Telephony's definitions

pitiful excuse for a used douche

An insulting phrase used to describe a woman (if you could call her one) that's more insulting than calling her a douchebag or even a douchenoozle.

Flo from a certain insurance company's commercials is a pitiful excuse for a used douche.

by Telephony November 16, 2013

cucking fold

A way to say the phrase, "fucking cold" that bypasses the onboard censor in online BBSs, forums (or fora if you want to be a dick about it) and other locations where the use of curse words might be inappropriate.

Man, the water that comes out of this hot water tap is really cucking fold for a minute or two!!!

by Telephony December 28, 2020

the grinder

What some people call using the shower; usually a quick one.

{Ella}: Cummon honey, it's almost time to go to work.
{Norm}: Just a few minutes Ella, I need to go through the grinder first.

by Telephony October 13, 2014

let's blaze!

It's not what you might think: on the telly program, "Blaze and the Monster Machines" when Blaze (a talking monster truck) says, "Let's blaze", it "grows" these blue-glowing tailpipes and kicks ass. However, when somebody says, "let's blaze!" in the real world, they'll whip out a big-ass bong or a big fat bowl and spark it up.

Hey Debbie! Come over here; let's blaze!

by Telephony February 4, 2019

squeaky

Crying.

{Jerry, watching the Maury show on the telly}: Aww look at Marisol. She still hasn't found the baby daddy. She's so squeaky!!!

by Telephony May 6, 2019

I Need to Hit the Head

A fake, phoney-bologna totally fictional jingle one might sing when they have to use the toilet or urinal.

{Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme, "The Farmer in the Dell"}:

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫
♫ Don't piss in the stereo ♫
♫ I need to hit the head! ♫

by Telephony April 6, 2017