Smart American Male's definitions
Sluttiest children's special in television history. The abomination of awards shows and the most overrated.
Teens don't even watch. Children do.
It's not even their choice. The choice is Miley's and the Jonas Brothers'. And they suck.
Therefore, the awards are nothing but novelty.
Teens don't even watch. Children do.
It's not even their choice. The choice is Miley's and the Jonas Brothers'. And they suck.
Therefore, the awards are nothing but novelty.
by Smart American Male August 10, 2009
Get the Teen Choice Awards mug.Okay. Not good, great, bad, or terrible. Just okay. One would come to realize when coming across something like an interview on TV or in a magazine, if you can at least sustain the sight of that weird face of hers. Or finding out that the porn star and the prettyboy cunt aren't her friends anymore. Or even just because she's not with Disney anymore and that biohazard blond hair is now a strange colored brown. But still be kept caution after hearing that she's still eight kinds of people at once, and she is that old to still be wanting anything she wants.
Great - Obviously, no female stars have gotten here.
Good - Hayden Panettiere/Taylor Swift
Okay - Ashley Tisdale
Bad - Projects "Demi"/"Selena"/others from Disney/Jamie Lynn
Terrible - Projects "Miley"/"Vanessa".
Great - Obviously, no female stars have gotten here.
Good - Hayden Panettiere/Taylor Swift
Okay - Ashley Tisdale
Bad - Projects "Demi"/"Selena"/others from Disney/Jamie Lynn
Terrible - Projects "Miley"/"Vanessa".
Mary: What do you think of this girl?
Tim: Meh. She's Ashley Tisdale.
Mary: NUH UH!!! She can't be! Only Hannah Montana could be 2 different people! AHHHH!!!
Tim: No, you fucktard. I mean she's not bad. She's okay, but keep looking.
Tim: Meh. She's Ashley Tisdale.
Mary: NUH UH!!! She can't be! Only Hannah Montana could be 2 different people! AHHHH!!!
Tim: No, you fucktard. I mean she's not bad. She's okay, but keep looking.
by Smart American Male June 8, 2009
Get the Ashley Tisdale mug.The codename for a weapon of mass destruction. Used by the military to play to terrorists until they kill themselves. Made up of 6 band members to make one of the biggest mind-numbing, time-wasting, money-draining, soul-sucking stupidities in the music industry. Up there with the likes of other posers such as the Jonas Brothers, teaching little kids how to grow up to be obnoxious white stoner trash with no futures trying to make a living in southern California with the attitudes they have. If they wouldn't be worried about "fags" who hate their music, then why the hell would they actually sing/rap/whine about it in their songs? They threaten to "kill" (AKA "tickle" in their lingo) any "motherfuckers" and "punks" for anyone who hates their music as they mention four times in EACH of their songs. You think that actually makes great music, you've been smoking reefer.
Normal behavior when listening to Hollywood Undead:
Clown wearing mask: "White babies with tattoos, we are drooling right on you
we are breaking everything, r-rowdy like a classroom"
Smart teenagers: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My poor little brain! NOOOOOOO! *grunts and struggles to click "pause"* Phew...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! I'm calling my lawyer!
Clown wearing mask: "White babies with tattoos, we are drooling right on you
we are breaking everything, r-rowdy like a classroom"
Smart teenagers: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My poor little brain! NOOOOOOO! *grunts and struggles to click "pause"* Phew...WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?! I'm calling my lawyer!
by Smart American Male November 22, 2009
Get the Hollywood Undead mug.Time to clean the slate on the LeBron James definition. A pathetic, ego driven traitor and the main villain of the NBA. His departure to the Heat was truly disgraceful to Cleveland. He decided to announce his move in a classless fashion which is a big fuck you, with no proper goodbye to Cleveland. He whines about not winning rings when in reality he wants to play with 2 of his butt buddies. His explanation for all of this was a lie.
Queen James' decision to sign with the Heat happened to be planned out since 2008, when his boyfriends, Dwyane Fade and Christy Bosh were on the U.S. team in the Olympics. Turns out LeBron could have gotten a championship with the Cavs, he just decided to quit like a fucking bitch in the playoffs (2009 vs Magic; 2010 vs Celtics.). The 3 lovers decided to join forces today all because they were pulverizing countries who don't give a squirt of piss about basketball.
He didn't wake up the morning of his decision day and talk with his mother about it. Your mother would sure as hell not be okay with you blowing up half of a U.S. state to kingdom come including where you live just to get a small piece of plastic around your finger.
And thus his lack of backbone and machismo proves himself as not a knight but a knave, not a leader but a follower, not a winner but a loser! And not only that Cleveland and Akron hate him now but so do the other teams, realizing his free agency was a fucking rig. He's never going to be on par with Jordan and Kobe.
