Samantha Fox's definitions

hand job

also known as the lazy mans' wank. The process by which a woman masturbates a man to the point of climax and ejaculation.

I was tired of wanking myself off, so I asked the nurse to give me a hand job.

by Samantha Fox January 14, 2008

jenna jameson

better known as the Queen of Porn, Jenna Jameson is a blonde pornstar responsible for much wasted sperm and long hours of unrepentant masturbatory folly. Jameson is also a skilled film director.

As soon as Jenna Jameson came onto the screen, I knew I'd never be able to resist. Six hours and much wasted tissue later, I picked my pants up off the floor and slunk shamefully out as my girlfriend glared accusingly at me and my sticky hands.

by Samantha Fox January 14, 2008

chimpanzee

A highly intelligent species of ape found throughout Africa. Chimpanzees are known for their ability to outsmart humans and advanced mathematical skills. They are also outstanding architects and engineers. Chimpanzees were largely responsible for designing the rocket that took Neil Armstrong to the moon in 1969. The term 'chimp' is a derogatory term for chimpanzees that is commonly used by specicists.

That chimpanzee is smarter than any man I've ever known.

by Samantha Fox November 7, 2007

tart

A professional slut who poses nude in men's magazines.

There's a nice photo of that tart on page 12, if you're interested in checking it out.

by Samantha Fox November 7, 2007

angelina jolie

Better known as Tomb Raider. Jolie is the world's most famous archaeologist. Her exploits were depicted in the Tomb Raider series of video games and films. Due to her incredible hotness, Jolie became Male Masturbation Fantasy # 1 for three years in a row between 2001 and 2003.

Angelina Jolie is the greatest archaeologist in the history of mankind.

by Samantha Fox November 7, 2007

toss off

A highly elaborate form of masturbation involving pronounced forward movement of both arms.

Anyone planning to toss off is gonna need a lot of space to himself.

by Samantha Fox November 7, 2007

porn

Magazines, films or photographs of a sexually explicit nature used by men as an aid to masturbation. Pornography can be divided into 3 main categories:

1. Erotica - Mild materials stimulating only to failed wankers.
2. Softcore porn - photos of naked hot chicks popular among traditionalist wankers.
3. Hardcore porn - highly explicit content favoured by experienced wankers.

I was supposed to finish that report last night but I spent the whole time looking at porn and polishing my knob.

by Samantha Fox November 7, 2007