Pantaloon's definitions

taint

1)The difference maker between the vagina and the anus, or the Ball sack and another anus
2)A jumping-off point, a place of decision
3)Sweaty region that is curiously intriguing to its owner

1)He has learned that starting from the front was crucial, as one time he had boldly worked his way from the asshole forward, only to encounter a man-sized taint.
2)The presidential candidate announced that he had moved beyond his own taint, and was ready to make the sacrifice for the good of the country. He was entering the fray, and would help to heal the taints of the American people.
3)He could not help but do a quick taint test during his filibuster, and for that Senator Strom's reputation was forever tainted.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

Alice's Lunch

The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."

Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

sleestak

A last final emptying of the penile shaft, often resembling grain tumbling off the conveyor, resembles also the introduction to the TV series Land of the Lost, when the humans are tossed over a waterfall with some bad editing.

I was able to prop myself up to get a good sleestak, covering her landing strip with my UFOs.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

cotton panel

Apparently something that allows a vagina to breathe.

1)She seemed to be suffocating, but the gathering crowd didn't seem concerned. Her panties were constructed with a cotton panel.
2)When asked if her pussy would like something to eat, she seemed surprised, but the bartender motioned to her cotton panel, and she gave him a Mentos smile and agreed that a cocktail might do the trick.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

brooking

A form of entertainment similar to cow tipping. It involves walking along a small creek with an unwitting companion, who is then shoved headlong into the drink. There seems to be an entire think tank devoted to the subtle art named The Brookings Institution. Visitors from Urban neighborhoods are often subjected to this chilling dip.

Janice could not wait to make out with James, but before they could get to the boathouse, he had brooked her. It was her first brooking. They say you never forget your first one.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008