YOU'RE DOING IT RIGHT NOW, AS YOU READ THIS! It is the action of simply inhaling and exhaling. which you take in oxygen(among other things) and your cells do some shit called cellular respiratory to take that gluten...Wait no, glucose, and make it carbon dioxide, the very thing that will kill us all. Your respiratory system then takes your shitty carbon dioxide and chucks it out of your system, A.K.A. exhaling, because your body knows that carbon dioxide is bad for you, and instead it hates you for paying more attention to your dick than literally any other part of your body. So in response to this, your body, and everyone else's, yeets that carbon dying-oxide into the atmosphere, which is a small contribution to climate change, but still is there. Still haven't taken a breath? Go to Google images and search, "cool images" and then scroll to the bottom, and when you see "Show more?" or "The rest of this may not be what you are searching for. Continue anyway?" and click yes, or whatever button is there for you to continue. Keep doing this until you have to take a breath, no matter how cool or not the images actually are.
Someone: Oh shit, I can't breathe...I'm dying...
Me: If you're talking this much, you are definitely breathing, don't make me tell you how to breathe.
That same someone: How do you-
*gunshot*
Me: How do you breathe? Try it now, it should be easier, since now there's nothing blocking your wind pipe, except a gaping hole. But that should work, right? Cause it just lets more air in, so that should make breathing even easier for you, right?
That same now dead someone: .
Me: Ok. Bye!
Me: If you're talking this much, you are definitely breathing, don't make me tell you how to breathe.
That same someone: How do you-
*gunshot*
Me: How do you breathe? Try it now, it should be easier, since now there's nothing blocking your wind pipe, except a gaping hole. But that should work, right? Cause it just lets more air in, so that should make breathing even easier for you, right?
That same now dead someone: .
Me: Ok. Bye!
by PORGSSSS May 10, 2023

Why the actual fuck are almost all the posts on here about some goofy ah shit that often has to do with sex? Like seriously guys, if you're that lonely go make yourself an A.I. generated girlfriend or a cup of tea so you can cry all night without getting sleepy, I honestly couldn't care less, but just stop reading all these bullshit posts and actually go learn something off of abcmouse.com because you forgot to do that when you were 6 so now you're having to do it again so you don't fail that final as a junior in college, like I definitely didn't. Come on guys, there's always something better that you could be doing, no matter what time of day. That's all I have to say for now, but please take this at least somewhat serious, though I realize that'll be hard to do cause I wrote this like a fucking 3rd grader but screw it; Hope to see you all on the other side, even if it does take completing ABC Mouse twice or more. Good luck starting a better life.
Why the hell is this place so horny? Like, seriously, go get a better life and job.
"Settle down, have kids, don't be a dick."
-Ghandi
"Settle down, have kids, don't be a dick."
-Ghandi
by PORGSSSS October 19, 2023

Someone who will shred your sins away, looking extremely sexy for an 13 year old man with a full grown beard and the hole-iness of God himself. Damn, they must be full of holes. My favorite, h ttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/1vgUl9ASXh0
by PORGSSSS December 30, 2023

Holy fucking shit there are too many definitions for shit..... Why?!?!??
...........
*promptly dies*
Mother: Son, are you okay?
Sister: Yeah, he'll be fine, he's just sleeping.
Mother: ok.
Sister: *slips knife into his heart to make sure he stays dead*
Father: *notices*
Father: Holy fucking shit! What happened? WHO KILLED HIM? HMMM??????!?!?
Sister: He was probably depressed and killed himself, a lot of people do that these days. I don't know why. Dibs on his savings and allowance!
Father: WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN DINNER YET, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! NOT YET!
Mother: Honey! Calm down!
Father: *faints*
Mother and Sister: *goes on eating dinner silently, ignore both of the bodies.*
...........
*promptly dies*
Mother: Son, are you okay?
Sister: Yeah, he'll be fine, he's just sleeping.
Mother: ok.
Sister: *slips knife into his heart to make sure he stays dead*
Father: *notices*
Father: Holy fucking shit! What happened? WHO KILLED HIM? HMMM??????!?!?
Sister: He was probably depressed and killed himself, a lot of people do that these days. I don't know why. Dibs on his savings and allowance!
Father: WE HAVEN'T EVEN EATEN DINNER YET, YOU MOTHERFUCKER! NOT YET!
Mother: Honey! Calm down!
Father: *faints*
Mother and Sister: *goes on eating dinner silently, ignore both of the bodies.*
by PORGSSSS May 10, 2023

