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The Evil Steve's definitions

epidemic

1. (dictionary) Widespread contagion, usually a bacteria or virus, that kills or severly sickens a large number people in a particular geographic area.

2. (American Media) Half-assed drug or dumbass activity that kills a couple suburban white kids, usually in the Baltimore area for some reason.
1. The SARS epidemic of 2003 killed hundreds and hospitalized thousands in China and Toronto.

2. Stone Phillips reporting on the highway surfing epidemic... Ashleigh Banfield to follow with an expose on the paint-huffing epidemic.
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
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mangina

1) Derisive term for a man's feminine side - especially when he's picky, touchy or emotional about something seemingly minor.
2) The bumhole - almost always a man's, and usually used in a prison-dating context.
1) Jesus, Steve, all I said was your car needs washed... you didn't have to flash me your mangina!
2) You got sentenced to three years in State? Guard your mangina and don't drop the soap.
by The Evil Steve September 23, 2005
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sirmixalotropia

A metabolic condition which causes ladies to carry extra weight in the gluteus maximii, thus causing Baby to have Back.
Sirmixalotropia is the condition which elicits a springing response when a girl walks in with a itty-bitty waist and a round thing in your face.
by The Evil Steve July 15, 2011
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ditto monkey

A person who vapidly, unthinkingly yet wholeheartedly repeats, shares and takes to heart phrases and ideas he/she hears from his perceived leader. Most often (OK, damned near exclusively) applied to followers of right-wing media magnates like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage Weiner, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, et al. A ditto monkey is often a raging dullard who can't normally put two syllables together without a paper clip, yet when the topic of their idol's specialty comes up (usually politics), his eyes glaze over and he eloquently spews words you know he couldn't otherwise possibly understand.
"Oh great... E-mail from Patrick. Hideous spelling, every fourth word in ALL CAPS, punctuation looks like a typewriter threw up, and he's blaming the weather on the Clintons. What a flippin' ditto monkey!"
by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005
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Slipknot

Very loud, very fast band. Fastest drummer I've ever heard, and the rest of the band keeps up and in time. Not the most complicated or artisticly impressive music, but fuck it - it's metal... what do you want?

In the rare moments the vocalist sings, his voice is pretty decent. 90% of the time, he belches out words in a rapid-fire growl-scream that makes your throat hurt to listen to. Effective for the lyrics and crowd Slipknot plays to.

If one is to believe that Slipknot's lyrics represent the true feelings of the band, these guys wake up more pissed off and hateful than any remotely sane human should ever be in the worst situation imaginable. Therefore, it is safe to say they are a marketing creation geared toward angst-ridden 15-23 year old white males. On drugs. A lot of drugs. A lot of hard, powerful, brain-raping drugs. (The band - not necessarily the target market.)

Technically impressive, artistically passable, lyrically horrid to the point of amusement.

Fear anyone who belives Slipknot's lyrics were written just for him out of pages from his life. The average disaffected adolescent white boy is destructive enough - if he rallies around Slipknot lyrics, you've got another Timothy McVeigh just waiting to happen.
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
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Miltoned

To have rights, privileges, and/or other amenities revoked over a period of time with apparent intent of making the Miltonee want to leave. Derived from the Milton character in the movie Office Space, who constantly had his cubicle moved and office supplies removed against his protestations.
Since last year, my boss has taken away lunch breaks, given my job to an intern, and made me share my cubicle with Smelly Mel from Marketing - I'm totally getting Miltoned!
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
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ALL CAPS

Obviously, ALL CAPS is the act of typing in all capital letters. The following definitions and examples are to tell you what the all-caps typer's intent is:

1) When used sparingly, typing in all caps emphasizes those words the writer considers critical.

2) When writing rhyme, all caps indicates the syllable/word/beat to be read as accentuated.

3) When used like singles in a strip club, all caps indicates the writer thinks nearly everything spewing from his mouth is of utmost importance. This is the same kind of douchebag who highlights 85% of a textbook. Usually, the writing was forwarded to him from some dogmatic groupthink processing center he subscribes to, but to feel like he contributed, he'll all-caps a fartload of words. Often seen with excessive exclamation points.

4a) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, that person's caps lock is stuck. They need a new keyboard.

4b) When an entire piece of writing is all caps, it was written by a COBOL or FORTRAN programmer, or data-entry person who has worked on COBOL or FORTRAN programs since 1979. They're lost to us on the whole caps-lock issue... just snap their suspenders or flick paperclips into their beehives and move on.
1) Before feeding lions sausages, DO NOT rub your genitals with beef tallow!

2) There ONCE was a MAN from NanTUCKet

3) The JEWS and BLACKS are in CAHOUTS with THE ONE-WORLD GOVERNMENT and they INTEND to TAKE OVER NASCAR!!!!!

4a) DAMMIT! TWENTY BUCKS DOWN THE FLUSHER FOR A NEW KEYBOARD!

4b) WHEN PRESIDENT FORD SENT ME HIS NOTE ON ARPANET, IT WAS IN ALL CAPS. WHO AM I TO ARGUE WITH SUCH A GREAT MAN?
by The Evil Steve August 25, 2005
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