39 definitions by Pollup
Imagine you're getting head from a chunky fat chick. She drops to her knees, causing a thunderous, earthquake-like shimmy in your house as she hits the floor. You look her in the eyes, disgusted at yourself for your disgusting fat chick blow job habit. Sick.
Before she envelops your cock with her slovenly horse gullet, you cram your finger up your nose and pull out the filthiest booger in history. You slather it all over your cock and cry "give me a salty cabbage, baby!"
She complies. And cries a little afterwards.
Before she envelops your cock with her slovenly horse gullet, you cram your finger up your nose and pull out the filthiest booger in history. You slather it all over your cock and cry "give me a salty cabbage, baby!"
She complies. And cries a little afterwards.
by Pollup October 19, 2007
When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.
You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.
She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 17, 2008
When the tensions between two or more rival gangs reaches a critical point in which the outcomes of any violent act would be devastating to all parties.
In the early 1990s, when Whitey's control over street gangs was much more pronounced, the main fear during a situation of Street Brinkmanship was that violence would spill into the suburbs and cause the hammer of the white devil to fall from the sky. As a result, Street Brinkmanship was maintained through the practice of having satellite affiliate gangs perform indirect attacks on gang assets through much milder warfare. The warfare was often set up to look like "some crackhead" got his hands on a gun and blew a whole bunch of motherfuckers away.
Into the early 2000s, however, Whitey's control over street gang activities became less obvious (although farther reaching and exponentially more sophisticated). Only the most intelligent gang members were able to steer their "Ghetto Pirate Ships" through the webs of deceit that were woven by evil "Prime Movers" who governed the urban underworld from back rooms in sinister-looking high-rises. It was imperative, therefore, for all gangs to protect the unsettled peace that was imposed upon them for fear of repercussions unimaginable to mortal men.
In the early 1990s, when Whitey's control over street gangs was much more pronounced, the main fear during a situation of Street Brinkmanship was that violence would spill into the suburbs and cause the hammer of the white devil to fall from the sky. As a result, Street Brinkmanship was maintained through the practice of having satellite affiliate gangs perform indirect attacks on gang assets through much milder warfare. The warfare was often set up to look like "some crackhead" got his hands on a gun and blew a whole bunch of motherfuckers away.
Into the early 2000s, however, Whitey's control over street gang activities became less obvious (although farther reaching and exponentially more sophisticated). Only the most intelligent gang members were able to steer their "Ghetto Pirate Ships" through the webs of deceit that were woven by evil "Prime Movers" who governed the urban underworld from back rooms in sinister-looking high-rises. It was imperative, therefore, for all gangs to protect the unsettled peace that was imposed upon them for fear of repercussions unimaginable to mortal men.
Crip #1: I wanted to fuck that motherfucker up, but my man, Slimey, will let "The Old Man in the Tower" know about it and he'll feed my family to pigs.
Crip #2: That's fucked, man. I wish it was like the old days where you could go out and blast a motherfucker without having to get permission from some old white dude. The Bloods been waitin' for this motherfuckin' shit and we's afraid to deliver.
Crip #1: Chill it, bro. Let's keep waitin'. I don't want get no cement shoes or nothin'. A niggah will get his own when he has it comin'. Maintain, motherfucker. Maintain the Street Brinkmanship. Let's get us some tacos.
Crip #2: A'ight.
Crip #2: That's fucked, man. I wish it was like the old days where you could go out and blast a motherfucker without having to get permission from some old white dude. The Bloods been waitin' for this motherfuckin' shit and we's afraid to deliver.
Crip #1: Chill it, bro. Let's keep waitin'. I don't want get no cement shoes or nothin'. A niggah will get his own when he has it comin'. Maintain, motherfucker. Maintain the Street Brinkmanship. Let's get us some tacos.
Crip #2: A'ight.
by Pollup December 29, 2007
All systems of gang governance are now controlled by old white men who reside in sinister-looking high-rises that overlook cities.
No matter how powerful a gang, the leader ALWAYS has to answer to an old white guy in a tower. The old white guy is the Prime Mover of the entire urban gang warfare in any given city. He always has an intimidating entourage of other giant white guys who are trained to ignore emasculating insults that come from black gang leaders who report once a month.
