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Definitions by Raul (comes out at night)

Wild Deuce Chase 

The period of time when you have to take a #2 so badly and are frantically trying to locate the nearest toilet.
After parking his car illegally in the handicapped spot, Dan clenched as hard as he could on his wild deuce chase to the washroom at the far end of the Wal-Mart Supercenter.

Asshole Lane 

The lane on a highway directly adjacent to an off ramp lane where Assholes try to cut in at the very last possible second to avoid a line up. This generates new traffic in the asshole lane and a subsequent chain reaction into neighboring lanes.

It is a major root of rush hour traffic on highways worldwide.
Passenger: "Dude get out of this lane quick"
Driver: "Why?"
Passenger: "Because it's the asshole lane!"
Driver: "Thanks you are so wise"

horn junkie 

An idiot who completely blocks traffic through an intersection by trying to go forward or make a left turn when there is clearly nowhere to go, then receives a violent orchestra of horns that rivals Beethoven's 9th symphony.

The horn junkie is a major cause of rush hour gridlock.
"Come on lady! *HONK* *HONK* *HONK*"

"That horn junkie is just asking for it"

"Mommy I'm scared why are all the people honking at us?"
The alternative to a Hi Five or handshake you use to prevent catching a disease during an epidemic.

To deliever the H1 N1ve simply make a fist and make contact with the other person's fist in any fashion.
After the hockey game both teams went to shake hands but instead gave eachother H1 N1ves.

Jizz Snake 

A small male Northern Pike that, when caught in the spring, blows a load all over you when trying to get the hook out of it's mouth.
Fish On! Oh wait it's just another fucking jizz snake.

Jizz Snorkel 

When you haven't seen your woman in so long that you bust such a major cum flood all over her that she needs a breathing apparatus.
Also, you should make sure she has a lifejacket as she will probably be swimming in a few months worth of jizz when you bust a nut... At least give the girl a jizz snorkel.

Stempniak 

Someone who misses the net by 15 feet on a breakaway/penalty shot/shoot-out.

Can also refer to missing a target by a very wide margin.

Named after the originator of this move, Lee Stempniak, on a shoot-out miss to lose the game for the Toronto Maple Leafs on February 19, 2009 vs. Columbus BlueJackets.
"He shoots, he Stempniaks"

"What a loser, he just Stempniak'd that shot! "

"Way to go, Stempniak".