Syracuse JOHNSON's definitions

weekend time

The term referring to the fact that time does not exist on weekends. There’s no set time for waking up, eating, going to sleep, having sex, getting fucked up, etc. It is perfectly acceptable to smoke a bowl at 5am, go to sleep at 7, wake up at 3pm, cop a beej before breakfast at 4 and start drinking at 4:15.

Weekend time starts the second you exit your last class on Thursday and ends late Sunday night when you realize that your parents didn’t send you to college just to get shitty and screw sluts.

Yo, is it time for dinner yet?

Dude, it’s weekend time – eat when you’re hungry, fuck when you’re horny, and get wasted as much as humanly possible.

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Yay! Let’s start drinking :) :) It’s five o’clock somewhere!

That phrase is for 40 year old single dykes. It’s weekend time, aight to drink at all hours of the day and night.

by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009

non-stander

Any female. Given this name because the inferior gender cannot take a piss standing up.

Go eat a dick non-stander!

I hate when you shit on me for being born without a y-chromosome!!!

by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009

tonsil billiards

Tonsil hockey for high school kids occurs when you poke some bitch’s tonsils with your dick. It’s not your standard blowjob, it’s the aggressive kind when you grab the skank’s head and give those tonsils some solid hits.

‘Lil bro, I hope you’re having your fun playing tonsil hockey in junior high, but tonsil billiards is where it’s at in high school.

by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009

closer

The name used for someone who has a clutch role in any situation, similar to a closer in pro baseball.

Come on Papelbon, we’re counting on you to get the weed for the 4am blunt to smoke before we pass out tonight.

You’re in charge of making dessert for our high feast. Unless you can’t handle the pressure of being the closer…

Call me a closer cuz I always seal the deal in the bedroom!

by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009

door relationship

Similar to an open relationship, except doors open in one direction. Only one partner must remain monogamous and stay faithful to the other.

Yesterday, I told my GF that I’d be seeing other people, but it wasn’t chill for her to do the same.

More bitches should be down for door relationships. You’re a lucky fuck!

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I been bangin mad bitches on the side lately, guess I’m in an unclarified door relationship

by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009

financial hangover

Far worse than nausea, headaches, vomit stains, battle wounds, dehydration, cramps, gas, the shits, grogginess, toilet hugging or when “the sunlight hits you dead in the eye, like it’s mad you gave half the day to last night.”

Occurs when you wake up and notice you’ve spent a copious amount of money the previous blackout night. Could include leaving your tab open at a bar, or simply losing your wallet like a true inebriated dumbfuckboozer.

Dude, I’ve got the worst hangover. My head is pounding harder than I pounded that slizz last night.

Check your wallet fuckface, I bet your financial hangover’s worse. You bought the entire bar shots of Jack last night.
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Yo, you gotta have the worst financial hangover mankind’s eva seen. You bought multiple fifths, a quap of trees, six pizzas and an STD-free prostitute.

I wish I remember at least one of those purchases, but at least I’m classy and didn’t buy myself the herp.

by Syracuse JOHNSON October 20, 2009

make big plays

When you’re making moves and need someone to do something unexpectedly extraordinary.

Polak, we need you to make big plays and find a way for us to play ruit in your basement tonight.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. I’ll figure something out, and it’ll be real. It’ll be fun. It’ll be real fun! Even though I'm Polish...

by Syracuse JOHNSON December 16, 2009