Someone who is a lying cock-sucking asshole whos last name just so happens to be Largent. Their name is short for Large Genitals, which is a disgrace in and of its own. Good luck lasting more than -13 years, Large Genitals.
by PORGSSSS December 30, 2023

POV:
ur asian taking a lie detector test
Son: "Hey dad, I took a lie detector test today."
Dad: "Oh ok, what score you get?"
Son: "Uh...it's a lie detector test, dad. There's no score, you either pass or fail."
Dad: "Okay, so did you pass or no?"
Son: "Well, you didn't want me to tell them how you raped my sister, right?"
Dad: "Shhh! Quiet! Someone could here you!"
Son: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I lied about that, so you wouldn't get in trouble."
Dad: "Ok, good boy."
Son: "But the thing is... they detected that I had lied."
Dad: "WHAT??? FBI GUNNA SHOW UP AT DA FRONT DOR ANY MINUT NOW! STOOBID!"
Son: "No dad, they won't. I killed them all before they could call the cops."
Dad: *stares at son for a while* "Okay, good boy. You want some ice cream?"
Son: "Uh....Sure, but that's not all."
Dad: "Oh my god. What now, son? Hah?"
Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
ur asian taking a lie detector test
Son: "Hey dad, I took a lie detector test today."
Dad: "Oh ok, what score you get?"
Son: "Uh...it's a lie detector test, dad. There's no score, you either pass or fail."
Dad: "Okay, so did you pass or no?"
Son: "Well, you didn't want me to tell them how you raped my sister, right?"
Dad: "Shhh! Quiet! Someone could here you!"
Son: "Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I lied about that, so you wouldn't get in trouble."
Dad: "Ok, good boy."
Son: "But the thing is... they detected that I had lied."
Dad: "WHAT??? FBI GUNNA SHOW UP AT DA FRONT DOR ANY MINUT NOW! STOOBID!"
Son: "No dad, they won't. I killed them all before they could call the cops."
Dad: *stares at son for a while* "Okay, good boy. You want some ice cream?"
Son: "Uh....Sure, but that's not all."
Dad: "Oh my god. What now, son? Hah?"
Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dude 1: Did you hear about those asians taking a lie detector test?
Dude 2: Yeah, I haven't seen 'em since, do you know where they are?
Dude 1: No...
Dude 2: Yeah, I haven't seen 'em since, do you know where they are?
Dude 1: No...
by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023

We all remember that day when we learned what cancer was, but my parents in particular did excruciatingly well telling me that half of my mom's side of the family had cancer and that they were going to eventually die. In fact, I think she first told us(me and my brother), at the ripe age of 4 and 2, that our grandma had stage 3 breast cancer and was going to die. She didn't even tell us what cancer was, for fuck's sake. And the consequence of that was me going on for another 8 years thinking cancer was instant death and that different parts of your body could get it.... Like, what the fuck? And then turns out my Grandpa had prostate cancer, so that was fun, but not as lethal. Another one of my great-uncles had ball cancer AND lung cancer. I can only pray that I don't share any of their fates, but I think one of the reasons she escaped it was because she went to med school. Definitely not me, so I can only hope.
Mother: Son, your grandma is going to die.
Son, crying: What?! Why??
Mother, in a perfectly calm face like this happens to her all the time: Cancer.
Son, noticing her lack of caring: Fuck you. Goodnight forever.
results of when your parents explain to you what cancer is
Son, crying: What?! Why??
Mother, in a perfectly calm face like this happens to her all the time: Cancer.
Son, noticing her lack of caring: Fuck you. Goodnight forever.
results of when your parents explain to you what cancer is
by PORGSSSS October 17, 2023
