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PDXJohnny99's definitions

Murder you to Death

A threat that's explains itself.
Big Brother: I'm gonna eat your cookies, sis. That okay?
Sister: You do and...I'll fucking eat your fucking eyeballs, fucker!
Big Brother: crunch crunch
Sister: If you fucking eat one fucking more I'll castrate your fucking dog with my teeth!
Big Brother: crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch crunch
Sister: I'll fucking MURDER YOU TO DEATH!! FUCKER!!
Big Brother: crunch. crunch crunch crunch crunch. crunch crunch
by PDXJohnny99 April 16, 2013
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zombite

Any fan of zombie films, shows, books, games, etc. Usually in association with the post-Night of the Living Dead era, aka George Romero zombies, aka RomZoms; and not classic voodoo zombies.
Danny is a true zombite. He has every issue of the Walking Dead. He has every Romero film on vhs, laser disc, bluray and dvd.

But his Uncle Harold was the biggest zombite he ever met. Uncle Harold invented a sexual position called "zombie-style". He's divorced now.
Every Thanksgiving he would stuff the turkey with pig guts and fake blood and he and the children would tear the turkey apart with their barehands. He has lost custody of the children.
He used to fake-bite coworkers on the neck in bathrooms or elevators. He's now unemployed.
For two years straight he was first place in the state Zombie Run. Now he's banned because of doping.
by PDXJohnny99 April 17, 2013
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Tube Snoozer

Someone who needs or tends to leave the television on to help them sleep. Usually rerunning a movie or tv show they've seen so many times to comfort (or bore) them to sleep.
Dave: Your wife Rhonda watches the same freakin' movie every night. Why?
Brent: It makes her fall asleep...and now it makes me fall asleep cuz its freakin' mind-numbing.
Dave: Dear God... I'm surrounded by tube snoozers.
by PDXJohnny99 April 11, 2013
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puppy parkour

Parkour: holistic training for humans.
Puppy: a young doggie, a spaz.

When you get an untrained puppy and the motherfucker goes completely batshit insane every waking moment.
Jaylene: oh... I'm so glad school is out. Let's watch tv. 
BOOM! 
Jane: what was that?? 
Jaylene: oh... my new puppy. Bouncing off a wall.... or the couch... or... 
Jane: I haven't seen him yet... 
Jaylene: Every minute or so he'll hit a wall and slide down. That's the best time to see him. 
BAAMMM! 
Jaylene: Puppy Parkour... what can I say
Jane: What breed is he? 
Jaylene: Part Chihuahua... part Pug.... part retard. He's a designer breed.
by PDXJohnny99 April 28, 2013
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Decency Flush

If a Courtesy Flush is flushing while still on the toilet (to eliminate odor for others' sakes), then a Decency Flush is simply flushing the toilet when done pooping... period.
Dear roommate: A 'courtesy flush' isn't required but a 'decency flush' kinda is. So please remember to flush after you shit your next hobbit. Okay, thanks.

Dear roommate: Found another shit show in the toilet today. Please refer to my last note... the whole 'decency flush' thing. Okay. Yeah. Thanks.

Dear roommate: Another hobbit found.

Dear roommate: Okay. Scratch the decency flush thing... moving on to 'mandated flush'. Please comply.

Dear roommate: I'm moving out. Not comfortable wearing this hazmat suit anymore.
by PDXJohnny99 June 25, 2013
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Romzoms

RomZoms is short for Romero Zombies. The films, shows, books or any media regarding the post-Night of the Living Dead/ George Romero type zombie subgenre. These zombies shuffle slowly, groan, feast on human guts and animals... and DO NOT SPRINT LIKE THEYRE TRYING OUT FOR FUCKING TRACK AND FIELD!

Not to be confused with pre-Romero voodoo zombies either... a defining factor is voodoo zombies don't eat people alive.
Brandon: Look at these zombies running faster than this physically fit guy.
Brent: Well... they're not Romzoms. So who cares?
Brandon: But their tendons are ripped, they can barely function mentally, how... HOW??
Brent: They're just not Romzoms. No need to even compare.
Brandon: You're right, bro... Romzoms will always rule. Romero is the king.
by PDXJohnny99 April 12, 2013
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curvy catcher

A male who loves the curvy females. One who adores BBW, ample butts, ample breasts, thick hips and thighs.

"These women are whole women, not half women. And its always a party when you're with them." - Johnny Kaufman
Benny is a curvy catcher. He always has been. He always will be. It is twice the thrill touching and holding the large, lovely ladies. It is twice the thrill making love to them. He loves the thick chicks by far.

When he passes a skeletal type on the street he always suggests she should eat a french fry.
by PDXJohnny99 April 24, 2013
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