StormSworder's definitions

scum

A sub-species which is becoming all too common in the UK thanks to the dumbing down of the education system and the fact that the police spend their time either filling in paperwork or going after motorists. Examples of scum can be found everywhere, from the highest to the lowest parts of society. Politicians, big businessmen and the like are more corrupt and self-serving than ever. In the town where I live, psychiatrists have walked away from causing serious head injuries and from telling their patients they're possessed by ghosts. Meanwhile, it is dangerous to go out onto the streets after dark in many towns or cities. This is mainly due to brain-dead head-bangers who patrol the streets looking for prey, doing in gangs or or in pairs what they wouldn't have the guts to do on their own. Most people grow out of schoolboy-type behaviour, but there is a certain breed who seem unable to do so. They remain as yobs well into late middle-age and beyond. Indeed, I was minding my own business when someone started hooting their car-horn at me. When I gave them the finger, they stopped their car (at a crossroad, causing a hold-up). I was then threatened by some fat old git in dungarees. When I failed to be scared by his threat, he threatened me again but this time added an 'f-word', as though that made him sound scarier or more grown-up. I still failed to be scared, and he gave up and went on his way. People like this deserve only pity. And that's another thing. Scum of all ages seem to think swearing is both grown-up and the height of comedy. Their world-beaters are all over public toilet walls, galvanised-metal lamp posts and the like. They also shout things from cars as they drive by, big brave men that they are. Their girlfriends are usually brainless bimbos who think crime is glamorous and are turned on by thuggish behaviour.

New Labour are going to start coming down hard on scum. They're going to get women in black leather to come to parliament and give all the NL MPs a good spanking.

by Stormsworder October 25, 2006

European Union

To quote a Star Wars character, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. Originally designed to unite Europe, this organisation has mutated into a corrupt gang of power-hungry, democracy-hating con-artists who want to live like princes and be accountable to no-one. They employ people like Lord Neil Kinnock (so-called socialist who lost two elections in a row), and Norman Lamont (useless chancellor who sunk the UK into recession). Now they have complete control over the UK (thanks to our treacherous selfish government who know a gravy train when they see one) they'll be accomplishing what a certain Austrian painter set out to do seventy years ago.

Hitler: "Damn and blast! Why didn't I just wait until the forming of the European Union! I could be ruling england and all of Europe by now!"

by Stormsworder October 16, 2008

George Bush

George W Bush is a man who has made more false claims about his past than Jeffrey Archer. When he was governer of Texas he sent the state police out to arrest peaceful demonstrators. His company 'quietly' bought up over 200 anti-Bush Internet domain names. He has given large amounts of state money to repay certain people for contributing large amounts of cash to his campaign and to repay others for making him personally rich through insider business deals. He made personal profits from failing oil companies, sold 60% of his oil stock for over $840,000 two months before Kuwait was invaded (how very well timed!) and he used government coercion to make him a private fortune. He and his lapdog Blair have between them brought us to the brink of global war, have taken away rights in the name of anti-terrorism whilst doing nothing about the real terrorists. After the capture of Saddam (whose trial is a ridiculous farce, with the ex-dictator running rings around everyone), it's now been realised that Saddam was the only thing keeping Iran in check. Let's be honest, the only mistake Saddam made was invading a country which supplied America with cheap oil. Our 'allies' in the Gulf Wars themselves have terrible human rights records and have invaded other countries. Every time Bush opens his mouth I wonder what half-educated Stan Laurel-type blitherings are going to come out of it next. George W Bush is the final proof, if any were needed, that the world is run by big business and not politicians, and big businessmen don't want anyone with an IQ in power in case he starts thinking for himself.

George Bush: "People misunderestimate me".
"More and more of our imports are coming from a abroad"
"That was the most logical and common sensical thing to do"

by StormSworder August 13, 2006

blotto

Drunk. Other terms which mean 'drunk' are: intoxicated, pissed, smashed, Oliver Twist (rhyming slang), potted, soused, in your cups, off the wagon, slaughtered, hammered, wasted, shit-faced, squiffy, legless, sozzled, plastered, sloshed, inebriated, tipsy, tiddly, paralytic, tanked up, on the booze, on the piss, on the sauce

Wife: "You were the one who ended up blotto last night and introduced your dinner to the 'welcome' mat. You can wash it and then wring it out".

Man: "Right now I feel like it's my brain that needs wringing out".

by Stormsworder February 4, 2007

genie

A genie is thought by many (probably due to films they've seen) to be a man who appears to grant three wishes if the lamp he lives in is rubbed. In fact, according to mythology, a genie is a mischievous spirit who has been imprisoned in some object or other (it needn't automatically be a lamp).

Genie-related humour.
Police find a warehouse filled with stolen property, including a lot of lanterns.
Inspector: Well, well. It's Aladdin's cave.
Constable: How very witty, sir. (thinks:don't give up your police job just yet).

by Stormsworder December 1, 2006