Pantaloon's definitions

caruso

1)The act of adding melodrama to everything you do, even to the point that brushing your teeth is poignant and suspensful.
2)The act of leaving a job when it is at its most profitable, aging 50 years and getting on a CSI spin-off.

1)William Shatner doesn't actually caruso when he acts, although it seems a bit over the top. He is actually fitted with an undergarment ice cup to dip his balls in, to get that speech pattern. Only Caruso can caruso as truly as is humanly possible.
2)I liked the blow-job she was giving me, but I had to finish my term paper. I made an excuse to leave, without realizing I had carusoed and wouldn't dip the wick for another 6 months.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

Euro Trash

an automobile made by Renault.

They rented a piece of Euro Trash, that managed to carry them around the country, but pressing half the buttons only caused things like mirrors and door handles to fall off.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

lol

Originally found in Sumerian Tax Logs to define overdue fees (Late on Lamp Oil, some experts believe), this phrase has evolved through time. Shakespeare shunned the abbreviation, finding it impossible to rhyme with. Thoreau punched Jim Bowie in a local tavern for carving it on the table with his special knife, but Lincoln ad-libbed it in the original Gettysburg address during an uncomfortable moment in the Monologue. It meant "Laughing On Line" during the internet craze of the late 20th century, but now has been reduced to a response to the dull person you are texting to out of politeness rather than the one you are actually engaged in a conversation with, if you can call it that.

Sumerian Tax Log: Entry-2 dribs of Lamp Oil, payment 2days past due- LOL (usually required lopping off of something).
Shakespeare's feeble attempt; Mehears the lady LOL, mehopes not at mine nether hole.
Lincoln:Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.(uncomfortable shifting in crowd of living-dead did not shift hopefully)LOL, I meant equal as in, ya know, separate but equal, ya know, LOL, wait till you see my new bathroom signs. (Crowd relaxes) Ok, did I mention there's a new dee-luxe horse and buggy in the lot for y'all who came out today?(big whoop from crowd).
Justin text:RU still there?
Kimberly:LOL

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

Ritchie Cunningham

To have intercourse while wearing only a sweater and sox, the way Ritchie used to on the classic "Happy Days."

Mary-Beth Allen insisted that Ritchie Cunningham take off only his pants and tighty-whiteys when they screwed. She insisted it made his Pinky Tuscadero seem almost twice as large. It soon became all the rage, thanks to the graffiti on the ladies room wall.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

Milk the bull

1)The act of trying to produce milk from a steer. Results may vary.
2)Euphemism for yanking the genitals in a downward motion.

1)Josiah did his very best to draw dairy product from the old Fella, but he was kicked clear in the head. Just goes to show, you can teach a man to fish, but ye jus kain milk the bull.
2)Jillian attempted to milk Tommy's bull right there at the booth, but she only succeeded in drawing the attention of the other patrons at Applebee's. The steady popping noise was too distracting from the delightful delicacies of which they were partaking. The waitress was forced to lend a hand to expedite the process.

by Pantaloon January 26, 2008

the professor

The ruse of having a guy come over to fix something, with the real intention of having sex with him. Much the same way Marianne, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and the Skipper, used to play the Professor on the ol' TV classic Gilligan's Island.

Elaine worked the professor on Newman. She had him come over to fix her mail slot, and he delivered all over her.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

gandhi

1)Brilliant leader of non-violent Indian insurgency against British colonial rule during the first half of 20th century in. Philosophy of civil disobedience not only won independence for India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, but influenced Civil Rights movement in US through slain leader Martin Luther King Jr.
2)To shit one's pants or man-diaper with no visible sign of discomfort.

1)Gandhi inspired many millions of people to risk their lives to rid themselves of the shackles of the British Empire. He would often sit at his loom in a diaper. This was awe inspiring.
2)Uncle Joe would watch the Sunday games in his old Barcalounger with the food tray in front of him. Nary a facial muscle would twitch when he gandhied during the half-time show. The stench was unbelievable.

by Pantaloon January 22, 2008