Telephony's definitions

blown rubber

Plain & simple: a used condom.

Look behind the bar! There's a fucking blown rubber back there!! Who the hell had sex there last night?!?

by Telephony June 14, 2016

aural douche

What you're receiving when you use a bulb-type ear syringe filled with warm water to flush excess cerumen (earwax) out of your ear(s).

My ears are terribly plugged up. Time to have an aural douche!

by Telephony November 6, 2018

vaccum

A surprisingly common misspelling of the word, "vacuum".

{Seen in the description of a drone video on YouTube}:

While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åš#Ø£€ to your ṕ€n¡s ♪
♪ Some true douchenoozle vaccumed up light bulbs!!! ♪
{~850ms delay}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪

by Telephony January 10, 2021

penile colony

A place where straight male prisoners who have committed particularly heinous crimes are sent -- typical penile colonies are on distant islands and are primarily inhabited by F47707s who have also committed particularly heinous crimes.

The straight male prisoner of such a colony is subsequently subjected to repeated unwelcome cornholing by the gay inmates.

Hey, didjya hear that Bernie in New Seattle hosed down all of those schoolchildren and got sentenced to life in a penile colony?

by Telephony June 29, 2013

marinal

In most instances, a marinal is just a motorised marinator.
But at the Kentucky Fried Chicken at Kenmore WA. USA in 1987, the marinator was called the marinal cos some total true-blue asshaberdasher kept using it as a urinal. As a fucking URINAL for Christ sakes!!!

{Craig}: Todd, it's your turn to douche out the marinal tonight.
{Todd}: Fuck you and the horse that rode you in!!!
{Craig}: The hell with it. I'm gonna knark on you for turning the marinator into the marinal!

by Telephony August 18, 2018

flying penis

What some people call a Boeing CH-47 Chinook helicopter (the kind with no tailboom and two sets of main rotor blades located on the upper side of the fuselage both fore & aft; sometimes called a tandem helicopter) because it looks like a big ding-a-ling flying through the sky.

Hey Dennis, check out the flying penis near those buildings over there!!!

by Telephony September 28, 2013