15 definitions by Steve CHUTER
The fuck-factor is the unexpected,although sometimes inevitable hitch,X factor or just the bad-luck part of for example,a plan.
The wifes'on nights,the kids are staying at grannies'.You ring your mistress, in ten minutes shes'there. Great dope, wonderful champagne unforgetable dirty, dirty,sex and my god "its half six already"..... bottles,dildoes, roaches, sperm stains..... NOTHING MUST BE FORGOTTEN!!!
Mistress out the door. Windows opened,dog-breath... done,tuna-fish willy.....ready for inspection..... THIS IS GOING TO WORK!!!!
(20 MINUTES LATER)
"Hi honey how'd work go?"
"Oh fine, but I gotta take a shower!"
"Sure babes', I'll put the coffee on".........(exit wife)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! YOU BASTARD, YOU FUCKING TWO TIMING LOW LIFE SON OF A BITCH!!!!Shit, babes what did I do????
Which brings me back to the fuck-factor.
IF YOUR MISTRESS USES A TAMPAX AND SHE DROPS ONE IN YOUR SHITTER ..... DON'T FORGET TO PULL THE CHAIN GUYS.
Mistress out the door. Windows opened,dog-breath... done,tuna-fish willy.....ready for inspection..... THIS IS GOING TO WORK!!!!
(20 MINUTES LATER)
"Hi honey how'd work go?"
"Oh fine, but I gotta take a shower!"
"Sure babes', I'll put the coffee on".........(exit wife)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! YOU BASTARD, YOU FUCKING TWO TIMING LOW LIFE SON OF A BITCH!!!!Shit, babes what did I do????
Which brings me back to the fuck-factor.
IF YOUR MISTRESS USES A TAMPAX AND SHE DROPS ONE IN YOUR SHITTER ..... DON'T FORGET TO PULL THE CHAIN GUYS.
by Steve CHUTER November 7, 2006
Skinnier than a Nagasaki racing snake.
by Steve CHUTER November 7, 2006
Once dressed in ones'cabbage-kit one must now cam up. Camming up is the the fiendish art of making ones self invisible to the naked eye of a would-be enemy.
This is what you do.
Smear ones face with something brown,black or green often sold in tubes and tins and found in any good hardware shop. Next, adorn ones self with bits of grass,twigs,sack-cloth and twine thus becoming a sort of dull coloured christmas tree without the fairy lights.You are now completly invisible to the naked eyes of even the wiliest Taliban and can go about many cunning military tasks without the least hassle from the curlie-wurlies you are about to liquidate.
This is what you do.
Smear ones face with something brown,black or green often sold in tubes and tins and found in any good hardware shop. Next, adorn ones self with bits of grass,twigs,sack-cloth and twine thus becoming a sort of dull coloured christmas tree without the fairy lights.You are now completly invisible to the naked eyes of even the wiliest Taliban and can go about many cunning military tasks without the least hassle from the curlie-wurlies you are about to liquidate.
Private Jones, why are you cammed up?
Oooh sir, you were'nt supposed to see me,you've spoilt everything!!
Sorry Jones I don't want to be a kill-joy but it is nearly bed-time and you have'nt even touched your hot milk....or your ginger-nuts!
Oooh sir, you were'nt supposed to see me,you've spoilt everything!!
Sorry Jones I don't want to be a kill-joy but it is nearly bed-time and you have'nt even touched your hot milk....or your ginger-nuts!
by Steve CHUTER November 28, 2006
by Steve CHUTER November 3, 2006
Nubbits are piss-flaps.
by Steve CHUTER November 28, 2006
Originally a chidren's TV programme(BBC late sixties) about a neanderthol type person found to be living in a cave at the bottom of some childs garden Describes a dirty,scruffy or very unkempt person.
by Steve CHUTER November 3, 2006