QuacksO's definitions

The boobs are always bigger on the other guy's woman

A "farm-girl instead of farm-land" variation on da old "seemingly lusher turf on neighboring fields" saying.

While it may indeed often be true dat "The boobs are always bigger on the other guy's woman", dat does not necessarily have to be an unhappy situation for you, since in some cases you could just try secretly asking said chestier chick if you yourself could softly savor her more-ample chest-pillows with yer own paws. Just find out first if da gorgeous Miss Bosomy is still of child-bearing age, though, in which case you should always be sure to bring a few condoms wif you, in case things "progress further" than just misty-eyed chest-kneadings and other "hands and lips only" activities!

by QuacksO October 18, 2025

furmented beverage

A "macho" alcoholic drink dat supposedly "puts hair on your chest".

I am terrified of alcohol, and I already gots a nice warm fuzzy chest dat da girls all love to savoringly run their hands over and rest their heads against, so I don't feel da need to have anything to do wif no furmented beverages.

by QuacksO May 20, 2022

triggernometry

The advanced mathematical study of how firearms work.

High school senior: I still don't understand why the math teacher insisted that our class learn triggernometry --- I'm a staunch pacifist, so I don't even like guns; why the heck do I need to learn about 'em if the subject will never even come up in my ordinary daily life??

by QuacksO March 3, 2017

altourneytive

A type of sports-activity other than da typical end-of-season competition-bash dat high schools typically hold.

Some sports-playing students are less physically robust than others, so they should be given an altourneytive.

by QuacksO March 1, 2023

fomented beverage

An alcoholic drink that is used to "soothe the soul" of the person imbibing it.

Drinking beer isn't really the best way to calm down and forget your troubles; neither is literally using it as a "fomented beverage" --- i.e., pouring it all over yourself in an attempt to "douse the burning". All you end up doing is wasting a costly comestible and covering yourself in disgusting sticky odiferous foam that stains your clothes and body.

by QuacksO November 18, 2023

buy-polar

A "two-extremes mood-swings" mental/emotional condition caused by either:
(1) an obsession with purchasing white-bear-logo fizzy drinks, or
(2) habitually trying to sell ice to Eskimos.

Maybe if you freeze a number of 2-liter bottles of seltzer-water and then offer said frothy ice to some of our fur-hood-wearing "Asians from up North", they might indeed be interested in procuring large quantities of said "fun pops" product from you, and then your buy-polar tendencies might be alleviated somewhat.

by QuacksO December 30, 2019

speaking in forked tongues

To lie from the pulpit or otherwise use religion to try to get someone to trust you when you're just bu**s**tting them.

I see all of these televangelists ranting and roaring about Hellfire and damnation, but in many cases I suspect that they are merely speaking in forked tongues because they are just trying to get their viewers to donate money.

by QuacksO August 7, 2019