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Pantaloon's definitions

gwen stephani

What happens sometimes when the alcohol wears off before you get a girl back to your room. With the lights turned on, and the buzz gone, you realize that anything that might have caught your eye is really just derivative and uninteresting without the special effects and booze, and that really what you've got looks more like a skinny little boy than Madonna, Greta Garbo,Maryln Monroe, or a mildly amusing Blow-up doll.
The actual gwen stephani is the snapping noise as your dick and scrotum shrivels up rapidly into your abdomen. May require hospitalization and/or counseling for recovery.
Jimmy thought he was being a smart driver by only having one drink, but when his "date" came out of the bathroom, he almost thought he saw balls, but couldn't clear his head enough to prevent a full-on gwen stephanie from knocking him to the ground.
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
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Alice's Lunch

The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."
Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.
by Pantaloon January 28, 2008
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cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex
Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!
by Pantaloon January 30, 2008
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sleestak

A last final emptying of the penile shaft, often resembling grain tumbling off the conveyor, resembles also the introduction to the TV series Land of the Lost, when the humans are tossed over a waterfall with some bad editing.
I was able to prop myself up to get a good sleestak, covering her landing strip with my UFOs.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
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cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE
Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.
by Pantaloon January 12, 2008
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smash and grab

1)a form of petty thievery where the thief has a limited amount of time before he must flee the scene, and so maximizes this opportunity by breaking the glass of a storefront or display and grabbing as much loot as is possible in a single swoop. Often a shattered mess is what remains of the scene.
2)George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's Domestic and Foreign Policy. Substitute the words " the glass of a storefront or display" with either "Iraq,""The Planet," or "The American People."
1) The proprietors had it coming. They were just begging for a good ol' smash and grab.
2)Substitute "Iraq", "The Planet," "The American People," "our grandchildren," for the word "proprietors." in the above sentence.
by Pantaloon January 15, 2008
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pez dispenser

similar to taste the rainbow, the man uses his penis in the same manner as the classic candy machine. Not sure why he would want to do this, but it's always great fun at parties, and allows for hands free snack delivery.
Some of the younger kids at the concert missed the cultural reference when Jim dropped trou and gave em the ol' Pez Dispenser. One of them even had the nerve to yell out "Thanks for the gumball, Mickey!" As Jimmy flicked a few treats in his direction. As if he would ever put gumballs into his dick. Who would be crazy enough to do that?
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
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