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Professor Simon J. Futtbucker's definitions

Shitstachio

When you are eating pistachios and invariably one goes in your mouth that tastes like a bucket of shit. Aka, a 'bad' one.
"Ughh! Aghhh!" Cries Mickey, spitting out green fragments.
"Garsh," Said Goofy. "What happened Mick?"
"Eeeeew. I was eating pistachios and suddenly one of them tasted... well, like shit!" said Mickey frowning.
"More like 'Shitstachios'!" Laughed Goofy.
mugGet the Shitstachiomug.

Shit Tag

A fun game, where if you know you are about to have an especially revolting shit, you enclose your phone in a zip-lock bag and leave it in the bathroom you just destroyed. Close the door behind you and begin complaining that you can't find your phone. A friend or family member will eventually dial it, hear it in the bathroom and will be so smug to discover it's location that they'll just barge in to grab it, violating their nostrils when they enter.
Daughter: (gagging) "I found your phone! Why is it in a plastic bag?"
You: Shit Tag! You're it!
by Professor Simon J. Futtbucker September 19, 2020
mugGet the Shit Tagmug.

robohomo

One who sucks off robotic penises, until their mouths and other connected organs are filled to capacity with white, voluminous, vapored jizz. They then expel the electronic love fluids out of their mouth and nose into the paths of bystanders or out of their car windows, in a celebration of milking chrome, illuminated automaton cocks until they repeat the cycle a few seconds later.
(Walking through a cloud of expelled, digital spooge) "Cough, cough! Go suck your robot's cock somewhere else, you fucking robohomo!" ~ His Highness, the Dalai Lama
mugGet the robohomomug.

dirtless-sanchez

When you walk past a dispenser of alcohol sanitizing agent, you squirt a nice amount into your hand and then slap it across your mark's face, yelling, "Dirtless-Sanchez!"

They can't be too pissed off, after all, you just cleaned their lips for them.
Goofy, spitting nails: "That fuck'in Mickey-- he done got me agin!"
Donald: "What did that goddamn rat do this time?"
Goofy: Well, when I was just walking into the Disney store, Mickey filled his hand with sanitizing gel and slapped it across my face! Then he yelled, 'Dirtless-Sanchez!'"
Donald: "I know! It burned my fucking beak for a full day!"
mugGet the dirtless-sanchezmug.

Bukkacne

When your significant other is squeezing a massive pimple and gets their face spackled with shooting sticky sebum.
Mickey: "Remember that huge zit on my back?"
Goofy: "Yeah, the size of a bird's egg. Why?"
Mickey: "I had Minnie bust it last night and it shot all over her face and up her nose."
Goofy: "Garsh! Like one of those Jap'nese movies-- Bukkake!"
Mickey: "More like Bukkacne!"
mugGet the Bukkacnemug.

Makeup Sex

Where you apply makeup on your face and then jack off while raining down tears in front of a full-length mirror.
Goofy: "Gosh Mick-- I heard that Minnie packed up her things and left you?"
Mickey: "Huh Huh! Actually, she came back, apologized and afterwards we had great makeup sex!"
Goofy: "...Is that lipstick on your mouth?"
Mickey, wiping it off nervously: "Huh huh! It must be hers!"
mugGet the Makeup Sexmug.

Torremolinos

A coastal resort in Spain near Malaga. Once called an 'adult's Disneyland' in the 1980's when it had a female to male ratio of 7 to 1. There were a few transvestites then.

In the 1990's Eastern-European neo-nazis moved in and the town fell into disrepair. The transvestites somehow mated successfully. Moroccans started arriving and crime went sky-high!

Today, it's FILLED with so much gay action that your asshole looks like a windsock by the time you return home. Filthy moroccans everywhere!
"We're in T-town (Torremolinos)! I don't see any hot chicks yet... lets ask these two gentlemen walking poodles where they could be?"

Monty Python: "Torremolinos! Torremolinos!" Actually, The ones that infected Graham Chapman are probably dead now too.
mugGet the Torremolinosmug.

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