P. Kaltenbach's definitions

hulk out

See Columbine shooting

Wow, those crazy ass kids really had a hulk out. Going from relatively unknown high school kids to school shooting defintions.

by P. Kaltenbach January 9, 2008

cursive

A totally useless ancient form of writing used to promote elementary teacher laziness and the 8 hour school day.

Elementary school students believe that cursive will be used all their lives and that desks will protect them from nuclear fallout, knaves.

by P. Kaltenbach April 29, 2008

Reign of Terror

A historical period of suppression of suspected royalists and Girondists by the left thinking revolutionists of the day. Some estimates of up to 40,000 people killed are speculated.

Frenchman 1: We need to get rid of the counter-revs!
Frenchman 2: Lets grab that little girl and behead her I think we won't have to surrender to her because she's French too!
Frenchman 1: Oui. Let us proceed with our Reign of Terror.

by P. Kaltenbach January 16, 2008

Smurf-Contra Affair

The blueberries in out-of-package muffin mixes are really dead smurfs that have been stripped of their traditional clothing and put in an industrial food dehydrators. This is done to cut costs in the wake lagging muffin market of 1998 now just continued for the benefit of profit margin. They are gathered in Columbia by rebels to help pay for their Communist ambitions in the region.

The Smurf-Contra Affair is ongoing so I have declined blueberry muffins since 1998.

by P. Kaltenbach January 13, 2008

saab

A car usually driven by yuppies and expensive as hell to get repairs on. However, very solid design although not really roomy.

A Saab is a fun car to drive except when you are 6'4

by P. Kaltenbach April 29, 2008

The Great Smurf Wars

An event caught in many segment by celebrated documentrist Jerry Springer in which segments of the smurf peoples went to war over ideological differences in regards to Marxism or Maoism and is it morally correct to call she-males smurfettes. The brutal affair claimed many and the streets ran blue with the snot/shit/blood/guts/tears/various body parts of the little buggers. May have gone unnoticed due to inconsequence height wise.

The Great Smurf Wars claimed enough Smurfmen that muffin mix companies just pick up the bodies and add them to their mixes being cheaper than blueberrys (see Smurf-Contra Affair).

by P. Kaltenbach January 13, 2008

Poverty

A virtual non-existant condition in the US since 99.9% of its citizens have access to shelter, food, and safe drinking water.

The welfare recipient complained about his poverty while watching his T.V. and enjoying microwaved taquitos. He had no idea of the abyssmal conditions elsewhere.

by P. Kaltenbach July 1, 2008