7 definitions by Tex Tile
A sad, self-victimizing, stress-addled man whose wife/girlfriend has keeps his balls in a locked box while she takes dick from real men.
Abject cuckoldry is usually associated with skinny-fatness and gender-inappropriate maternal instinct.
Abject cuckoldry is usually associated with skinny-fatness and gender-inappropriate maternal instinct.
Tony is an abject fucking cuckold. I can't remember a relationship where his woman wasn't getting plowed by someone twice his size.
See that abject cuckold over there? I can see why his lady's getting sluiced elsewhere; look at him, it's just in his nature.
See that abject cuckold over there? I can see why his lady's getting sluiced elsewhere; look at him, it's just in his nature.
by Tex Tile May 29, 2017
A cuckold who needs and receives an extraordinary amount of prostate stimulation. He also likes to give the stimulation but is too pear-shaped and submissive to be a "top" in any plausible scenario.
Tebucky wishes he could dig out the prostate of the alpha Chad who bangs his wife, but he's a Tebuckold by nature, so it'll never happen.
by Tex Tile May 11, 2021
The act of inserting a saxophone mouthpiece in someone's anus and blowing like you're soloing over a John Holetrane piece. The goal is to make the recipient squeal like John Coletrane's soprano sax in "My Favorite Things."
A guy on the street offered me a John Holetrane but all he had was pvc pipe. I respectfully declined, sure that he wasn't the butthole virtuoso he was claiming to be.
by Tex Tile February 13, 2016
The act of inserting a saxophone mouthpiece into someone's anus and blowing like you're soloing over a Coltrane piece. The goal is to make the recipient squeal like Coltrane's soprano sax in "My Favorite Things."
Some guy on the street tried to sell me a John Holetrane but all he had was .75" pvc pipe. I said "You're thinking of a different act." I walked away, disappointed that I still didn't know when or where I'd get my next authentic John Holetrane.
by Tex Tile February 7, 2016
A skinny, bearded, pale climber who hits on women by complimenting their climbing skills. He never succeeds, but his balls are boundless.
I saw THE FRENCH CUCKOLD at the climbing gym and he said to a woman "You are zuch a zmooth climber, bebbe. I am zo erratic up there." She nervously laughed and walked away.
THE FRENCH CUCKOLD asked a woman what level the climb she had just done was. She snarkily walked up to the wall and shouted the level out, ignoring him afterward.
THE FRENCH CUCKOLD asked a woman what level the climb she had just done was. She snarkily walked up to the wall and shouted the level out, ignoring him afterward.
by Tex Tile January 1, 2022
Noun: a person who effortlessly outdoes everyone. He/she never tries but always succeeds at the highest levels. No one can explain where Bruce's all-around competency and effectiveness come from, and Bruce would find a way to expertly dodge the question and make you feel trite if you brought it up. Don't bother trying to get tips or mentorship; you would already know if you were a Bruce.
Verb: to be a Bruce--in general or in a situation-specific way. To effortlessly triumph.
Verb: to be a Bruce--in general or in a situation-specific way. To effortlessly triumph.
Noun: "I wish I could be more of a Bruce, but usually I'm overextending to get shitty results."
Verb: "I Bruced that diorama, that test, that final, that LSAT, MCAT, SAT, CFP, CFA, that presentation, that sales target, on those athletic fields, etc.. People say I'm more of a Chad than Chad. I spend my time 'pulling my pud' and all my goals just happen. I'm probably a Bruce."
Verb: "I Bruced that diorama, that test, that final, that LSAT, MCAT, SAT, CFP, CFA, that presentation, that sales target, on those athletic fields, etc.. People say I'm more of a Chad than Chad. I spend my time 'pulling my pud' and all my goals just happen. I'm probably a Bruce."
by Tex Tile May 5, 2022
I'm a football fuckin' hooligan! Me mum's got 1930s, me dad's got 'em, and when I stopped playin' football some little 1930s sprouted where me pecs used to be.
I was about to fool around with a really hot French exchange student, but when she took off her wonder bra, I was shocked to learn she had 1930s tits. Horrified, I picked up my pants and left.
I was about to fool around with a really hot French exchange student, but when she took off her wonder bra, I was shocked to learn she had 1930s tits. Horrified, I picked up my pants and left.
by Tex Tile August 23, 2007