Pantaloon's definitions

muddy boot

The darkened skin area around the vagina which leaves one with the impression that a muddy boot had recently trod upon it. Often called a muddy bootprint

When Tatiana fell on her ass, the muddy boot was peering out the sides of her thong. The image stalked Jonah's thoughts like an angry lumberjack.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

wide on

The female equivalent to a male hard on. The woman's vagina swells up until it resembles a tazered, twitching piece of liver, and the man can enjoy a snug, responsive ride, much like a European Sports car that looks like the organ of a cow.

In due time, she had achieved a wide on. Fortunately Bert was finished before his ass cheeks collapsed.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

muddy bootprint

Aka muddy boot- the darkened skin that radiates outward from the vagina at the center of a woman's inner thighs until the typical skin of the body is attained.

He had only gone down on girls with lily-white skin before Esmerelda, and was jarred by unexpected sight of a muddy bootprint. He descended into the dark abyss with trepidation.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

milch talk

Speaking in iambic pentameter with a steady stream of obscenity, ala HBO's "Deadwood."

Voice from the box-"Welcome to Macdonald's, can I take your order?"

Driver-"Would a motherfucker be so fuckin' blind
as undiscerning to discern
the motherfuckin' value of fuckin value meal partook?"

Voice- "That'll be $6.49, please drive around to the second window, and thank you for choosing Motherfuckin' Macdonald's, Milch talker."

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

hash mark

Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print.

Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!

by Pantaloon January 16, 2008

jang

The sweet aftertaste of oral sex on a woman.

The young lads were seekers of jang, and would spare no expense to this end. Twas as noble cause as ever was.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

handy

1)European word for cell phone.
2)Also known as coochie war cry, the slapping of the hand furiously against the vagina to arouse the warriors.
3)hand job.
4)A short skirt with little or no undergarmentry, to allow ready access.

1)We were able to get three bars on the Handy when we took the u-bahn Unter dem Linden.
2)Vera asked me for a Handie before she went in to ask for a raise. She leaned her backend across the aisle and I was able to slap her waggle silly from the comfort of my own cubicle.
3)Before the big sales presentation, I asked Wendy for a handy, just to steady my nerves, but she would only give me a bronski and a hummer.
4)Sarah wore a handy into the office, and was ready for dictation with minimal fabric displacement.

by Pantaloon January 17, 2008