Pantaloon's definitions

blow meat

The flesh on the back of the neck. Boxing legend Joe Frazier used the word to describe his own thick neck on "The Howard Stern Show"

Ginny found herself oddly attracted to a man's blow meat. She would stroke the meat in the same way she might milk a cow.

by Pantaloon February 5, 2008

milch talk

Speaking in iambic pentameter with a steady stream of obscenity, ala HBO's "Deadwood."

Voice from the box-"Welcome to Macdonald's, can I take your order?"

Driver-"Would a motherfucker be so fuckin' blind
as undiscerning to discern
the motherfuckin' value of fuckin value meal partook?"

Voice- "That'll be $6.49, please drive around to the second window, and thank you for choosing Motherfuckin' Macdonald's, Milch talker."

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

jang

The sweet aftertaste of oral sex on a woman.

The young lads were seekers of jang, and would spare no expense to this end. Twas as noble cause as ever was.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

fire in the hole

Common signal used among married couples. It allows the pair to go on, business as usual, and still have sex without bothering the husband with all that foreplay nonsense. The woman goes into the bedroom and works herself into a lather using whatever means necessary (nothing for the man to concern himself with). The man hits the record button on the remote, gives her the whammy jammy, and then takes a nap. The woman is free to go about her chores, or chat on the phone.

Betty needed the Wizmatic Double-Dong to do the trick, but she managed to work up a reasonable wide on. She put both hands to her mouth and called, "Fire in the hole!" She set herself to an appropriate position as she heard Mario lurching off the couch and scratching himself. She lay with her cheek sideways on the pillow and felt the cooling draft on her taint when Mario swung open the door. And then he was upon her, writhing like a captured weasel, spending himself like casino chips and collapsing over her back. Without missing a beat, Betty swung around the wizmatic and locked onto her target, guiding the rocket to ground zero. She grabbed a pear of sweats, went to the fridge, and grabbed a pint of Haagen-Daaz. Betty dropped herself onto the couch, and turned on Lifetime, while the snores of Mario rumbled steadily from the bedroom.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

Alice's Lunch

The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."

Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008