Stephan Smolka's definitions

Smolka's Postulate

There is a fundamental connection between technology, physical reality and nature. And the parallels between technology and nature are astounding.

Smolka's Postulate reveals that cars have systems that match that of animals; ie: gas tank - stomach, catalytic converter - liver, carburetor - lungs and so on. A computer hard drive needs to defrag every so often, like a mind needs to dream(believing that doing so consolidates information in the brain).

by Stephan Smolka September 5, 2009

That's strange

The response a technical support person gives you when they can't solve your problem.

After calling the 900 number that was printed on the package for help, the customer rep said "That's strange!!" And I knew that I was truly fucked.

by Stephan Smolka January 31, 2010

perfection abuse

Demanding a level of commitment from someone in a relationship, as if they should have read your mind. A way of keeping someone focused on their own faults, keeping you safe and secure from reproach.

With my girlfriend, not only did I have to remember all the holidays and what we did and wore that day, I had to remember everthing we said to each other and know what kind of gift she wanted and how I was supposed to present them to her. What a perfection abuse hell I had to live through!!

by Stephan Smolka November 20, 2009

needs no introduction

The lamest way to introduce someone. Then what are you doing this instant?

The Master of Ceremonies stated that his guest,"Needs no Introduction", but I was wondering why he was waisting his time?

by Stephan Smolka November 20, 2009

smart answer

A good answer to a rhetorical question. An answer that proves you are still awake.

Because most rhetoric is used by lame people on autopilot, a smart answer is used to wake them up.

by Stephan Smolka November 20, 2009

celebrity by proxy

Close relative to the professional celebrity you are famous because you are related(not quite) to someone famous.

The future(?) son-in-law of the former presidential candidate has become famous as a celebrity by proxy.

by Stephan Smolka November 25, 2009

radio nazi

A play on the 'soup nazi' on Seinfeld. What you are faced with when you try to speak to the host and don't phrase your question the proper way.

When it was my turn to speak, I asked the host, "How are you?" and in radio nazi fashion got booted off the air!

by Stephan Smolka December 12, 2009