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Telephony's definitions

buttsnoipe

A different way of calling somebody an a$$hole.
Jonathan is such a buttsnoipe for slashing the tires on your bicycle!!!
by Telephony November 20, 2010
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piddled-off

When a TV program (such as the news or other current events program) forces heavy censorship, they urge the reporters, narrators, and other crew to say something like piddled-off instead of pissed-off.
{Narrator}:
"In this video, you'll see what happens when one piddled-off idiot takes things way too far."
by Telephony December 16, 2016
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aural tampon

Improvised earplugs (or actual ear tampons!) made out of small wads of bungwipe or nasal tissue.
Most frequently used to help prevent an unwelcome ear whipping; can also be used to stem the tide of bright red blood from the ears when one has been exposed to very unpleasant sounds (like rap or metal to somebody who normally listens to adult contemporary, etc.)
{Hoolio}: Hey Husoos!!! What's with the Cleanax in your ears?
{Husoos}: Those are my aural tampons; some bungsnoipe was playing sludge metal music on this big-ass ghetto blaster on the bus I was just on, so I stuck those things in my ears to help stop the damn noise before some other rider beat the living tweedle out of the jerk who was blasting that nasty-azz "music"!

{Dominique}: Hey Hozay, what's with the wads of bungwipe in your ears?
{Hozay}: My ears started to bleed after I watched an R/C helicopter video on YouTube but I didn't know that there was going to be an Anthrax choon accompanying it, so I made me some aural tampons and stuffed those fuckers in my ears!
by Telephony May 20, 2013
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twerpectomy

A phoney-bologna fake medical procedure sometimes mentioned by the evil babysitter Vicki on the TV cartoon, "Fairly Oddparents".
This procedure is where the patient's tonsils are removed along with his/her will to live.
{Timmy}: I have to go get a tonsillectomy today.
{Vicki}: No Timmy, you're getting a triple twerpectomy!!
by Telephony February 19, 2015
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ass doilies

Plain and simple: those flushable paper toilet seat covers!
Hey Marge! Can you get an old T-shirt out of the van please? They're out of ass doilies in here!
by Telephony July 22, 2019
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fece

The singular form of the word feces; that is to say, a single stool floating in the shitbowl or lying on the ground, waiting to be stepped in and subsequently tracked inside the house.
{Hoolio}: Hey look out Hozay, there's a fece that you're about to step in!!!
{Hozay}: Thanks Hoolio! I'm glad that you told me about that so I didn't step on it and track it all over the rug inside!

{Horhay}: Hey George, did you forget to flush? There's a fece half covered in bungwipe floating in the water and you're the last one to use the bathroom!
by Telephony September 6, 2013
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spit diaper

A partial facemask put on prisoners who have a nasty tendency to spit or hawk loogies at the arresting officer(s), courtroom inhabitants (judge, bailiff, prosecuting attorneys, jury members, court reporter, etc.), prison employees, and so on. Spit diapers fit relatively tightly over the mouth & nose of the offending spitter, and are fastened to the face with thin elastic bands that fit around the ears.
Eduardo kept spitting at the cops, so they gave him a spit diaper right after he had his mugshot.
by Telephony December 27, 2015
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