StormSworder's definitions

lamp post

A structure used to hold a lantern in place with the intention of lighting roads, footpaths, car parks or other such areas at night. They generally consist of a post (or 'column'), and an arm (or 'bracket') onto which the lantern is inserted. The first 'lamp posts' probably consisted of burning torches on top of wooden poles around villages. Gas lamps were originally used in modern society, but their light had a very limited range, and they had to be lit by hand every night. In the twentieth century electric lamp posts became commonplace, are now to be found in towns, villages, cities, on motorways and other main roads everywhere. Originally they were made of cast-iron, but throughout the decades lighter metal lamp posts gradually came into use. Concrete lamp posts became popular during the fifties, as they did not need to be painted and were sturdy. These kinds of lamp posts (which are the best in my personal opinion, especially the older, more ornate ones)have concrete brackets with metal pipes inside them. Although there were concrete lamp posts before the war, the shortage of metal during and after the war probably helped their popularity. In recent years, however, concrete lamp posts are all being removed due to corrosion or the worry they could be dangerous if someone crashed into one and it fell on either them or a passer-by. (It is actually the metal piping inside the bracket, along with the bolts holding it to the post, which rust, buckling out of shape and cracking the concrete. If it wasn't for this you could probably have a concrete lamp post which lasted forever). Metal and plastic lamp posts are now in common use, many without brackets.

They are now putting modern (albeit cheap) lamp posts up all around the towns and villages. This has the negative effect of making the place look tacky and detracting from the beauty of the place.

by Stormsworder January 12, 2007

Daddy's Revenge

This is basically what happens in a number of situations involving a Daddy's Little Girl.

1: The girl's boyfriend may have got her pregnant, and maybe shunned responsibility.

2: The girl may have finished with her boyfriend but he isn't getting the message.

3: The father is over-protective and has found out some boy has so much as looked at his little girl.

What the revenge involves will depend on what Daddy is like. The lad who has wronged his daughter in whatever way could end up with a thrashing, an appearance in court, a shotgun up the nose, or forced into a marriage that wily little minx has planned all along (you didn't really believe her when she said she was safe for a few days, did you?)

Daddy's Little Girl: "I want us to get married, Joe.
Joe: Married? No, sorry. I do like you, but I wasn't planning....
DLG: But I'm pregnant.
Joe: Well, I'm sorry, but it was your idea not to take precautions that night.
DLG: Did I mention my Daddy boxes for Southampton? Yes, he's just as fit and strong as when he was eighteen. Hell of a punch he's got on him. Oh yes. He'd do anything for his little girl.
Joe: But wait....I....wasn't....
His choice - Daddy's Revenge or marriage to someone who plans to take him for every penny he's got and then dump him in the gutter without a copper coin to his name.

by StormSworder August 20, 2006

blotto

Drunk. Other terms which mean 'drunk' are: intoxicated, pissed, smashed, Oliver Twist (rhyming slang), potted, soused, in your cups, off the wagon, slaughtered, hammered, wasted, shit-faced, squiffy, legless, sozzled, plastered, sloshed, inebriated, tipsy, tiddly, paralytic, tanked up, on the booze, on the piss, on the sauce

Wife: "You were the one who ended up blotto last night and introduced your dinner to the 'welcome' mat. You can wash it and then wring it out".

Man: "Right now I feel like it's my brain that needs wringing out".

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

box

1: A package used to keep things or delivery things through the post in.

2: A way of fighting using the fists. Professional boxing involves two people trying to be the first to knock the other out for a count of ten.

3: A female genetalia. Other slang for female genetalia include halibut, front bottom, pussy, twat, cunt.

Put the items in a box and send it through the post

by Stormsworder April 3, 2007

genie

A genie is thought by many (probably due to films they've seen) to be a man who appears to grant three wishes if the lamp he lives in is rubbed. In fact, according to mythology, a genie is a mischievous spirit who has been imprisoned in some object or other (it needn't automatically be a lamp).

Genie-related humour.
Police find a warehouse filled with stolen property, including a lot of lanterns.
Inspector: Well, well. It's Aladdin's cave.
Constable: How very witty, sir. (thinks:don't give up your police job just yet).

by Stormsworder December 1, 2006