next tattoos.

Example 2:

"That's coz you's a tasteless, chavvy, Blingford mutherfucker, innit! Aight?"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 7, 2010

Cum Catcher

A slang term for a woman. Considered by many (mostly women) to be a derogatory term used by people (usually men) to suggest a particular woman enjoys the practice of having men ejaculating semen into and onto various parts of her body.

"She's a real fucking cum catcher..."

"Here it comes, you fucking cum catcher!"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Rail Rage

Derived originally from "Road Rage" but results in one commuter pushing another commuter onto the rail tracks.

The man was jailed for four years for rail rage when he pushed a woman onto the railway tracks because she asked him not to smoke on the platform.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 6, 2010

foetus jacking

A practice developed on the London railway system by women to gain preferntial seating during rush hour periods. It involves confronting male passengers and asking them for their seat on the grounds that they are pregnant.

Female passenger: "can I please have your seat. I'm pregnant." (Whole carriage stares at man)

Male pssenger: "stop with yer foetus jacking, miss. I'm gonna need to see a copy of the ultrasound photo"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 9, 2010

throw under the bus

To actually throw somebody under a moving bus.

Example 1
I was feeling really upset with my colleague, so I threw her under a bus. This was my fulfilment of a lifetime urge to actually practice the phenomenon to "throw under the bus".

Example 2
The driver confronted me and asked "what the fuck did you throw her under my bus for?"

by The Gonzo Lecture March 10, 2010