Pantaloon's definitions

muddy bootprint

Aka muddy boot- the darkened skin that radiates outward from the vagina at the center of a woman's inner thighs until the typical skin of the body is attained.

He had only gone down on girls with lily-white skin before Esmerelda, and was jarred by unexpected sight of a muddy bootprint. He descended into the dark abyss with trepidation.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

lol

Originally found in Sumerian Tax Logs to define overdue fees (Late on Lamp Oil, some experts believe), this phrase has evolved through time. Shakespeare shunned the abbreviation, finding it impossible to rhyme with. Thoreau punched Jim Bowie in a local tavern for carving it on the table with his special knife, but Lincoln ad-libbed it in the original Gettysburg address during an uncomfortable moment in the Monologue. It meant "Laughing On Line" during the internet craze of the late 20th century, but now has been reduced to a response to the dull person you are texting to out of politeness rather than the one you are actually engaged in a conversation with, if you can call it that.

Sumerian Tax Log: Entry-2 dribs of Lamp Oil, payment 2days past due- LOL (usually required lopping off of something).
Shakespeare's feeble attempt; Mehears the lady LOL, mehopes not at mine nether hole.
Lincoln:Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.(uncomfortable shifting in crowd of living-dead did not shift hopefully)LOL, I meant equal as in, ya know, separate but equal, ya know, LOL, wait till you see my new bathroom signs. (Crowd relaxes) Ok, did I mention there's a new dee-luxe horse and buggy in the lot for y'all who came out today?(big whoop from crowd).
Justin text:RU still there?
Kimberly:LOL

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

mcfatty

What the drive-thru cashier must smoke in order to suggest super-sizing your meal 5000 times a shift,25000 times a week, millions of times a year,billions and billions served.

"Welcome to Mcdonald's. Can I take your order? **snort**"
My mother-in-law and I gave each other a knowing look. The loudspeaker snort was a dead give-away for Mcfatty inhalation. We bummed a couple of tokes in order to keep quiet, and then headed to the motel with our post-coital snack.

by pantaloon January 24, 2008

sheissucha

A phrase tacked onto the front of someone's name, be it friend, enemy, ex-girlfriend, girl who rejected you. Handy for the lobotomized.

Overheard, at the busstop;
Madison- "Sheissucha Ashley! Ohh, I hate her."
Kaitlin- "Did you get that from the Urban Dictionary? Cause that is f-in' brilliant! The entry I read said that 'Eva is a creative and sweet person, who I would love to to diddle.'" I crossed referenced diddle, and that means you would like to 'to touch or caress the genitals in some way.' Is that what you meant?
Madison- Oh, I don't know what I want! Why is growing up so angst-ridden? Aargh!
Kaitlin- Damn you Urban Dictionary, for confusing our hormonally supercharged adolescent brains more than ever! Curses to you, UD!
Emily-WTF???

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008

chesticles

What you get when you dive into icy cold water. The balls snap up through the abdominal cavity and come to rest in the thorax.

The water was so cold, Charlie got chesticles. his Speedo flat as a Ken doll.

by Pantaloon February 9, 2008

cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008