Rick Roberson's definitions

bumfoozler

(n.) An aged, male homosexual.

Your grandfather won't keep his eyes off my ass. He's a fucking bumfoozler, man. You're not a faggot, too, are you??

by Rick Roberson February 1, 2010

tossing the toenails

(v. gerund) A euphemism for really puking one's guts out to the max... major vomiting action.

See also: blowing lunch and barf meat.

Betty: Did you enjoy the party last night, Rob?

Rob: Yes, but I drank too much and I upchucked all night long.

Betty: So did I!!! I was blowing lunch until two o'clock this morning.

Rob: I'm sure I swallowed some barf meat.

Betty: Did it taste good?

Rob: Hell NO, bitch! What kind of pervert do you think I am?

Betty: Oh, I don't think you're a pervert, dude. I only asked because the baloney sandwich I had for lunch yesterday tasted better when I was tossing the toenails earlier this morning.

by Rick Roberson January 26, 2010

fucking face

(verb/gerund) The definition should be self-explanatory: something only a male can do. To fuck a face is to repeatedly ram your cock into the mouth of an individual. In most cases, the mouth is a more-than-adequate substitute for the preferred vagina or anus.

Fucking face is a very popular past-time for gay male couples and heterosexual couples. Anyone can suck face, but lesbians cannot truly fuck face for obvious reasons. In their case, the tongue is a more-than-adequate substitute for the depraved penis.

Lola: "Hey Steve, why didn't you guys come to my party last night?"

Steve: "Oh, Bruce and I started fucking face and couldn't stop."

Lola: "Well you missed all the fun! Darren gave Chuck a rusty trombone and I sat on Joe's face!"

Steve: "Well, fuck me dead and bury me pregnant!"

by Rick Roberson January 26, 2011

twat penis

(n./slang) A synonym for clitoris.

Husband: Suppose we'll be having sexual intercourse tonight, dear?

Wife: Oh yes, definitely, sweetheart!

Husband: Anything in particular you'd like me to do?

Wife: Yes! I love it when you rub your penis on my twat penis, baby! Now let me make a man out of you!

Husband: Excuse me, dear, but what in the hell is a "twat penis?"

Wife: Go look it up in the Urban Dictionary, honey! Then give me nine inches and make it HURT!

Husband: Oh no, not again! I'll have to screw you three times and knock you over the head with a frying pan!

by Rick Roberson January 26, 2011

cuntstipation

(n.) Occurs when rock-solid fecal matter is ejected from the vagina onto a person or object, or into an appropriate container.

For our younger, more sensitive readers, cuntstipation is when shit comes out of a girl's pussy (snatch, twat, cunt, meat wallet).

Husband: "Suppose we'll be having sexual intercourse tonight, sweetheart?"

Wife: "Oh no, not tonight, honey... I'm having a bad case of cuntstipation."

Husband: "It's okay, dear. I was just having a sperm-retention headache."

by Rick Roberson April 21, 2011

Boo Foo buddies

(n) Boo Foo is homonymous with BuFu, which means "Butt Fuck." This is a widely preferred practice in the society of male homosexuals. So Butt Fuck buddies (or Boo Foo buddies) like to take turns pounding the shit out of each other.

See also: mud stud

Homo Man 1: Who were those two guys over by the dick dancers that tried to hustle you?

Homo Man 2: Oh, just two Boo Foo buddies I used to trick with. They're both named "Bob."

Homo Man 1: So I guess they're Oral Roberts, right?

Homo Man 2: Very funny, you fucking faggot... NOT!!!

by Rick Roberson December 20, 2010

Hello, girls!

(greeting) What a blind man says when walking in close proximity to a fish market.

Zippa-dee-doo-dah, zippa-dee-day... Oh! Hello, girls!

by Rick Roberson June 14, 2010