Politic Ric's definitions

Roll Reversal

The act of flipping a roll of toilet paper around on its holder, so the paper comes off from the back of the roll, instead of the front.

“Man, I spun that roll a dozen times before I realized you had done a roll reversal on me!”

by Politic Ric April 28, 2012

cruntch

The combination of the words crazy, cunt and bitch. This word is used to describe a girl or woman who has a paranoid, psycho, schizo or bipolar personality (or personalities) combined with vicious, vulgar or abusive tendencies. Most of us know a friend or family member who is dating or living with one.

R: “She gives me the creeps. I never know if she’s going to be nasty or nice.”
J: “Most of the time, she’s a real cruntch!”

by Politic Ric May 26, 2010

Food Stamp Filets

It’s a well-known fact that many families receiving Food Stamps eat like millionaires. While most of the population gets by on fatty ground beef and frozen dinners, Food Stampers feast on Filet Mignon, New York Strip, lobster tails and crab legs. If eating like this still isn’t enough to spend their entire monthly food handout, they then resort to throwing parties and cookouts just to use up the stamps. Of course, the concept of not spending every dime of their government handout, stocking up on non-perishables, or donating some of the excess food to a charitable organization is out of the question.

“Awesome! I just got invited to C’s cookout again! Last time I went, I had a couple Food Stamp Filets at her house, then she gave me four more to take home!”

by Politic Ric June 2, 2010

Trailer Trash Trifecta

Collecting Welfare, Social Security and Child Support every month, without ever lifting a finger – except for going to the mailbox and the bank.

“Wow, since she figured out who the father is, she’s been riding the Trailer Trash Trifecta!”

by Politic Ric May 26, 2010

hockey mom

Sarah Palin’s folksy, self-proclaimed description of herself, followed by her assertion that the only difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is lipstick – therefore publicly admitting that she walks on four legs, has eight nipples, a tail and greets her friends by sniffing their assholes. (And within the Tea Party, that’s a whole lot of sniffing!)

Man 1: Let’s put some lipstick on that pitbull and turn it into a hockey mom.
Man 2: Better yet, let’s put some lipstick and glasses on it and turn it into Sarah Palin!

by Politic Ric October 22, 2010

Political Karma

When John McCain and the GOP launched their ‘America First’ campaign in 2008, it soon became painfully obvious that it was nothing more than a campaign slogan with the ‘demographic over qualifications’ pick of Sarah Palin as his running mate. Within a matter of days it became evident that Palin had no concept of what the vice president’s job entailed, no insight to the political arena beyond the “Leaving Wasilla” road sign in south-central Alaska and was very poorly read.

Palin cost McCain the election and was snubbed by the Republican Party. So what’s a pitbull in lipstick to do? Write a book, quit your job, pack up the Governor’s Mansion, and hit the road to stir the ‘Real Americans’ into a psychotic frenzy by promising them a way to ‘Take Back America.’

Two years later, through a politically cruel twist of fate for the GOP, Sarah Palin, along with such pseudo celebrities as Glen Beck, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh, now commands the largest contingent of misfits in the history of American politics – The Tea Party – and they’re splitting the Republican Party right down the middle.

Although the Tea Party doesn’t yet have the numbers to win seats in the big elections, they do have the numbers to take votes away from the other candidates so they can’t win them either – and where are most of these votes coming from? The Republican Party. How’s that for Political Karma?

by Politic Ric October 26, 2010

Teatard

A person who believes one or more of the Tea Party’s slant on today’s political issues. Many of their rants are so bizarre and without basis that they weren’t taken seriously until the movement had grown to an alarming collection of right-wing extremists, thus proving that the number of insane people currently residing in the US was grossly underestimated. Some of their more bigoted, racist, religious or homophobic beliefs include:
 Obama is a Muslim Socialist and is not eligible to be president because he was born in Kenya.
 Obama is going to take away their guns.
 If Republicans gain control of the House, Obama should be impeached.
 Repeal the 14th Amendment so being born in America won’t mean automatic citizenship.
 Obama’s Healthcare Plan has a hidden ‘Death Panel’ clause so they can decide who lives or dies.
 16,000 IRS agents have been hired to jail people who don’t have health insurance.
 Abortion is Murder. Every unborn child has the right to be born and survive to the age of eighteen so he or she can join the military and kill other eighteen year olds that have different religious or political views than they do.
 Church and State should be one.
 Gay marriage will ruin the sanctity of marriage.
 Evolution is a hoax.
 Creationism should be taught in schools.
 Global warming is a hoax.
 The Earth was created in 6 days and is 6,000 years old.
 Sarah Palin could become one of America’s finest presidents.

Man 1: I can’t believe that guy. He thinks Sarah Palin would make a great president!
Man 2: President of what?
Man 1: The United States!
Man 2: What? No way! He’s such a Teatard!

by Politic Ric October 27, 2010