QuacksO's definitions

Philippian tubes

Where Greek babies came from "way back when".

If your little one asks you "The Question", you can semi-clearly utter, "Philippian tubes" and show him/her a map of the northern-Aegean-Sea area. That way, you are giving an essentially-truthful answer, while still "keeping the conversation G-rated" --- i.e., without divulging any actual "adult-themed" info. Plus said youngster will likely become either bored or "info-overloaded" while staring at the map, and thus will forget about his/her original question.

by QuacksO February 26, 2025

diere prediction

Refers to any horrendous-possible-future-event statement like, "You will almost certainly drop dead if you don't buy/do this" that is made by someone who often is just selfishly trying to manipulate you into bowing to their wishes/ideas. Under ordinary circumstances, about the only type of thing that would be of valid concern would be something like smoking or taking certain medications.

During my visit to the ER with acute pleurisy during the late fall of '02, the doctor --- probably in a selfish effort to further milk MaineCare --- attempted to scare me into having my appendix removed by informing me that I would "very likely" not survive unless I had that operation. I knew that it was just an inflamed pleural sac, though, so in spite of the doctor's diere prediction, I said no thank you, and took a cab home. My sister gave me some calcium pills and I rested in bed for most of the morning and afternoon, and then the following day I was actually recovered enough to "bundle up like a mummy" and walk a mile through the bitter cold to visit some friends. That was well over fifteen years ago, and I'm still alive and kickin'!

by QuacksO March 29, 2019

chocolate-milk alternative

Refers to a "just as bad or worse" substitution-product/activity employed to supposedly "fill the void" created by a discontinued unhealthy habit --- the idea here is that while the milk itself may indeed be low-fat, the added calorie-rich and sugary-sweet chocolate has far more fattening ingredients than just the cream in full-fat milk could possibly have contained, and so the person will likely gain even more weight than ever.

Three classic --- and very tragic --- examples of a "chocolate-milk alternative" would be a substance-abuse recovery-program's giving a dry-drunk lots of high-sugar foods in place of alcohol, someone's switching to compulsive shopping in place of gambling, or a person's becoming harshly-snappy and irritably-demanding after giving up cigarettes.

by QuacksO November 5, 2018

even a baby could do it

Yeah, sure --- if the baby in question was Einstein or Hulk Hogan before he grew up.

Often when an adult snortingly grumbles that, "Even a baby could do it!" when a child either doesn't understand instructions or is too timid/weak to perform some action, the truth is that the grownup is **himself** not able to explain or carry out the task, either, and so he is merely trying to make himself feel better by verbally putting down the poor innocent child. Pathetic.

by QuacksO July 23, 2019

maleise

Feeling unwell or anxious due to having too many orchid-necklaces around your neck at one time.

I love visiting Hawaii, and I always enjoy being welcomingly greeted by lots of lovely brown-skinned damsels; I was warned about da possibility of maleise, though, and so da way I avoid dat hazard is to "pass along" (i.e., take them off and place them around other tourists' necks) some of my flower-necklaces if I accumulate more than three or four of dem in a short period.

by QuacksO June 24, 2021

conspirasea

Ocean-based hanky-panky carried out by more than one cooperating mariners.

Da infamous sword-waving sailors who sold corn for da "highway robbery" price of a "buck an ear" --- okay, I'm kidding, but you get da idea --- were "working together on da salty billows" --- i.e., in "conspirasea" --- to rob other ships, and so da correctly-spelled word "consPIRACY" really fits da bill, as well.

by QuacksO August 7, 2025

driplomat

Someone whom you send to politely tell a building-owner dat he has a leak somewhere.

In da famous "boy with his finger in da dike" tale, said heroic youth would gladly have been a driplomat and run to courteously inform da townspeople dat da ocean-water was starting to leak through da wall, but he was afraid dat if da water was allowed to keep flowing through da eroded channel in da porous berm, said chink would grow too big and cause a disastrous flood before da villagers could get back to make repairs.

by QuacksO November 8, 2022