Rikstir's definitions

procaffination

The inability to make a decision until you've had a cup of coffee.

Make me a coffe I'm flawed by procaffination today.

by Rikstir February 5, 2014

I couldn't give a flying monkey's arsehole

The combination of two English exclamations, in order to give extra gravitas to the fact that you don't care.

I couldn't give a flying fuck, and I couldn't give a monkey's arsehole.

Karen says she's offended, well I couldn't give a flying monkey's arsehole.

by Rikstir May 30, 2025

The Woke Folk

The Woke Folk are predominantly; white, middle class, and relatively wealthy. These people are so utterly obsessed with how other people see them: That they spend their whole lives virtue signalling, and engaging in fashion statement politics. They are so determined to present themselves as; progressive, altruistic, and outraged by injustice: They will jump onto any and every, pseudo political bandwagon, the mainstream media, and education system tell them to.

Still trying to explain reality to the Woke Folk: Talk about flogging a dead horse.

by Rikstir August 18, 2020

you'll get splinters

A derogatory rebuff to someone who is constantly sitting on the fence.

Grow some balls and form an opinion or you'll get splinters.

by Rikstir February 4, 2014

Bullshit Baffles Brains

Although the other definitions make sense, I've always associated a different meaning to this term. Bullshit Baffles Brains is a military term, I first heard it in the army thirty years ago. Rather than an attempt to deceive a third party, it is a description of the way the officers (management) and procedures are so filled with unnecessary and pointless bullshit, that they defy all logic and the fact that our glorious leaders had totally bought into that bullshit.

They want use to parade for the combat exercise in our best uniforms and change into our battle gear once we get into the field, talk about bullshit baffles brains.

by Rikstir April 28, 2017

Tarquin & Margo

Fictional charachters invented by band Resisting Dystopia, in order to describe upper middlclass white people who pretend to be left wing as a fashion statement.

Stop being such a pair of melts, you fucking Tarquin & Margo!

by Rikstir July 20, 2019

Sublurb

A sublurb is an area that is neither; rural, urban, or even suburban.

Sublurbia offers the worst of all worlds; a scarsness of eminities, and little public transport, but a population density, far too high to offer any real peace or serenity.

A walk in sublurbia might take you down miles of leavy foot paths (heavily littered with; small, black, plastic bags, full of dog shit) but you would never be more than a few hundred yards from some sort of residence.

Expensive gated properties line the main roads, but there's always; a wrong turn, toe munching, inbreed council estates just round the corner, that only the locals know about.

Virginia Waters in Surrey, and Sandhurst in Berkshire are two good examples.

This area is horrible, it's not one thing or the other, it's a sublurb.

by Rikstir January 6, 2019