QuacksO's definitions

massive-airflow sensor

An electronic device to measure da frequency and/or degree of your farts.

Generally speaking, you wouldn't need a massive-airflow sensor to keep tabs on your butt-splutters: people's ears --- and often their noses, as well --- will be totally aware of each and "every toot you make" and "every wind you break"! (Have I been watching too much Weird Al???)

by QuacksO February 29, 2024

de-posit

Refers to da sour-faced "significant reducing of da total-amount figure" action performed by da irritated bank-teller who processes da night/weekend deposits, after she actually **counts** da cash or totals up da checks dat you placed in da deposit-envelope and inserted into da night-depository, only to discover dat da supposedly-large amount dat you'd claimed to have deposited when you'd filled in da "deposit amount" line on da envelope was grossly "inflated" --- i.e., you claimed to have deposited a sizeable amount, when in reality you had merely left a few bucks in the envelope! Well, serves you right --- I mean, you didn't truly believe dat da teller wasn't gonna actually COUNT da cash or checks in da envelope to CONFIRM dat you really had deposited as much as you'd claimed you did, didja??? I mean, zheee-yeesh... if bank-tellers always just unquestioningly trusted da stated amounts of people's deposits, then many folks would just gleefully scribble in some astronomical amount whenever they made a "non-face-to-face" deposit (i.e., not making da deposit in person, where da teller would count it right there in front of you), and then da banks would be obliged to credit da depositers with a lot of unearned income!

I'm an honest guy, and so I've never tried to actually deceive a bank into crediting me for more money than I'd actually deposited; the farthest I've ever gone is to merely play a little joke on the teller by inserting a phony million-dollar bill in among the fives and tens in the deposit envelope before deadpanningly handing it to the teller, and then seeing the teller's surprised/amused reaction when she sees the obviously-fake "bar-M" bill. The teller then performs a quick "de-posit" to accurately record the much-more-paltry sum that I'm actually submitting, and then smugly hands me back the gag-bill along with my deposit-receipt.

by QuacksO October 2, 2020

pepidemic

Da widespread abuse of stimulants.

Coffee and stimulant-imbued soft drinks are super-heavily consumed in da state of Missizippy, with everyone whizzing about in a frenzied cafffeine-buzz --- there is an absolute pepidemic there!

by QuacksO June 30, 2020

Boiseterous

Da noisily-festive status of Idaho's capital city during any major gala event.

My tastes in recreation run more towards drifting quietly around da pond in my rowboat and going for serene relaxing nature-trail strolls, so I prefer to avoid da Boiseterous big-city goings-on whenever I visit da Potato State.

by QuacksO March 14, 2022

obeadyent

Following specified rules regarding da stringing up of necklaces and bracelets.

T'ain't no fun bein' watched like a hawk by an overseer with small glittery eyeballs while taking jewelry-making classes... rather than making everyone be obeadyent, let yer **pupils** (get it? Eyes? :P) have some creative freedom in da colors, sizes, and arrangements of da decorative spheres dat they're each assembling into something unique and expressive.

by QuacksO January 13, 2025

surjury

Heavy-duty treatment to rid someone of his addiction to courtroom-drama.

I try hard to stay out of legal trouble myself, and programs like Law & Order, People's Court, or CSI don't appeal to me, anyway, so I would not likely ever need surjury!

by QuacksO November 7, 2023

religious engine-cranking

Onomatopoeia description for the sound of a starter-motor.

When cold-starting a vehicle with a carburetor instead of fuel injection, one should use this religious engine-cranking method:
(1) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor twice. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(2) Crank the engine for one second. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(3) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor two more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine for one second again. ("Jesuit-esuit")
(5) Push-and-release the gas-pedal to the floor three more times. ("Pumpa-pumpa-pumpa")
(4) Crank the engine again for several rotations; it should start this time. ("Jesuit-esuit-esuit-esuit-vrOOOOM!!")

by QuacksO September 30, 2020