56 definitions by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic

Flourettes

Seemingly polite and conventional people who intermittently make offensive, fleeting Tourette's-like statements to catch people off guard.

Flourettes enjoy peppering their conversation with unexpectedly rude comments to prove they aren't as tame as they seem.

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

Unitard

People who walk around in normal society dressed in the full uniform of their favorite sports team.

The Unitard is a sports fashion aficionado who takes his love of sportswear to an extreme level.

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

Food Court Druids

Teenage Goths obsessed with fantasy role-playing games like Magic the Gatherer

A special breed of Goths obsessed with fantasy role-playing games like Yu-Gi-Oh! Lord of the Rings, and other games associated with orcs, dragons, and plate-mail armor wearing alligators.

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

Stretchibitionist

People who go to the gym to show off their bodies and get attention.

The makeup the stretchibitionist insists on wearing doesn't run and she never seems to break a sweat.

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

Dial Drones

People who are addicted to talking on their cell phones

When ordering a cappucino at a cafe, dial drones multitask by making a call while they order

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

The TGIF

maturity level stunted at age 16; live for the weekends and the drunken revelry they associate with it

The Maxim-subscribing office pervert

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004

Soccer Lillies

Similar to soccer moms, only they have lesbian haircuts

After having children, Soccer Lillies simply stop worrying about their appearance.

by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic August 4, 2004