Telephony's definitions

marinal

In most instances, a marinal is just a motorised marinator.
But at the Kentucky Fried Chicken at Kenmore WA. USA in 1987, the marinator was called the marinal cos some total true-blue asshaberdasher kept using it as a urinal. As a fucking URINAL for Christ sakes!!!

{Craig}: Todd, it's your turn to douche out the marinal tonight.
{Todd}: Fuck you and the horse that rode you in!!!
{Craig}: The hell with it. I'm gonna knark on you for turning the marinator into the marinal!

by Telephony August 18, 2018

douchewasher

What some people might call a dishwasher, esp. when they truly hate to load & empty the thing.

Tom, it's your turn to load the douchewasher after dinner!

by Telephony September 7, 2013

vaccume

A very common misspelling of the word, “vacuum"; used most frequently to describe an electrically-powered cleaning device or the vacuum of space. Appears entirely in writing, because it is pronounced the same as the word, “vacuum".

{Craig}: Dave, can you vaccume the hall dear? (yes, Craig & David are F46607s)

{David}: Awww man, isn't it your turn to vaccume? (takes a pair of dikes {the wirecutters, not the other kind!} and snips off the cord)...ummm Craig, this vaccume cleaner's busted!!

by Telephony September 3, 2013

timber bell

A timber bell is a fairly large (~1 foot dia.) bell in a tavern or bar that is readily accessible to customers. When the bell is rung, the customer who rang it buys a round for the house.

{ding! ding! ding!} Hey, somebody just rang the timber bell! Free drinks on the way!!!

by Telephony May 19, 2021

pee IN the toliet, not ON the toliet!

An admonish men given to males with bad aim while passing micturition.

I just had cataract surgery; now I can pee IN the toliet, not ON the toliet!

by Telephony June 15, 2014

I Need to Hit the Head

A fake, phoney-bologna totally fictional jingle one might sing when they have to use the toilet or urinal.

{Sung to the tune of the nursery rhyme, "The Farmer in the Dell"}:

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫

♫ I need to hit the head, ♫
♫ Don't piss in the stereo ♫
♫ I need to hit the head! ♫

by Telephony April 6, 2017