Telephony's definitions

faxicide

The deliberate destruction of a facsimile (fax) machine.

Hey!!! Jimbo finally committed first degree faxicide on that stupid fax machine that's always spitting toner at us!!!

by Telephony January 17, 2011

uranate like a competitive equine

Means the same as piss like a racehorse; e.g., when you have to pee really badly.

Sheesh!!! Todd had to uranate like a competitive equine this morning!!! Must have been all the brewskies he had last night!!!

by Telephony January 20, 2011

public enema number one

Very similar to "public enemy number one"; perhaps a little worse (how much worse can it get?!?)

Jayden is public enema number one for stealing the food from the foodbank and throwing it into a burning dipsty dumpster!!! Man, what a class A-1 prick!!!

by Telephony January 24, 2011

Collecto

What a Kentucky Fried Chicken employee often calls the Winston Collectramatic; the small pressurised deep fat fryer used for Original Recipe chicken.

Todd, it's your turn to clean the Collecto this time.

by Telephony January 24, 2011

dipsty dumpster

Another name for a garbage dumpster; the large rectangular wheeled garbage receptacle often found in alleys.

Hey Mike!!! I just tried to throw out this box; the dipsty dumpster in Crawford Place is full, so I'm going to try the one in the alley behind the apartments on Olive Way next.

by Telephony January 25, 2011

pissblanket

A plastic mattress protector; used to prevent a mattress from becoming wrecked if somebody has enuresis (if they piss the bed). They are often found on beds at group homes and similar facilities.

Robbins then thinks about the pissblankets on every bed in the joint, so he rips the pissblanket off of one of the beds, goes around and unscrews all of the light bulbs he can get to, pours the generous helping of light bulbs into the pissblanket (approx. 24 bulbs), gathers up the edges, and whirls the bulging pissblanket over his head -- striking the wall with it a number of times until he is absolutely, positively, 100% certain that all of the bulbs inside are busted. He then crams the pissblanket and its cargo of broken bulbs into a nearby wastepaperbasket.

by Telephony April 16, 2011

walltoliet

Another name for a wall-mounted porcelain urinal.

Gary, call the plumber! Somebody shoved paper towels or something into that walltoliet and flooded it!!

by Telephony November 29, 2010