If the old white man needs an assassination performed, his entourage will gladly take on the task and have a preconceived "catch phrase" to mutter when they kill.
Even though there are powerful street warlords, all of them are aware of where the money-making machinery is being driven - it is always in those dark, sinister towers in which the old white men reside.
No matter how powerful a gang, the leader ALWAYS has to answer to an old white guy in a tower. The old white guy is the Prime Mover of the entire urban gang warfare in any given city. He always has an intimidating entourage of other giant white guys who are trained to ignore emasculating insults that come from black gang leaders who report once a month.
If the old white man needs an assassination performed, his entourage will gladly take on the task and have a preconceived "catch phrase" to mutter when they kill.
Even though there are powerful street warlords, all of them are aware of where the money-making machinery is being driven - it is always in those dark, sinister towers in which the old white men reside.
Did you pay your dues to the Prime Mover?
Yeah, that motherfucker is some scary shit. But I insulted his goons. I'm tough.
Yeah, that motherfucker is some scary shit. But I insulted his goons. I'm tough.
by Pollup December 29, 2007
America is probably the worst country in the world. Not surprisingly, 50% of its occupants also think it sucks ass. Think about it - can you name a country in the world in which at least half of its citizens think it sucks? Nope. Even Somalians love their country more than Americans do.
Boy, I hate living in America, don't you?
Yep. I shore do, buckwheat. I shore do.
Wanna go start a pointless war to distract our fellow citizens from reality?
Good idea. See you there. Bring your child raping kit and some grenades.
Ok.
Yep. I shore do, buckwheat. I shore do.
Wanna go start a pointless war to distract our fellow citizens from reality?
Good idea. See you there. Bring your child raping kit and some grenades.
Ok.
by Pollup August 6, 2008
What you get after fucking a guy in the ass when he hasn't taken a dump in a few days. A Penis covered in Poo.
Grandpa (in a pirate voice): arrrrrgggg, Billy. Me matey. Shiver me anus!
Billy: first mate reporting for duty!
Grandpa: 'tis a fine instrument you got there, Billy. All hands on the poop deck.
Billy: oh Gramps. Here it comes...
Grandpa: garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. That's the stuff.
10 minutes later:
Billy: awwwwww - sick. Grandpa, I have a Poonis.
Grandpa: yarrrr. Gross. Time for a colostomy bag...
Billy: first mate reporting for duty!
Grandpa: 'tis a fine instrument you got there, Billy. All hands on the poop deck.
Billy: oh Gramps. Here it comes...
Grandpa: garrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. That's the stuff.
10 minutes later:
Billy: awwwwww - sick. Grandpa, I have a Poonis.
Grandpa: yarrrr. Gross. Time for a colostomy bag...
by Pollup August 8, 2008
Something you say when someone enthusiastically tells you about something that you think is retarded. It generally gives them the impression that you care, but provides an opportunity to get into a new conversation without being rude.
Excellent for dealing with co-workers who tell you about "their crazy weekend," when your weekend was in fact 18 times crazier and involved at least two activities that were illegal.
Excellent for dealing with co-workers who tell you about "their crazy weekend," when your weekend was in fact 18 times crazier and involved at least two activities that were illegal.
"Morning Charlie. Man, I had the craziest weekend ever! I had three beers and totally danced up a storm at the bar. It was the neatest time ever."
*(internal monologue): holy crap...this guy sucks ass. I wonder what he would say if I told him about my weekend. Let's see, I did about 16 grams of shrooms, chugged a bottle of whiskey, and then smoked a whole bunch of weed. Then I thought I saw Jesus and chased him down the street with an axe. I woke up in a pool of vomit in Mexico and had to hitch a ride back home with some illegal immigrants...
"Wow, Frank, that sure sounds like a lot of fun! Good times...Anyway - see you later."
*(internal monologue): holy crap...this guy sucks ass. I wonder what he would say if I told him about my weekend. Let's see, I did about 16 grams of shrooms, chugged a bottle of whiskey, and then smoked a whole bunch of weed. Then I thought I saw Jesus and chased him down the street with an axe. I woke up in a pool of vomit in Mexico and had to hitch a ride back home with some illegal immigrants...
"Wow, Frank, that sure sounds like a lot of fun! Good times...Anyway - see you later."
by Pollup November 24, 2007