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PDXJohnny99's definitions

Redlight Elephant

When people don't want to address, debate or offer solutions about the growing issue of the homeless in America.

Wordplay derived from "The elephant in the room" phrase: important issues or subject matter that people tend not to want to discuss, thus overlooking the isuue.

Redlight is a reference to a traffic light; homeless often stand at traffic lights to aquire money from passing drivers.
Michelle was driving home from work and saw a man with a cardboard sign at the taffic light on the corner of Cornell. The Redlight Elephant struck, she wanted to help but drove right by the man.

Jen and Mike were approached by three homeless coming out of the bookstore. They didn't hesitate to walk past without making eye contact. Neither addressed the Redlight Elephant on their walk to the car.
by PDXJohnny99 May 10, 2013
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Room Zooms

When someone is so shitfaced that the room is spinning.
Jodi: Oh my gawd... I'm soooooo druunk.... whooooo.... room zooms!!
Ralph: Not again. If you vomit on my airbrushed Supertramp couch cover again I'm really-
Jodi: RRRRAAAWWWLLLLLFFFFF!!
by PDXJohnny99 April 12, 2013
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Spunk Junkie

She's a Spunk Junkie.

She's got the need for seed.

She loves the Jerk Juice. The Cock Cream. The Tang. The Meat Mix. The Man Milk. The Boy Batter. The Load Launch. The Nut Butter. The Jizz Juice. The Salt Shake. The White Wash.
by PDXJohnny99 August 26, 2013
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Jobmare

Those nightmares people tend to have related to their occupations. Often it tends to be a reoccurring nightmare and a supervisor is a prominant figure in the dream usually.
Wally recently started a new job as a master control operator at the local television station. He is the person responsible for making sure the television shows air perfectly. He is completely stressed out due to the fact that the job is hyper-technical and his work is being watched by thousands of viewers at any given time.
Now he's having jobmares. In these dreams he is constantly off-air and his boss either stands quietly behind him or screams in his face... and his entire shift becomes one major shitstorm and Wally's name becomes the source of constant putdowns around work. Then he wakes up.
He airs Headline News every shift at his job. The jobmares are ruining his sleep almost nightly. Last night he fell asleep at home with the tv on, then headline news came on and Wally snapped awake... thinking he missed his commercial break and ended up shitting the bed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
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Decency Flush

If a Courtesy Flush is flushing while still on the toilet (to eliminate odor for others' sakes), then a Decency Flush is simply flushing the toilet when done pooping... period.
Dear roommate: A 'courtesy flush' isn't required but a 'decency flush' kinda is. So please remember to flush after you shit your next hobbit. Okay, thanks.

Dear roommate: Found another shit show in the toilet today. Please refer to my last note... the whole 'decency flush' thing. Okay. Yeah. Thanks.

Dear roommate: Another hobbit found.

Dear roommate: Okay. Scratch the decency flush thing... moving on to 'mandated flush'. Please comply.

Dear roommate: I'm moving out. Not comfortable wearing this hazmat suit anymore.
by PDXJohnny99 June 25, 2013
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curvy catcher

A male who loves the curvy females. One who adores BBW, ample butts, ample breasts, thick hips and thighs.

"These women are whole women, not half women. And its always a party when you're with them." - Johnny Kaufman
Benny is a curvy catcher. He always has been. He always will be. It is twice the thrill touching and holding the large, lovely ladies. It is twice the thrill making love to them. He loves the thick chicks by far.

When he passes a skeletal type on the street he always suggests she should eat a french fry.
by PDXJohnny99 April 24, 2013
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puppy parkour

Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.

When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv. 
BOOM! 
Jane: what was that?? 
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or... 
Jane: I haven't seen him yet... 
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him. 
BAAMMM! 
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say
Jane: What breed is he? 
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013
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