Pantaloon's definitions

coochie war cry

1)known also as a handy, this ancient method of rousing the troops has been a native american custom from before the landing of De Soto and Armstrong. It involves the rapid paddling of the labia until Custer is surrounded.

The minutemen were ready only 50 seconds after hearing the furious spattle of the "coochie war cry." The Seneca had used it to great advantage in the French and Indian War and the militia would not let that lesson go unlearned. Betsy Ross was in no mood for an unloaded musket, so she left the armory doors wide open.

by Pantaloon January 17, 2008

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

Alice's Lunch

The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."

Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

sleestak

A last final emptying of the penile shaft, often resembling grain tumbling off the conveyor, resembles also the introduction to the TV series Land of the Lost, when the humans are tossed over a waterfall with some bad editing.

I was able to prop myself up to get a good sleestak, covering her landing strip with my UFOs.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

blow meat

The flesh on the back of the neck. Boxing legend Joe Frazier used the word to describe his own thick neck on "The Howard Stern Show"

Ginny found herself oddly attracted to a man's blow meat. She would stroke the meat in the same way she might milk a cow.

by Pantaloon February 5, 2008

finless brown trout

fish that can be domesticated, but which is often flushed prematurely. Often dumped into toilets, and mistaken for dead as it has no eyes, fins, tail, and doesn't seem to swim.

Timmy didn't want to flush the toilet, but his daddy reassured him, telling him he would restock the waters within hours with fresh finless brown trout.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008