StormSworder's definitions

Daddy's Little Girl

A girl (teenaged or older) who is basically still tied to her father's apron-strings (or whatever the male equivolent of apron-springs are). She is usually a spoilt brat, owns nice clothes, maybe a car, has her hair done every five minutes, all on Daddy's credit card. Dates boys she thinks are good enough for the likes of her, but if they do anything wrong then Daddy will basically be after giving them a stern talking-to (or a good hiding, depending on what sort of person Daddy is).

"There's that Daddy's Little Girl again. She just pulled up in her brand new car and has strutted in wearing designer clothes and with her expensive hair-do. Do you think she ever wonders what it's like to earn anything in life?"

by StormSworder August 19, 2006

mel gibson

Proof that you don't need talent to make it in this world. Mel Gibson has made a fortune simply through looking nice. He is a rubbish actor and a rubbish director, and now he is being forced to resort to blatant xenophobic propaganda in order to make anyone notice his so-called movies.

Mel Gibson should have been a Nazi propagandist. They used to churn out films filled with this kind of propaganda and hatred against other countries and Jewish people.

by Stormsworder November 24, 2006

white van man

A threat to road safety, these kinds of so-called drivers spend their time wolf-whistling at women, making stupid gestures with their hands at passers-by and generally carrying on as though they're on the dodgems. They can be found in vans of any colour, or other vehicles such as lorries, but the white van seems to have become traditional with people whose IQs are lower than their shoe size. They are often fat and reckon they're well'ard and'll give yer a slap, yer know wot I mean, mate?

A short guide to white van man hand signals.
Middle finger = "This is the number of my IQ"
Hand-cranking gesture = "This is what I do often because I can't pull a bird on account of too many of them having a brain".
Honking their horn = "I'm a complete inadequate and my vehicle's an altermnative to a dick".

by Stormsworder January 6, 2007

spider

One of evolution's greatest success stories. There are spiders all over the world, and the oldest known fossil spider is 380 million years old. Spiders are eight-legged and carnivorous, use silk in a variety of ways depending on the species. Many spin cobwebs to catch prey, larger spiders line the edge of their burrows with web. The bolas spider is named because it throws a line of web ending in a sticky lump to catch prey. Spiders inspire fear and revulsion, quite undeserved, but probably not helped by years of movies telling us spiders are humanity's enemies. Schools are not much more helpful. I still remember a science teacher telling us a black widow was the size of a human hand, which is rubbish. There are some dangerously venomous spiders, like widow spiders, funnelweb spiders, brown recluse spiders and brazilian wandering spiders, but they are a tiny minority of the huge number of spiders in the world. Just to drag some widely-held beliefs into the light of reality:
1: Spiders are not watching you. Most, apart from some jumping spiders, have very poor eyesight.
2: Spiders do not come out of plug-holes. A spider in the bath has fallen down there and can't get out due to the bath's slippery sides.
3: Large hairy spiders are not automatically dangerous. In fact nobody has ever died from a tarantula bite.
4: Women are not automatically scared of spiders. In fact most of the calls the British Tarantula Society gets regarding fear of spiders are from worried men.

Hysterical person: Help! I saw a spider! I'm not going to bed! It might be there waiting for me!
Other person: What makes you think any self-respecting spiders would want to get into your bed?

by StormSworder August 15, 2006

Dr Neo Cortex

A power-mad dwarf who is the enemy of the popular video game character Crash Bandicoot. He is bald with a black beard and an 'N' on his forehead (it's never made clear whether the 'N' is a tattoo or some kind of metal plate). When he was a child, Cortex attended the Academy of Evil where he was mercilessly bullied by the other children and by the tyrannical headmistress Madame Amberley. From an early age he developed a love of torturing and experimenting on animals. In later life he became a scientist, but was ridiculed and shunned by the scientific world for his outlandish ideas. So he enlisted the help of N.Brio, another outcast scientist, in his plan to take over the world and avenge himself against all those people who had mocked him all his life. N.Brio had built the Evolvo-Ray, a machine which could cause rapid evolution in animals. Cortex took control of it, set about turning animals into an army of soldiers. Crash Bandicoot was one of the animals he used the Evolvo-Ray on, but there was a malfunction and Crash escaped, soon became his enemy. After many defeats at the hands of Crash, his sister Coco and a mask containing the spirit of a witch-doctor, Cortex is still obsessed with ruling the world. But first he intends to destroy Crash Bandicoot....

Dr Neo Cortex: Crash, Crash, Crash. Why must you always muck in my mud? Oh look, I have a mask helping me too! We will see which one is more powerful soon enough!

by StormSworder August 13, 2006

Dr N.Gin

N.Gin is a character in the Crash Bandicoot series of video games. He first appeared in Crash Bandicoot 2, as the right-hand-man of the power-mad Dr Neo Cortex. He is a physicist who, with his mech-suits, has played the part of end-of-area boss in some of the Crash games. He has been playable in the racing games Crash Team Racing, Crash Nitro Kart and Crash Tag Team Racing. Physically he is a short, squat ginger-haired man dressed in some kind of white coat with what look like metal studs. Half his head is metallic. This came about due to one of his own missiles going wrong and hitting him in the head. Due to his scientific prowess he was able to stop it exploding. In Crash Tag Team Racing he is dressed like a goth, and his vocalisations whenever Crash hits him have led to some people suggesting he is a massochist (although he could just be mocking Crash's attempts to hurt him).

I'm off to the governmnent's meeting on world peace. Maybe I'll bump into Dr N.Gin.

by Stormsworder December 20, 2006

david cameron

The current leader of the UK Conservative party, David Cameron just about sums up the Tories as of late. The UK government has never been so openly and blatantly corrupt, sleazy, spiteful and dishonest. Any half-decent opposition would have knocked the New Labour party into oblivion after their first term in power. Which shows just how useless the Tory party is. Cameron himself is an ex-Etonian, stuck atop an ivory tower with no idea of the working classes or life outside his pampered little world. Since becoming leader he is hell-bent on turning the Tories into an immitation of New Labour (why have an opposition in that case?) and is determined to go soft on crime, trying to generate sympathy for criminals. Pity he can't show any sympathy for the victims. Like Blair, Cameron is just window-dressing for a party obsessed with PC, PR and image. If you ask me, the remaining Tories true to the party's principles should break away and form their own party. See how long Cameron and his band of spoon-fed, liberal soft-heads survive on their own. The latest PC stunt, appointing an asian female MP, had blown up in Cameron's face, as she is talking more sense than all his cronies put together and no-one can accuse her of racism or sexism. I say Patel for the next leader of the Tory party.

David Cameron doesn't want the Tory party to come to power, let's be honest. Because if they get elected, the Tories won't have a clue what they're supposed to do. Unless....
Cameron: "Er, excuse me, Tony. Hang on a minute, will you. What exactly is it a government is supposed to do?"

by Stormsworder December 1, 2006