PDXJohnny99's definitions

Every Time I Breathe Air

A remark used about something that is ongoing, redundant, never changing, redundant and redundant.

Melanie: I hate this job. I hate everyone I work with. They're all backstabbin' cocksuckers. I hate my salary. I can't afford to feed my fish. It's your fault, you dick!
Melanie's boss: You tell me that every time I breathe air.

Zoe: Gosh, I'm sick of this new server here at work.
Waggs: It crashes every time I breathe air. No worries.

Melanie: I hate being sober. I hate getting high all day. I hate you, dick. You raped my dreams and let them die, you fucker. I could have been a dancer, cocksucker.
Melanie's son: Yeah, I know, mom. You tell me every time I breathe air.

Waggs: Dang, how many times are they going to show Empire Strikes Back?
Zoe: Its Spike TV. They show it every time I breathe air. Heck, let's watch it again. No worries.

Melanie: Fuuuuuuuuuck. I hate my spending problem. I hate that I have no money to spend. I hate all this stupid shit I bought. I hate this clutter. I hate being called a fucking horder all the time. I fucking hate you, bitch. Why didn't you get me that abortion?
Melanie's mom: Trust me I would have gotten my abortion if I had the money.
Melanie: Wait... what?? YOUR abortion.
Melanie's mom: Oh dear. Did I say that out loud?

by PDXJohnny99 May 22, 2013

Murder you to Death

A threat that's explains itself.

Big Brother: I'm gonna eat your cookies, sis. That okay?
Sister: You do and...I'll fucking eat your fucking eyeballs, fucker!
Big Brother: crunch crunch
Sister: If you fucking eat one fucking more I'll castrate your fucking dog with my teeth!
Big Brother: crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
Sister: I'll fucking MURDER YOU TO DEATH!! FUCKER!!
Big Brother: crunch. crunch crunch crunch crunch. crunch crunch

by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013

aggrovention

An intervention by family and friends with the intent of reaching out emotionally to a troubled individual, but it goes terribly wrong and ends up in possible arguments, anger, vulgarities, screaming, fist-fights, and visits to the nearest emergency room.

Uncle Bobby's intervention didn't go well this morning. We started with a prayer and it turned out he was on PCP and punched Aunt Angie in the face and kicked his buddy Mike in the groin. Then he grabbed their dog Ladie and dropkicked it across the living room. It turned out to be a fucking aggrovention.

by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013

Throne-ite

Nickname for 'Game of Thrones' fans, an HBO show based on the epic fantasy A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin.

I never in the world thought I would ever watch a Game of Thrones episode. But I did... and now I've been hooked for two years. Its like smoking a Middle Earth crackpipe! I'm so addicted to this show... I can now say I am a true Throne-ite!

by PDXJohnny99 April 14, 2013

Indie Day

Short for Indepedence Day, the Fourth of July.

"Happy Indie Day! Don't blow any fingers off with those firecrackers!"

"Happy Indie Day! Is there any beer left?"

"Happy Indie Day! Look, I'm wearing red white and... shit these pants are brown!"

"Happy Indie day. No, not indie rock. No, not Indiana Jones either. No, not indie films... fuck it... Happy 4th of July!"

by PDXJohnny99 August 18, 2013

Don't knock it 'til you rock it

Basically, give something or someone a chance before you put it down.

1. Carl: I'm never watching Game of Thrones... I don't like fantasy.

Carol: Game of Thrones is the best show ever. Ever.

Carl: Shoot. I knocked it... before I rocked it.

2. Stan: I hate to think I'd ever eat sautéed pig stomach... it sounds gross.

Deborah: It's actually okay. My aunt makes it on Thanksgiving.

Stan: Fuck. Seriously???

Deborah: Don't knock it 'til you rock it.

3. Vern: WOW crack IS powerful.

Bert: Goddamn right it's powerful. Don't ever knock it til you rock it. Fucker.

by pdxjohnny99 January 3, 2016

Decency Flush

If a Courtesy Flush is flushing while still on the toilet (to eliminate odor for others' sakes), then a Decency Flush is simply flushing the toilet when done pooping... period.

Dear roommate: A 'courtesy flush' isn't required but a 'decency flush' kinda is. So please remember to flush after you shit your next hobbit. Okay, thanks.

Dear roommate: Found another shit show in the toilet today. Please refer to my last note... the whole 'decency flush' thing. Okay. Yeah. Thanks.

Dear roommate: Another hobbit found.

Dear roommate: Okay. Scratch the decency flush thing... moving on to 'mandated flush'. Please comply.

Dear roommate: I'm moving out. Not comfortable wearing this hazmat suit anymore.

by PDXJohnny99 June 25, 2013