QuacksO's definitions

p,i.t.b.u.l.l.

Acronym for “Pain In The Butt Unless Liberally Liquored”. Refers to a whiny spoiled-rotten individual who exhibits selfish immature “canine” tendencies (making lots of noise and creating messy chaos, getting underfoot and wanting constant attention when others are busy, sniffing and nuzzling everyone continuously, etc.), and whose disruptive behavior subsides only at times when he is totally passed out from excessive alcohol intake.

I have to bring my lazy good-fer-nuthin' brother a twelve-pack every day. or he's a bleepin' p,i.t.b.u.l.l.!

by QuacksO December 11, 2013

flutterbuy

Refers to an attractive female's “purchasing” of a mushy-hearted male's compliance/forgiveness/assistance/generosity by giving him a wheedling smile and batting her eyelashes. Often spoken about in a disgusted/sarcastic tone by a fellow male who was not present at the time of said “transaction”, and so he cannot really have any way of knowing for sure if HE HIMSELF might have been hopelessly “melted”, also, if he had been in his buddy's shoes. Daisy Duke is known to be something of an expert at this sort of thing, frequently using her beauty and charm to mellow the otherwise hard-nosed Hazzard County officials and get them to go easier on her two somewhat-reckless cousins.

Recently-arrived museum ticket agent: You mean to tell me that you let that giggle of girls in for FREE?!?!??? Are you outta yer mind, dude?!??

Starry-eyed ticket agent whom he is relieving: Oh, I couldn't help it... they gave me such warm sweet simpery smiles and flapped their long exquisite eyelashes at me in such an alluringly flirty manner that so I just couldn’t bear to charge them anything.

Recently-arrived museum ticket agent: Ahhhh... they pulled the ole' “flutterbuy routine” on you, did they??

by QuacksO December 29, 2013

Sadderday

The unsatisfying day at the end of the week when people on a diet are compelled to ditch their dissipative junk-food routine and only eat flavor-impaired less-filling low-calorie health foods. Can be especially distressing after the previous 24-hour period, Fryday, which is the one glorious day of the week when they are allowed to indulge in all their debauched gluttonous chowing down of rich greasy salty deep-fried delights.

Wife #1: What's with your husband today? He hath that lean and hungry look.

Wife #2: Oh, it's nothing, really, dear... he's just feeling the classic “Sadderday syndrome” after stuffing his face with burgers and fries all day yesterday.

by QuacksO December 29, 2013

collarship

An all-expenses-waived course for Fido to attend obedience school or any other canine-related educational establishment.

Certain members of Man's best friends may qualify for a full collarship, such as those who are exceptionally even-tempered, are registered therapy-dogs, or are extra-intelligent canines who are being trained to assist disabled people.

by QuacksO January 22, 2015

guy equation

A simple algebra-type (A, B, C, and D) formula that illustrates the primary brain activity of a typical male when viewing members of the opposite gender.

She: Why do you want to know what size bra I wear?
He: Oh, just 'cause I'm a guy, and so I follow the guy equation --- A. We're guys. B. Guys love boobs. C. Double-D.

by QuacksO January 24, 2015

official meaning

A savvy person's correct interpretation of what a two-faced public OFFICIAL (policeman, politician, etc) truly MEANS by a seemingly harmless/helpful/conciliatory remark.

Hall monitor, to delinquent student whom he is chasing: "I just want to talk to you."
"Official" meaning (what "The Book" states that the security guard supposedly means): "I'm not going to detain or even lay a hand on you --- I merely wish to verbally ask you what your issues are, sympathetically discuss them with you, and try to help you find a solution that will be palatable to all concerned parties."
Official meaning (what the dude with the badge is really saying): "You're in big trouble, kid --- I don't give a rat's ass what you say or how innocent you are; I'm gonna slap da cuffs on you and put you in detention! It's how I get my rocks off."

Delinquency-hearing board-member, to an under-review adolescent who is peering uncertainly around the meeting-room door: "Come on in and sit down, young man --- we don't bite."
"Official" meaning: "You have noithng to fear from us, son --- we're totally fair and just, and we only wish to hear your case and decide appropriate discipline, if any."
Official meaning: "We fat cats around this table are all in cahoots, and we enjoy makiing things warm for 'unpopular' youngsters like you. We practically have the power of life or death over you, and we gleefully use that power, too."

by QuacksO January 26, 2015

Sturgeon General

A top government official who oversees the health of the world's fish population.

Warning: The Sturgeon General has determined that mercury is hazardous to a fish's health.

by QuacksO February 24, 2015