Secret Agent Man's definitions

gong show

Based on the 70's amateur 'talent' show, the Gong Show. Applied to entertainment, it means cheesy and out of control, OR completely ruined through the good intentions of amateurs.

They had three bands scheduled, but the first one was the total gong show, so almost everyone left.

What the--? I thought this was supposed to be a presidential address, and I get the gong show?

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003

bitchnet

Hypothetical network all cruel, aggressive women are tapped into.

My boss was a pain in the ass, and then, she must have used bitchnet to tell my wife to give me hell also.

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003

buy a fucking vowel

Phrase borrowed (more or less) from TV's "Wheel of Fortune", indicating disrespect for someone's mental abilities. Since generally the contestants on Wheel aren't exactly Einstein, telling someone to buy a fucking vowel is about equivalent to "Get a clue, moron!"

You think the War on Drugs is working? Buy a fucking vowel!

President Bush wants to help the middle class, eh? Maybe he should buy a fucking vowel with his family fortune.

by Secret Agent Man September 18, 2003

UFO

Unidentified Flying Object. Originally a catchall term for anything flying that could not be identified by Civil Air Patrol observers during World War 2. Since then, taken over by lunatics that believe that for some reason, advanced alien civilizations have come to earth, are studying our assholes, and make contact with Roscoe and Billy Bob near their moonshine still in West Virginia. See buy a fucking vowel.

Dang, Billy Bob, give me some of that thar yor drinkin and I might see me some UFO's too! Hot Damn!

by Secret Agent Man September 19, 2003

Mode

Taken from electronic devices, which can operate in one or more 'modes' and thereby restrict their possible actions to a few options. Applied to humans, this usually is used as a suffix indicating 1. their normal thinking and reasoning abilities have been overridden by something they're 'hung up' on; or 2. their normal drives and ambitions have been replaced by a possibly irrational desire for some particular thing.

I tried talking to him about science, but he just went into Religious Wacko mode and started spouting scripture.

Watch out, those two are in geek mode.

No, I don't want a burger, I'm in burrito mode.

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

popular culture

That part of society which is purchasable at Wal-Mart in a variety of packaged forms.

I ran, screaming, past the greeter and into the welcoming darkness of the parking lot to escape the onrushing wall of popular culture.

by Secret Agent Man September 17, 2003

rat's ass

In U.S. Marine jargon, a comparative indicating that something is worthless. In more polite company, see hill of beans.

This equipment isn't worth a rat's ass.

So? I don't give a rat's ass.

by Secret Agent Man September 19, 2003