StormSworder's definitions

Tittybangbang

Proof that the BBC couldn't give a toss about its audience. They refused to make any more series of decent shows like Red Dwarf and yet churn out dreck like this. Basically each show consists of the same characters telling the same jokes. Shows like this can work if the characters have depth to them and there's something to laugh at other than just mind-numbing catchphrases (Little Britain, for example, the funniest sketch show in many years). But here we have one-dimensional characters you couldn't care less about, swearing and obscenities as an alternative to humour and sketches like Salty Tales, the Rasta fans and the movie stars which don't seem to have any kind of point to them at all. The real shame is that, with two female leads who can do a wide range of characters and a star-studded supporting cast, this could have been great. Unfortunately someone forgot that comedy sketch shows are actually supposed to be funny.

Due to the unique way the BBC is funded by you, the licence-payer, we can show shit like Tittybangbang and don't even bother if nobody watches it because we'll still have got your money.

by Stormsworder June 22, 2009

toilet

A seat-shaped object leading to a pipe which, in turn, leads to the sewers. Used to dispose of bodily waste - though urine is often disposed of on the floor around the base of the toilet. A toilet is a source of much hilarity with schoolboys or those with similar ideas about humour (like me, for example). Also used in insults (eg: "you smell like a public toilet"). A toilet is a place the Queen never has to visit (through some miracle of biology, presumably). People who are sick in the toilet are said to be "talking down the big white telephone". Although some toilets I've seen are so filthy their original colour is long lost in the mists of time.

In my old school someone took something out of a toilet and smeared it across a classroom wall. The teacher was adamant that the culprit would be made to clean it off. The guilty party was never revealed, so the shat stayed on the wall and festered for years after. This was a classroom used as a lunch-hall. What a charming school.

by Stormsworder May 31, 2007

boris

1: A name associated with Russia for some reason or another.

2: A name sometimes given to tarantulas. Probably comes from the song 'Boris the Spider'.

"Don't call that spider Hairy. His name is Boris".

"It is? Does he come to you when you call his name?"

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

ps3

The white elephant of the Sony Playstation series. Despite the fact there were riots in the streets as fans fought over it, the console is quite the most over-priced, ugly thing in video-gaming history. The control pads are wireless (I once bought wireless control pads for a console and they were a nightmare to use). They will cost gamers a fortune in batteries. Sony have already, rather unwisely, announced the PS4, the PS3 is not compatible with PS2 or PS1 games, and the PS3's game line-up is frankly pathetic.

According to Sony, the PS3 will have "4D graphics". Meaning they can travel through time? The PS3 can also fly you to any planet of your choice, cure all known diseases, work out how humanity can exist without wars, famine or suffering and ensure peace and love reign forever.

by Stormsworder October 16, 2007

ps3

The white elephant of the Sony Playstation series. Despite the fact there were riots in the streets as fans fought over it, the console is quite the most over-priced, ugly thing in video-gaming history. The control pads are wireless (I once bought wireless control pads for a console and they were a nightmare to use). They will cost gamers a fortune in batteries. Sony have already, rather unwisely, announced the PS4, the PS3 is not compatible with PS2 or PS1 games, and the PS3's game line-up is frankly pathetic.

According to Sony, the PS3 will have "4D graphics". Meaning they can travel through time? The PS3 can also fly you to any planet of your choice, cure all known diseases, work out how humanity can exist without wars, famine or suffering and ensure peace and love reign forever.

by Stormsworder October 30, 2007

pasadena opossum

1: An opossum is a marsupial from the United States. A Pasadena Opossum is presumably one from Pasadena. There are three cities in the US with this name, one in Texas, one in California and another in Maryland.

2: A character from the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. Pasadena is a tall slim female created by eccentric scientist Dr Van Clutch to compete in cart races around his theme park. Pasadena has a Texan accent and her long tail is used as a third hand. She comes across as a bit of a stereotype valley girl. It is obvious she fancies Crash, though the feeling is not mutual.

"That Pasadena Opossum is just gorgeous. I wouldn't mind going round the track with her a few times".

Seek urgent help.

by Stormsworder January 12, 2007

school

A place where it is now impossible, in the UK at least, to get a decent education thanks to New Labour dumbing down the UK's schools, making exams easier than ever and generally ensuring everyone grows up stupid enough to vote them back in again. NL MPs go on about how everyone should be bottom equal in everything, despite sending their own children to the finest private schools in the land. They are also banning anything which encourages children to be competitiveness. The teachers are no longer allowed to so much as raise their voices, meaning teaching is even more impossible. Before long we will have an uneducated generation, aside from the super-rich elite. The founders of communist China and Russia would be proud of Tony Bliar and his puppet-masters.

The 'A*' grade was invented to con people into thinking children are coming away from school more intelligent than ever, and children who can hardly read or write are being awarded A* in English. Still, as long as the children of the rich do well, that's all that matters according to the New Labour despots.

by Stormsworder November 14, 2006