Splitscreens

multitasking employees proficient at doing several things all at once
Splitscreens can watch C-SPAN streams, talk on the phone, listen to the radio, send instant messages, and read CNN online all at once.
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Page Eighty-Sixers

Laymen paparazzi who commonly spot people who look "just like" celebrities at the mall, church, and Applebee's.
Page Eighty-Sixers point to random people they encounter in public and say, "Doesn't that person look just like Colin Farrell?"
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Blurts

Children who say racially and religiously insensitive things by mistake.
Some Blurts shout out, "Look, she's having a baby," when encountering someone with a weight problem.
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the office equivalent of the disgruntled coffee shop employee
Intelligent underachievers who feel their work environments are suppressive and prevent them from realizing their full creative potential.
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Alpha Weasels

Backstabbing employees whose inflated ambitions and obsessions with work cause people not to like them and sabotages their chances for advancement
Alpha Weasels are often too consumed by their ambitions to have a life beyond the walls of the office.
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Twister Uncles

Family members with shifty eyes and overly friendly hugs who discover their affectionate side when their cousins and nieces buy their first training bra.
Whereas flirtatious grandpas are usually written off as being harmless, Twister Uncles sometimes require a tongue-lashing from Cousin Willy.
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Flourettes

Seemingly polite and conventional people who intermittently make offensive, fleeting Tourette's-like statements to catch people off guard.
Flourettes enjoy peppering their conversation with unexpectedly rude comments to prove they aren't as tame as they seem.
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