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PDXJohnny99's definitions

masturbing

1. When someone is masturbating and either an awful sound, smell, thought or sight suddenly disturbs the person, thus ending the masturbation process abruptly.

2. Whenever a masturbating session is disturbed.
A. Ray was masturbating when he unexpectedly thought about his neighbor's grandmother and completely lost his hard-on. It was masturbing.
B. Ray was masturbating in his car and, unexpectedly, his neighbor caught him. It was too masturbing for Ray to go on.
C. Ray was masturbating on the toilet when he unexpectedly heard his neighbor screaming in his sleep from night terrors. Ray was somewhat masturbed by this.
D. Ray was masturbating to online porn when, unexpectedly, he discovered his neighbor was watching him from the living room window again. Very masturbing.
by PDXJohnny99 April 18, 2013
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Phone stroke

Whenever your cell phone suddenly dies during a text session, conversation, or any mode of communication due to battery malfunction or technical malfunction. Thus causing a period of time of uncertainty in the minds of the people you had been communicating with while the phone either stays powerless or while it reboots and reconnects.
Dave: Sorry I my phone died. I couldn't turn it on my battery fuckin' died and I had no way to call you back.
Colin: Uh... that was two days ago.
Dave: Phone stroke. It was totally down.. Lost my my charger.

Colin: Two days, dude.
Dave: Yeah. Sorry. Nothing I could do. Fucking phone stroke. Had to buy a new charger.
Colin: Well, anyway, I managed to escape from the satanic cult yesterday, but thanks for calling me back today. Glad your phone is back up.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
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Maherter

Pronounced the same as 'Martyr'.

An avid fan of Bill Maher. Maher is an American stand-up comedian, television host, political commentator, author and actor. He is the host of HBO's "Real Time with Bill Maher".

Maher is known for his sarcastic attitude, quick wit, political and social satire and sociopolitical commentary, which targets a wide range of topics including religion, politics, bureaucracies of many kinds, political correctness, and describes himself as "A truth lover".
Kaufman: Bill Maher is the man. The most truthful guy on TV. He is the truth.
Shell: I wouldn't go that far.
Kaufman: All he cares about is calling these hypocrites out on their bullshit. You're just jealous I'm a Maherter.
Shell: Oh, so you're a martyr now too?
Kaufman: I have been for years.
Shell: What the hell makes you a martyr?
Kaufman: Uhhh... you want a laudry list? Who's a bigger Maherter than me?
Shell: O.M.G. I'm going home. I've got to catch Fox News.
by PDXJohnny99 May 3, 2013
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Decency Flush

If a Courtesy Flush is flushing while still on the toilet (to eliminate odor for others' sakes), then a Decency Flush is simply flushing the toilet when done pooping... period.
Dear roommate: A 'courtesy flush' isn't required but a 'decency flush' kinda is. So please remember to flush after you shit your next hobbit. Okay, thanks.

Dear roommate: Found another shit show in the toilet today. Please refer to my last note... the whole 'decency flush' thing. Okay. Yeah. Thanks.

Dear roommate: Another hobbit found.

Dear roommate: Okay. Scratch the decency flush thing... moving on to 'mandated flush'. Please comply.

Dear roommate: I'm moving out. Not comfortable wearing this hazmat suit anymore.
by PDXJohnny99 June 25, 2013
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Dirt Dumb

Basically, the dumbest of the dumbest. Dumb as dirt.
Loyd is dirt dumb. He dropped his toilet paper roll in the toilet and put it in the microwave to dry it and burned the entire goddamn trailer park down. Dirt dumb.
by pdxjohnny99 March 27, 2016
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pill roulette

When a doctor tests certain medications on a patient, but actually worsens the problem through trial and error.
Micky: my doc put me on antidepressants... but it actually made me suicidal... so he put me on another kind and now don't give shit about anything... so now he thinks I need a different kind... I feel like a lab rat!

Mallory: Sounds like pill roulette to me.
by PDXJohnny99 April 10, 2013
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Romzoms

RomZoms is short for Romero Zombies. The films, shows, books or any media regarding the post-Night of the Living Dead/ George Romero type zombie subgenre. These zombies shuffle slowly, groan, feast on human guts and animals... and DO NOT SPRINT LIKE THEYRE TRYING OUT FOR FUCKING TRACK AND FIELD!

Not to be confused with pre-Romero voodoo zombies either... a defining factor is voodoo zombies don't eat people alive.
Brandon: Look at these zombies running faster than this physically fit guy.
Brent: Well... they're not Romzoms. So who cares?
Brandon: But their tendons are ripped, they can barely function mentally, how... HOW??
Brent: They're just not Romzoms. No need to even compare.
Brandon: You're right, bro... Romzoms will always rule. Romero is the king.
by PDXJohnny99 April 12, 2013
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