The Evil Steve's definitions

only when I'm pregnant

A male person's definitive "never" response. Puts to rest the relentless drunk friend-of-friend who tries to force you into a flase confession.

Drunk FoF: "Dude, would you ever consider nailing Snooki?"
Dude: "No."
Drunk FoF: "Not even if your were drunk?"
Dude: "Never."
Drunk FoF: "Even if you're drunk, horny, and she's playing with your balls?"
Dude: "Only when I'm pregnant."

by The Evil Steve November 16, 2011

souldeling

The act of singing notes all up and down throughout three different octaves in five lyrical syllables or less. Technique made most popular by boy bands like All 4 One and Boyz II Men, its purpose is to convey a deep flowing current of emotion, yet sounds more like a vocal epileptic seizure revealing the singer's inability to hold a note for longer than half a second.

The end of that sappy-ass All 4 Men song "I Swear" where the singer hits no fewer than 22 notes in the three syllables "Oh, I swear" is a prime example of souldeling.

by The Evil Steve April 17, 2006

size 9'd

Having one's anus forcefully, repeatedly and not-always-voluntarily resized. Size 9ing is most often performed courtesy of one's new cellmate's johnson, although at some parties, a proper piss-on / pass-out may elicit the act.

Guy 1: "Why is Shiela walking all funny?"
Guy 2: "She got Size 9'ed after passing out face down on the couch at Bob's party."

by The Evil Steve August 30, 2005

rape in Sweden

based loosely on the Julian Assange case, referring to the fact that what counts as anything from gross sexual imposition down to just uncool sexual activites in Australia can be considered rape in Sweden. Used to alert braggart friends that their boasting is not particulary welcome. Also used to be a smartass.

Dude 1: "Yeah, the bitch said no to getting all up in dat azz, but I went there anyway."
Dude 2: "Dude! That's rape in Sweden!"

or

Dude 1: "Jagoff walks around with his pants around his knees, so I grab the waistband on his BVDs and hike 'em towards the heavens!"

Dude 2: "snicker Yeah... but that's rape in Sweden! chuckle"

by The Evil Steve December 20, 2010

Miltoned

To have rights, privileges, and/or other amenities revoked over a period of time with apparent intent of making the Miltonee want to leave. Derived from the Milton character in the movie Office Space, who constantly had his cubicle moved and office supplies removed against his protestations.

Since last year, my boss has taken away lunch breaks, given my job to an intern, and made me share my cubicle with Smelly Mel from Marketing - I'm totally getting Miltoned!

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

beer coaster

Tattoo on the small of a woman's back, usually roundish with rays or flames and two colors (green and/or red will be invovled most often), located precisely where a guy should set his beer while nailing her doggie style. Most prevalent with porn stars, wannabe porn stars, biker chicks, drrrty grrrls, and suburban fluff chicks who want everybody to think they're hard.

Gents - Are you horny? Then hit the club and scout for chicks with the Bar Slut Hat Trick - crop top, low-rider pants or skirt, and beer coaster tatt on display. (Tight jeans with high heels also a good indicator.)

by The Evil Steve September 6, 2005

Slipknot

Very loud, very fast band. Fastest drummer I've ever heard, and the rest of the band keeps up and in time. Not the most complicated or artisticly impressive music, but fuck it - it's metal... what do you want?

In the rare moments the vocalist sings, his voice is pretty decent. 90% of the time, he belches out words in a rapid-fire growl-scream that makes your throat hurt to listen to. Effective for the lyrics and crowd Slipknot plays to.

If one is to believe that Slipknot's lyrics represent the true feelings of the band, these guys wake up more pissed off and hateful than any remotely sane human should ever be in the worst situation imaginable. Therefore, it is safe to say they are a marketing creation geared toward angst-ridden 15-23 year old white males. On drugs. A lot of drugs. A lot of hard, powerful, brain-raping drugs. (The band - not necessarily the target market.)

Technically impressive, artistically passable, lyrically horrid to the point of amusement.

Fear anyone who belives Slipknot's lyrics were written just for him out of pages from his life. The average disaffected adolescent white boy is destructive enough - if he rallies around Slipknot lyrics, you've got another Timothy McVeigh just waiting to happen.

And guys... what's the deal with the masks?

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005