Telephony's definitions

douche out

To rinse; usually with fresh water.

Hey Norm, don't forget to douche out that carafay before you start a new pot of coffee!

by Telephony July 17, 2014

Santa Clause

An unfortunate but extremely common misspelling of Santa Claus, a fat man who breaks into people's homes every December 24th, guzzles their milk, devours their cookies, and usually leaves presents under the tree -- though if your children behaved especially shittly earlier in the year, a lump of coal that's been uranated on will be deposited in their Christmas stocking instead of brightly-wrapped presents.

Santa usually enters people's homes via the fireplace chimney; though if the chimney's plugged up, the flue is closed, if a fire is still burning, or if the person lives in an apartment and has no chimney, he'll find some other method of entrance and egress -- such as by jimmying a window.

Santa Clause came down the chimney last night and left a huge pile of coal that smelled like piss! Wonder what the children did to piddle off the fat bastard so much?!?

by Telephony December 25, 2020

whirling down the shitbowl

Going to pot, going to hell in a handbasket; a way of saying that a situation or a person's condition is deteriorating extremely rapidly.

Mom's mind is whirling down the shitbowl; she always forgets to take her meds, she lies in bed naked all day, she has poopinary and pissinary incontinence, she won't even get up to get a glass of water.

by Telephony May 4, 2019

lamerz

How a lamer might spell the word, "lamers"

{Seen in the scroll text of an Abyss demo on the Commodore 64 computer in the late-1980s}:

A ? TO EVERYONE: ONLY A FAGGOT WOULD REPLACE THE "S" WITH THE "Z" .. EX. WARES AND WAREZ. LAMERS AND LAMERZ. WHAT IS YOUR GUY'S GAY INCEST WITH THE "Z" KEY?

by Telephony June 5, 2015

the fit has hit the shan

A polite way of saying (or typing) the phrase, "the shit has hit the fan".

{Seen on an online forum}: yea, the fit has hit the shan...think we're discussing all of this in the POLITICAL FORUM, Ang. in the, "From Ferguson With Love" thread...

by Telephony November 26, 2014

pizzle

Simply put, urine (piddle, potty, pee, micturition, whiz, poddy, wee-wee, etc.)

That urinal is unflushed; it's full of dark yellow pizzle!

by Telephony December 24, 2018

bugicide

Insecticide -- usually in an aerosol bomb (spray can) such as Raid or Black Flag.

Mark, be a dear and fetch me the bugicide please! There's a fucking cockroach in the douchewasher again!!!

by Telephony July 26, 2015