19 definitions by Peter Adams
These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked chav who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other chavs will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Chavs will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Chavs will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
by Peter Adams December 19, 2004
by Peter Adams November 6, 2005
Trevor: What ya doing?
Hamish: I'm setting my alarm clock.
Trevor: What the fuck for?
Hamish: What do you mean what for? To get me up in the morning!
Trevor: Well, you're not going to work...you're not going on holiday...and you don't even bother to soap yer seal in the morning...so what have you got to get up for?
Hamish: I am a creature of habit.
Trevor: You don't even have a lie in on Sundays.
Hamish: Oh so I should be like you should I? Rotting like a corpse in bed until lunchtime every day, wallowing in my own spangle!
Trevor: Lovely! You should try it sometime!
Hamish: One morning you became so firmly glued to your encrusted blanket that you had to drag it around with you til tea-time like an albatross!
- Pets (www.petscomedy.co.uk)
Hamish: I'm setting my alarm clock.
Trevor: What the fuck for?
Hamish: What do you mean what for? To get me up in the morning!
Trevor: Well, you're not going to work...you're not going on holiday...and you don't even bother to soap yer seal in the morning...so what have you got to get up for?
Hamish: I am a creature of habit.
Trevor: You don't even have a lie in on Sundays.
Hamish: Oh so I should be like you should I? Rotting like a corpse in bed until lunchtime every day, wallowing in my own spangle!
Trevor: Lovely! You should try it sometime!
Hamish: One morning you became so firmly glued to your encrusted blanket that you had to drag it around with you til tea-time like an albatross!
- Pets (www.petscomedy.co.uk)
by Peter Adams January 6, 2004
Miss.Bowe: "Did anyone see the simpsons last night?"
Kid: "Yeah, that was funny."
Miss.Bowe: "You're on detention aren't you??"
Kid: "Yeah"
Miss.Bowe: "Well you've got another one from me for that smirk! On Friday night! Do you like Friday night detentions?"
Me: "Unlucky, mate. You just got the Bowe treatment!"
Kid: "Yeah, that was funny."
Miss.Bowe: "You're on detention aren't you??"
Kid: "Yeah"
Miss.Bowe: "Well you've got another one from me for that smirk! On Friday night! Do you like Friday night detentions?"
Me: "Unlucky, mate. You just got the Bowe treatment!"
by Peter Adams January 24, 2004
by Peter Adams January 7, 2004
by Peter Adams January 7, 2004
by Peter Adams January 7, 2004