Telephony's definitions

Freshness With a Fuck

A fake, phoney-bologna jingle sung to the tune of the Glade Spin-Fresh air deodouriser jingle.
The phrase, "plug it up" is how one would say, "plug it in" in the UK.

♫Freshness with a fuck,♫
♫Plug it up plug it up!♫

The phrase, "plug it up" is how one says, "plug it in" in the UK.

by Telephony July 13, 2017

pathetic cringing little milksop

Far, far worse than a regular milksop; the pathetic cringing little milksop is not only an unmanly man, he may also be a whining little faggot, a crying sore loser, a truly pussywhipped man, a wholly dickwhipped woman, or other assorted wastoid.

Jake is such a pathetic cringing little milksop it ain't even funny -- the little bitch whines about anything and everything. He is truly an oxygen thief.

by Telephony December 17, 2011

broken

When referring to a pet cat or dog that's been "fixed", they're actually broken. I mean, think about it...when a pet has its cunt cut out or has its nads chopped off, it is no longer capable of doing something that it was rather easily able to before -- that is, make kittens or puppies!

Yeah, Nikki has been broken; she got spayed approx. nine years ago and can no longer have little baby kitties.

by Telephony June 6, 2015

5th of July

The day when you walk down the street and see things such as sticks from bottle rockets, and remnants of Roman candles scattered in lawns and in gutters, and the occasional "banana peeled" mailbox that got that way because some asshaberdasher shoved a lighted M80 or M500 illegal firecracker into it the night before.

Hey Jimbo, check out that demolished mailbox!
Must be the 5th of July or something!

by Telephony July 3, 2014

woodpeckerhead

A woodpecker (sp. Picidae) that, from some angles, its head looks like a pecker (dick, cock, willie, johnson, penus, penis, etc. is known as a woodpeckerhead.

Look at the head of that woodpecker over there! It's a woodpeckerhead!!!

by Telephony April 6, 2015

asshole thermometer

Another name for a rectal thermometer.

Hey Jerry, don't put that fucking thing in your mouth cos it's an asshole thermometer!

by Telephony May 15, 2016

uronium

Chemical symbol: Un.
Atomic number 327.
An odoriferous brown substance that usually exists between the toliet seat hinges and the bowl.
Uronium may also appear around the bolts that hold the toliet to the floor.

Some people choose to ignore uronium; choosing instead to mask its unique odor with Glade® Plug-Ins® or Wizard™ aerosol.

by Telephony October 24, 2010