Pantaloon's definitions

cotton panel

Apparently something that allows a vagina to breathe.

1)She seemed to be suffocating, but the gathering crowd didn't seem concerned. Her panties were constructed with a cotton panel.
2)When asked if her pussy would like something to eat, she seemed surprised, but the bartender motioned to her cotton panel, and she gave him a Mentos smile and agreed that a cocktail might do the trick.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

coochie war cry

1)known also as a handy, this ancient method of rousing the troops has been a native american custom from before the landing of De Soto and Armstrong. It involves the rapid paddling of the labia until Custer is surrounded.

The minutemen were ready only 50 seconds after hearing the furious spattle of the "coochie war cry." The Seneca had used it to great advantage in the French and Indian War and the militia would not let that lesson go unlearned. Betsy Ross was in no mood for an unloaded musket, so she left the armory doors wide open.

by Pantaloon January 17, 2008

brooking

A form of entertainment similar to cow tipping. It involves walking along a small creek with an unwitting companion, who is then shoved headlong into the drink. There seems to be an entire think tank devoted to the subtle art named The Brookings Institution. Visitors from Urban neighborhoods are often subjected to this chilling dip.

Janice could not wait to make out with James, but before they could get to the boathouse, he had brooked her. It was her first brooking. They say you never forget your first one.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

titchie

1)to be shoeless and snaggle-toothed with straggly red hair and gropey unwashed hands.
2)An under-emphasized flavor in fine wine.
3)The warbling of arm fat on the interstate.

1)She offered to play tonsil-hockey with me, but I was thinking she was a mite too titchie fer me. Her titchie hands were fast on the Johnson like crows on roadkill.
2)I'm not saying the Cabernet did not finish exquisitely. I'm just suggesting that the dingleberry was a bit titchie.
3)I was very upset to be coming home for the holidays, but was calmed by the sweet serenade of Aunt Edna's titchie.

by Pantaloon January 17, 2008

jang

The sweet aftertaste of oral sex on a woman.

The young lads were seekers of jang, and would spare no expense to this end. Twas as noble cause as ever was.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

fire in the hole

Common signal used among married couples. It allows the pair to go on, business as usual, and still have sex without bothering the husband with all that foreplay nonsense. The woman goes into the bedroom and works herself into a lather using whatever means necessary (nothing for the man to concern himself with). The man hits the record button on the remote, gives her the whammy jammy, and then takes a nap. The woman is free to go about her chores, or chat on the phone.

Betty needed the Wizmatic Double-Dong to do the trick, but she managed to work up a reasonable wide on. She put both hands to her mouth and called, "Fire in the hole!" She set herself to an appropriate position as she heard Mario lurching off the couch and scratching himself. She lay with her cheek sideways on the pillow and felt the cooling draft on her taint when Mario swung open the door. And then he was upon her, writhing like a captured weasel, spending himself like casino chips and collapsing over her back. Without missing a beat, Betty swung around the wizmatic and locked onto her target, guiding the rocket to ground zero. She grabbed a pear of sweats, went to the fridge, and grabbed a pint of Haagen-Daaz. Betty dropped herself onto the couch, and turned on Lifetime, while the snores of Mario rumbled steadily from the bedroom.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

milch talk

Speaking in iambic pentameter with a steady stream of obscenity, ala HBO's "Deadwood."

Voice from the box-"Welcome to Macdonald's, can I take your order?"

Driver-"Would a motherfucker be so fuckin' blind
as undiscerning to discern
the motherfuckin' value of fuckin value meal partook?"

Voice- "That'll be $6.49, please drive around to the second window, and thank you for choosing Motherfuckin' Macdonald's, Milch talker."

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008