Queen James' decision to sign with the Heat happened to be planned out since 2008, when his boyfriends, Dwyane Fade and Christy Bosh were on the U.S. team in the Olympics. Turns out LeBron could have gotten a championship with the Cavs, he just decided to quit like a fucking bitch in the playoffs (2009 vs Magic; 2010 vs Celtics.). The 3 lovers decided to join forces today all because they were pulverizing countries who don't give a squirt of piss about basketball.
He didn't wake up the morning of his decision day and talk with his mother about it. Your mother would sure as hell not be okay with you blowing up half of a U.S. state to kingdom come including where you live just to get a small piece of plastic around your finger.
And thus his lack of backbone and machismo proves himself as not a knight but a knave, not a leader but a follower, not a winner but a loser! And not only that Cleveland and Akron hate him now but so do the other teams, realizing his free agency was a fucking rig. He's never going to be on par with Jordan and Kobe.
Miami fan: HAHAHA WE GOT LeBron James and Cleveland sucks!
Cleveland fan: Nooooo. Now that you got LeBron, Miami sucks. Oh and they just lost again. Throw another jersey on the fire.
Cleveland fan: Nooooo. Now that you got LeBron, Miami sucks. Oh and they just lost again. Throw another jersey on the fire.
by Smart American Male July 11, 2010
Get the LeBron James mug.A drugged up harpy and the acting equivalent to Ke$ha who somehow tranced into numerous alternate universes until she found the one that was able to land her in a life with other "a-list" actresses. Except there's something that's missing. Oh, right...talent. She never took any acting lessons or went to any talent schools or agencies. She can only run 2 miles per hour and just has a 3 inch vertical leap. Many were to believe she would be the one to captivate the box office. Well Michael Bay, you picked the wrong bitch and now it has costed us middle class people dearly. If Hollywood was the way it was 10 years ago, she would not make it. And what we heard from Transformers crew members and Mickey Rourke, she's unqualified to be acting. Unfortunately it doesn't matter, because she's set to kill a bunch of franchises in the future.
Film Agent: Well, you're just about set to be a big "star". Anything we need to know before we proceed?
Megan Fox: Well I got a lot of plastic surgery.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I can't read.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I'm a pot addict.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I got an inflated ego. Like I'm a real big bitch and I want to do things MY way, even if it would turn the whole project around. And I doubt I'll make any friends or be a great role model.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I intend to bring a weapon to one of my movies sets.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: Oh and I REALLY HATE acting.
Film Agent: That's 'kay. Is that it, otherwise congratulations YOU'VE MADE IT!!!
Megan Fox: Well I got a lot of plastic surgery.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I can't read.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I'm a pot addict.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I got an inflated ego. Like I'm a real big bitch and I want to do things MY way, even if it would turn the whole project around. And I doubt I'll make any friends or be a great role model.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: And I intend to bring a weapon to one of my movies sets.
Film Agent: That's 'kay.
Megan Fox: Oh and I REALLY HATE acting.
Film Agent: That's 'kay. Is that it, otherwise congratulations YOU'VE MADE IT!!!
by Smart American Male May 31, 2010
Get the Megan Fox mug.A man who is attracted to beer over women. It's a growing trend over the repetitive use of the idea in American beer ads.
Girl 1: Kelsie, help...
Girl 2: What's wrong?
Girl 1: They guy you hooked me up with, turns out he's pretty weird.
Girl 2: Is he a homosexual?
Girl 1: Worse. An alcosexual.
Girl 2: What's wrong?
Girl 1: They guy you hooked me up with, turns out he's pretty weird.
Girl 2: Is he a homosexual?
Girl 1: Worse. An alcosexual.
by Smart American Male June 6, 2010
Get the alcosexual mug.A daily block of mini sports soap operas packed into one hour. Programs listed in order and the length of the episodes vary:
Yankee Country
Manny Knows Best
The Favre Saga
The Misadventures of T.O.
Lebrontourage
The Red Sox Chronicles (or sometimes a rerun of Yankee Country)
repeat the cycle until 2PM EST.
And check this, they leave women doing the morning shift.
Yankee Country
Manny Knows Best
The Favre Saga
The Misadventures of T.O.
Lebrontourage
The Red Sox Chronicles (or sometimes a rerun of Yankee Country)
repeat the cycle until 2PM EST.
And check this, they leave women doing the morning shift.
ESPN anchor: And still to come, we take a trip to Ben Roethlisberger's natural habitat at the Pittsburgh Zoo. Later, a rapper comes on stage! What the fuck does this have to do with sports? Who knows?! Don't tell us how to do our business, bitch! It's nawmally good!
Viewer: Man, even Sportscenter could use an offseason.
Viewer: Man, even Sportscenter could use an offseason.
by Smart American Male April 29, 2009
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