PDXJohnny99's definitions
Melanie: I hate this job. I hate everyone I work with. They're all backstabbin' cocksuckers. I hate my salary. I can't afford to feed my fish. It's your fault, you dick!
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.
Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.
Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.
Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.
Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?
by PDXJohnny99 May 22, 2013
Get the Every Time I Breathe Air mug.Any fan of zombie films, shows, books, games, etc. Usually in association with the post-Night of the Living Dead era, aka George Romero zombies, aka RomZoms; and not classic voodoo zombies.
Danny is a true zombite. He has every issue of the Walking Dead. He has every Romero film on vhs, laser disc, bluray and dvd.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
by PDXJohnny99 April 17, 2013
Get the zombite mug.An intervention by family and friends with the intent of reaching out emotionally to a troubled individual, but it goes terribly wrong and ends up in possible arguments, anger, vulgarities, screaming, fist-fights, and visits to the nearest emergency room.
Uncle Bobby's intervention didn't go well this morning. We started with a prayer and it turned out he was on PCP and punched Aunt Angie in the face and kicked his buddy Mike in the groin. Then he grabbed their dog Ladie and dropkicked it across the living room. It turned out to be a fucking aggrovention.
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Get the aggrovention mug."Happy Indie Day! Don't blow any fingers off with those firecrackers!"
"Happy Indie Day! Is there any beer left?"
"Happy Indie Day! Look, I'm wearing red white and... shit these pants are brown!"
"Happy Indie day. No, not indie rock. No, not Indiana Jones either. No, not indie films... fuck it... Happy 4th of July!"
"Happy Indie Day! Is there any beer left?"
"Happy Indie Day! Look, I'm wearing red white and... shit these pants are brown!"
"Happy Indie day. No, not indie rock. No, not Indiana Jones either. No, not indie films... fuck it... Happy 4th of July!"
by PDXJohnny99 August 18, 2013
Get the Indie Day mug.Whenever someone eats any kind of sandwhich of burger on a sesame seed bun, and once finished proceeds to pick and eat the leftover sesame seeds off the plate or wrapper.
Dawn: Okay... are you done with you're roast beef sandwhiches? Let's go.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
Smitty: No way. Sesame standoff.
Dawn: For real? You embarass the shit out of me when you do this!
Smitty then starts picking every sesame seed off the wrappers.
Dawn: I'm never eating out with you again, dad.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
Get the Sesame Standoff mug.Nickname for 'Game of Thrones' fans, an HBO show based on the epic fantasy A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin.
I never in the world thought I would ever watch a Game of Thrones episode. But I did... and now I've been hooked for two years. Its like smoking a Middle Earth crackpipe! I'm so addicted to this show... I can now say I am a true Throne-ite!
by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013
Get the Throne-ite mug.Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.
When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
BOOM!
Jane: what was that??
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or...
Jane: I haven't seen him yet...
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him.
BAAMMM!
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say?
Jane: What breed is he?
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013
Get the puppy parkour mug.